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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For fussy eaters to drive me crazy?

209 replies

MrsPreston11 · 25/01/2018 13:31

Kid in my daughters class (not SEN, that I can sympathise with) is the fussiest eater ever.

To the point I won't have her over for dinner.

Just eats plain pasta, peanut butter sandwiches (has to be certain PB and certain white bread, of course) and chicken nuggets and chips but of course alllll the sweets.

I feel like every fussy kid I've know has had that as their menu.....

I just cannot get my head around it. HOW?

My only assumption is that the parent feeds them what they want for a quiet life. Unfair?

Or am I being totally unreasonable and missing something?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 25/01/2018 14:37

It was after I'd specially driven across town to Morrison's to buy exacttly the right brand of cheese and tomato pizza for ds2's fussymate#1 only to have it rejected because I'd cut it into 6ths not quarters that I decided I was not doing it (attempting to feed this child) any more.

So now he comes over for a few hours and goes home for tea. He is welcome to play here. He can live on cola bottles at home.

MyMarmitePurrs · 25/01/2018 14:38

My daughter is a fussy eater - she loves Sharwoods frozen chicken korma - but not a Korma I make with fresh chicken and a jar of Sharwoods sauce - apparently "it doesn't taste the same !! It's taken her 3 years to finally accept she likes roast potatoes, and will now try most veg (She is 16) When she was about 3 she went through a phase where all she would eat was Sweet n Sour Supernoodles - and do you know what call me lazy but as a single mum with full time job - she got them for breakfast lunch and dinner - she soon got bored - kids tastes change as they get older and I learnt not to pick a battle I couldn't win

Aki99 · 25/01/2018 14:39

This child would starve in my house (except for the plain pasta)

TheWanderingUterus · 25/01/2018 14:39

Having been a parent of a fussy eater I will always cater to their tastes on play dates. Its no skin off my nose as long as I am given some warning about brands and tastes. If they only eat Sainsbury’s chicken nuggets and McCain’s chips then I need to know that, because I usually shop in Lidl. My children have been known to deliberately invite fussy eaters so they can eat that kind of meal more regularly!

It isnt my problem to solve and I don't give it much thought as long as the child isnt rude or badly behaved. Those are two things that will ensure you won’t get a return invite, not fussy eating.

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast · 25/01/2018 14:39

Ok, can i just say i know how frustrating fussy eating can be. My DSS will only have pizza, cheap tinned hotdogs, nuggets or chips. no veg or fruit what so ever.

If i do a sunday roast he will just have a roast potato and chicken. it does get hard as i need to make sure i can cook something for him as well as do all our own meals but it is what it is xx

DancingOnRainbows · 25/01/2018 14:40

Barbarianmum, that's down to anxiety.

wysteriafloribunba · 25/01/2018 14:43

I don't mind fussy eaters. It's how they are. Just give them what their parent says they will eat. It is only one meal.

One of mine would eat everything at 3, and now at 5 has a very restricted list of meals. I haven't changed anything in the way I cook or serve food. I think in part it has something to do with being influenced by other children at school, but I am sure that's not the only reason. I never force her to try something, it is always a choice. I do serve a healthy balanced (over all) diet, even of some meals are on the more junky end of the spectrum.

BarbarianMum · 25/01/2018 14:43

Then I'm doing him a favour by not inviting him to eat here any more Rainbows.

Anditstartsagain · 25/01/2018 14:44

I'm a 30 something fussy eater I've just learned to avoid the arsehole's who think my food preference are their business eating at other people houses unless I know that they will have food I can eat.

I have bad food anxiety I would love to just be able to eat anything but I can't the worst thing ia people who bring it up all the time in an attempt to shame me into eating.

Bluedoglead · 25/01/2018 14:44

“This child would starve in my house”

Mine did. Literally.

Bluntness100 · 25/01/2018 14:45

You sound very judgemental of the mother. So what if she's drinking red bull and having a cigarette. Does it make her a bad person? Does it indicate lazy parenting?

If you know thr little girl eats chicken nuggets and chips, just make her them. Won't harm your kids every once in a while.

Stop making it a big thing.

DancingOnRainbows · 25/01/2018 14:47

Probably yes! I'm sure my child would rather be offered nothing than face having to explain why he can't eat to someone judgmental.

TheStoic · 25/01/2018 14:50

Mine did. Literally.

Your child starved?

chocatoo · 25/01/2018 14:51

Actually it's not the plain/junk food that's irritating, it's the fact that it's combined with eating fistsful of crappy sweets!!!

betgilroy · 25/01/2018 14:51

Adult fussy eaters are worst

Lizzie48 · 25/01/2018 14:52

There's nothing harder than dealing with a fussy eater. My DD insists on plain pasta too. I offer her plain pasta but persuade her to eat a couple of mouthfuls of whatever the sauce is, and a couple of pees is as much as I can convince her to eat. I've been tearing my hair out about it over the years.

Don't judge until you've walked a mile in the parents' shoes.

betgilroy · 25/01/2018 14:52

Worse*

Bluedoglead · 25/01/2018 14:52

Starved themselves. Yes. And was admitted to hospital as a result.

Severely restricted diet. Plus MIL who didn’t believe in such things. Who was doing care at the time as I was working.

She is now the ex mil and my DC do not see her.

hazeyjane · 25/01/2018 14:53

KeepinUpWithTheJonesys. If my ds ate a minute amount of the stuff you've listed I'd feel like I'd won the lottery! It is also great that she is willing to try things.

My ds is at the fairly extreme end of restricted eating. He does have additional needs. And gastrointestinal problems which means he has a difficult relationship with eating. I guess I should be grateful he would also never want to eat at someone else's house! When we have been to other people's houses though, I do explain amf ask if I am ok to bring a few things he will eat. Those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind.

mogulfield · 25/01/2018 14:54

SHE must be terribly malnourished in almost all vitamins and minerals if that’s all she eats.
My son is borderline anaemic (I suffer with it too) and he’s a fairly good eater, I’ve Made it my mission since I found out to include iron rich foods in meals (black pudding, spinach, mussels, lentils). I’ve always wondered about the iron levels of these kids that have such restrictive diets.

Hullabaloo31 · 25/01/2018 14:54

I have one fussy eater and one that will eat anything I put in front of her, didn't do a thing different! It's a massive pain in the arse. I wish my fussy one would eat plain pasta!

I'd just accomodate it like anything else really, allergies, still needing nappies at night etc.

Birdsgottafly · 25/01/2018 15:02

I was a fussy eater, because I came from a neglectful home and was fed on junk and sweets, so noway was I going to welcome vegetables at a strange house. This continued until into my 30's.

My DD has a limited diet because of Autism. She would starve herself, if forced into eating. As for the comments about the children in poor countries, it wouldn't go down well with SS if you allowed your child to be malnourished because you wanted to dictate what they ate.

"but that limited diet doesn't seem to include crisps, fish fingers and other frozen junk food, chocolate and sweets."

When you consider the effect these foods have on the brain, it makes sense that a child with limited food choices would choose them to eat. Many perfectly functioning/rational Adults are addicted to their diet, we can't expect better from children.

My toddler Granddaughter has food issues, which is connected to toileting. It would be unbelievable to many on here how little she eats. She would be ill if she wasn't offered what she will eat and yes, that includes Wotsits.

Humans are very good at getting what they need from their diet, so why people get so hung up about food that they can't feed a child one meal, every now and again, that doesn't include every food group, i don't understand, because there isn't any reason to.

My children are Adults, all of their peer group have sorted their eating out enough so they are not going to drop dead at 50, or it mean they can never eat out.

The only reason to get annoyed with a fussy eater is if they are trying to dictate were you eat out etc.

Beamur · 25/01/2018 15:03

Three kids in our house, one will eat anything, the others won't.
No SEN, but both girls much more sensitive to texture of foods. There is good news! Sometimes you do grow out of it, DSD was a terrible eater as a child would only eat beige smooth foods. Now is so so much better (in her 20's) eats a good, healthy variety of foods.
I think 'fussiness' is mostly born not made, but can be exacerbated by circumstances, such as anxiety.

Strongmummy · 25/01/2018 15:04

Why do u care? You’ve said yourself you don’t have her over.

NoMoreUsernames · 25/01/2018 15:10

You know what drives me crazy? The term fussy eaters and the astounding ignorance on here regarding eating and sensory disorders in children. Children who severely limit their diet often have the medical condition ARFID. Go and educate yourselves before passing judgment. Here's a little article to get you started www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/what-exactly-arfid.