To ask Dh to go to the 'posh' pub for Sunday lunch

[ilovedoodles]

Just asked my Dh if he would like to go for Sunday dinner tomorrow at a pub and he said yes.
I suggested a particular pub which does amazing food and he said only if you're paying (as he thinks it is too expensive). It is a bit pricey for a roast at £15 each but on the other hand it is really nice food and is much nicer than any of the other local places.
We haven't been out together anywhere this weekend where we spent money. He would quite happily go to another pub that will cost £11 each. I won't enjoy this as much as the food is just ok.
AIBU to think he can't spare another £4? I have said I will pay for myself.
He earns a good wage and money is not an issue.

YANBU

HINBU

I'd grab a mate and go with them instead.

Leave Scrooge McScrooge face to make his own dinner.

I dont understand the concept of you paying. Surely a husband and wife have mingled finances?

If money comes into a Sunday lunch, the cheapest is to do it at home. Going out is for something extra, so I would go for the slightly more expensive place if that is going to fulfil the promise.

Why is separate money an actual thing in your marriage though? DH and I share it all....when one of us comes into a bit more, we discuss what to do with it. When we're out and about, the money which we spend is shared...

I am assuming from this one incident that he's a) a bit tight b) earns more than you and c) doesn't think you should share finances even though you're married. How many have I got right?

I do cook it normally but just fancied not cooking one tomorrow. Maybe I am being a bit lazy but just thought it would be nice to go out somewhere.

Wow @Butterymuffin are you psychic?

£15 on a nice dinner is money well spent, £11 on a crap dinner is a waste of money, have a go at him for wasting money by paying for the crap dinner

I don't get the concept of shared finances, certainly don't buy into the what's yours is mine etc etc attitude. Myself and DH have separate finances and separate financial responsibilities which we decide together - makes it easier imo.

If you want to eat at the more expensive place, offer up the difference.

Agree with Nancy

Bum shared finances are sensible...both parties should of course have money to spend on what they want to but sharing equals a situation where one person earns more or one person is the stay at home parent.

If both work and earn, then why not share?

I never understand it when couples say "he's paying" or "she's paying". Isn't all money everyone's?

As for the not wanting to go to the never prlce for the want of £4, try a taste challenge. Go to the posh one tomorrow, not so posh one next week, compare notes.

Maybe I am being a bit lazy but just thought it would be nice to go out somewhere.

Let me guess... He never cooks.

I do cook it normally but just fancied not cooking one tomorrow. Maybe I am being a bit lazy but just thought it would be nice to go out somewhere.

My DH cooks a Sunday roast every single week without fail (proper Sunday dinner addicts here).

If he didn't fancy cooking tomorrow, I'd gladly eat at whatever pub/restaurant he chose, because I think he deserves it.

I certainly wouldn't be quibbling over 4 lousy quid.

He has never cooked the Sunday dinner, no. But he does cook other meals so not all bad!

I've never got the separate finances between married couples either btw.

I was quite stunned to find that some Mumsnetters don't even know how much their spouse earns.

How tiresome. Tell him to stay at home and rub his four pound coins together, get a friend to go with you or even take a newspaper and go alone.

Honestly I know it's predictable but so many threads on here, even over petty things (him not you) make me so glad to be single.

To be honest, I think not sharing finances can work. DP and I don't share finances, although it's usually me paying for the food as I am a higher earner.

Actually just got offered my first management role and when discussing the finances, DP said it's not our money, it's mine lol.

However, were completely transparent about what each or us earns and has to spend, and we do try to split the bills so we have the same amount left each month.

Sorry, I am rambling.

Suggest he pays the £11, and you'll pay the extra? Or just go without him! I'd rather have the £15 one too!

Little things like this are annoying me more and more. I know it's only a petty thing but I feel like I am getting worn down and the love I have for him is getting harder to feel by the day.
I can't believe he is being so stubborn over £4 and is happy to spend precious weekend time arguing with his wife over a roast dinner!

Do people really want to share a lunch, let alone a life with someone they have to pay £4 to in order for them to agree to accompany them?

Go without him

Go with a friend.

Hide four pound coins around the house. Half an hour before you leave tell him you've hidden them, but not where. Looking for his precious money will keep him occupied and his arse off the sofa while you're out having fun.

£15 is too much for a Sunday roast? Sounds about right to me.

Tell him you will pay the difference! 2 can play at being tight