To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

Agree, Strange offer and strange to accept!

Maybe she thought the store was paying or you were allowing her to take the items for free?!

You weren't stupid you were really kind and the women was an Arsehole to take advantage like that!

If she went and picked up normal shopping I'd think she might be struggling financially,but no matter what she shouldn't have taken advantage of your kind offer your only 19 and she has children so I'm presuming a good few years age gap between you both she should have thought how she'd feel if someone did the same to one of her DC when they're 19.

The gift that you have for her at home would you be able to take it back to the shop and get the money back?

Could you maybe message her and say "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, when I said to grab a few bits I was expecting maybe a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates... then when you said your shopping came to over £70 I just froze and paid it because I didn't want to seem rude. But as you know, I'm a student and I really can't afford to let that money go. Would you mind sending it back, and I'll give you the present I originally picked out."

Failing that, I'd just tell all your colleagues exactly what happened as hopefully one of them will shame her nto paying you back, as a pp suggested.

I don't know why you're getting such a hard time on here OP, I think we've all had moments when we've failed to stand up to someone because we're just so stunned by the extent of their cheeky fuckery.

If you have nothing to lose, contact her.............
Dear CF ~ blah, blah...... when I suggested you pick up something for your birthday, I was expecting to pay for a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine as I valued the time I worked for you and wanted to wish you well.
I was too shocked to say anything to you when you arrived with a trolley full of shopping for your family, and felt pressured to pay for it.
I am only 19 and working part time. This has left me in serious financial difficulty.
I hope you valued our friendship at work enough to not leave me in this situation. It has been very difficult for me to write this.......but I hope you recognise I simply can not afford to give you £70.
I hope you can pop into .....to sort this out with me or that we can meet up ....blah blah

its rude but your a bit weird not to have said no. You should have just said you didnt have £70.

You need to grow a pair and not let someone treat you like a mug.

cross post with percy

Hi op, I'm presuming you're part time as you're a student?

How many hours would you have to work to cover the cost of the cheeky fuckers full trolley?

I'm sorry for all of the questions but they are genuine and not goady...

What figure did you have in mind to pay?

What was the set up re payment? I'm presuming you were at the checkout she came to, just wondering whether you would be allowed to have your bank card/cash with you or did you hang around whilst she did her epic shop and just pay?

I do find it an odd gift. I think you're vulnerable and have been taken advantage of. Did any other staff witness this?

You definitely need to be more assertive going forward. You simply cannot let people do this to you. Shame on her.

Ahhh OP. The rotten bitch. Message her and ask for your money back. A couple of bits doesn’t equate to a £70+ shop. Disgusting!

I’m fuming for you Lilac. It’s not spineless to be stunned by such outrageous behaviour.
You said you don’t have contact details for her but I think, given your age, it would be best to approach a supervisor for help here.

She’s either catastrophically misunderstood your offer (being extremely charitable), or hugely taken advantage of you.

Don’t feel too bad. Everyone’s been wrongfooted by cheeky fuckery at least once in their lives.

Please send the message that TickyTacky or PercyPig have suggested as she has majorly taken the piss with this and you were only trying to do something nice. You are not entitled to be so out of pocket for your gesture.
Please send the message.
In fact, you've nothing to lose by sending it and everything to gain!
Best of luck!!!

Oh no that's a massive pee take, poor thing really awks to say no and then you kick yourself after.
Yes she has shown herself up to be a liberty taker. Perhaps send her a txt polite but to the point that she has been very rude and grabby just to make peace with it?
I get the offer though - you meant it kindly and to just pick a bottle of wine, some chocs or a bunch of flowers etc, not to merrily walk around stocking up on the equivalent of a weekly shop. Especially shocking as she knows you're a student.

Send the message and tell all your colleagues how you’re not sure if you’ll be able to eat this month because of CF.

I don't think it's odd, I think it's a lovely gesture OP! I agree some nice chocolate or a wine is what I'd have assumed someone had picked.

In regards to the woman's behaviour... WTAF?

Just read you're only 19 and that has enraged me even more as I have a teenager and can see how awkward you must have felt and on the spot.
If she never intended for you to pay her whole shop then she shouldn't have accepted.
Genuinely interested - what was her reaction and how did she get you to pay for it?
Was she really thankful after and gave you a hug and off she went on her merry, cheeky way etc? Was you stood at the checkout waiting to pay?
Poor thing though, I feel for you. You are a kind person, don't let this one arsehole change the good in you. Most people are nice

OP - don't take TikkyTakky's advice as it includes giving your ex-colleague your bank details!!

I can’t even figure out how you did it. Did you go and do the shop with her? Did you stand at the till and pay on your card after she didnan entire shop?

She is indeed a CF. People like her don't worry about hurting feelings or treating people fairly. All they care about is what they can get for themselves out of every person and every situation.

She realised that you were young and less worldly than her, and she saw that as an opportunity to take the piss.

I bet other colleagues noticed, and thought that she acted appallingly.

Can I just add to Beeziekn33ze post, don't give bank details, this CF is likely to link it to all her direct debits!!

You need to ask her for some of this money back...she's taken the piss and she knows it

I would’ve said fuck off! Did she make you buy her fucking weekly shop? Outrageous!!!

Do you have a mutual colleague who would be prepared to have a word on your behalf? If I knew a young and generous student had been taken advantage of this way I'd be raring to have a word with the chancer and strongly suggest she give back at least £50 if not the lot. Taking advantage of a teenage student colleague to the amount of £70 is despicable. Disgraceful.

Maybe she thought you’d give her a tenner towards her shop which included wine but she also needed to do the food shop? Then when you paid £70 instead of giving her a tenner she thought .... wow she’s generous for a student?

OP I hope my teenagers are as kind and thoughtful as you are when they are 19. You're a student on a low income and you offered to do something generous for a colleague on her last day. I honestly think people as brazenly amoral as this woman are quite rare, and I don't blame you at all for just freezing in shock and horror and picking up the tab.

Not spineless, not a mug. A decent, kind person who got screwed by an arsehole with no shame.

This is the one thread I wished was a wind up but sadly I don’t think it is.

Op - sorry for you. You won’t ask for your money back because you seem kind and probably won’t want to embarrass her and yourself. Chalk it up as lesson learned. That lady knew exactly what she was doing. Awful behaviour.

Maybe she thought you’d give her a tenner towards her shop which included wine but she also needed to do the food shop? Then when you paid £70 instead of giving her a tenner she thought .... wow she’s generous for a student?

yeah, but surely any MORAL NORMAL person wouldn't accept that! I think it's kinda odd that a woman would pick her own present off a young girl she didn't know that well anyway - you'd just say not to worry!

OP, you sound really nice, at 19 I probably would've been unsure what to do in this situation. I think you should speak to one of your line managers about what happened. They may be able to contact you on behalf of the company. It sounds like quite bullyish behaviour from her.

Were you on the till at this point or did you do the shop with her?