To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

OP you're a sweet and lovely person, and if everyone (especially Ms CF!) was like you then this would never have happened... it's a hard lesson to learn and I hope it's one which doesn't taint your kind nature but does stop you being taken advantage of in the future

Op i am fuming on your behalf....what a nasty piece of work she is....at the very least text her telling her you are now sķint and hopefully it will shame the cf into doing the right thing !!!

What a CF even if she didn't intend OP to pay for the full shop initially then she should and could have said something when OP did.

OP I am sorry this has happened to you. Personally I wouldn't be able to talk to the manager about it as I'd be too embarrassed. If OP has anxiety and other issues then perhaps it's one to put down to experience.

I'm sorry - but I would second many others about being more assertive in future – or at least evasive -oh I forgot my purse of I’ll get something to you later and then forget about it.

I'd also think about telling your manager - though wouldn't expect to get money back.

I would try and work on the assertiveness which I know is easy to say. I was early 20s and still getting caught out even though I thought I'd overcome my issues.

Works do was being held in London and company was paying for room overnight partners were supposed to go and company admin did all the booking. I was asked for my boyfriend’s name for booking thought nothing of it.

Got there it was booked in his name –so it had to be paid of his card. He was a student – PhD so wasn’t happy and I had to pay him back as he’d come as a favour to me. Was then told couldn’t claim it back as bill was in boyfriend name.

I’d thought I’d misunderstood and felt so stupid and then found everyone else had rooms already pre-paid for so hadn’t even had to claim.

Everyone else got a £220 London hotel room for free I got a £220 bill.

Next year one I tried hard to duck out of but as closer this time had load of pressure applied about attendance – caved but avoided hotel room but ended up paying for taxis – found people who did same had taxi paid for.

I never went to another social thing again – and when I did trips and they tried to be funny about my carefully documented expenses I had £290 pound worth of resentment and made a fuss which did actract attention and it turned out vocal support for me from colleagues and bosses.

Hi Lilac

I agree with others that you should talk to your manager about this. It took place on the premises before she'd actually left - she was still employed and in position of power above you which she took advantage of. She exploited your good nature and your naiivity and she should not be allowed to get away with it.

Lesson learned op? Was a silly thing to do and she is a massive piss taker.😔

When I say naive I mean relatively young and inexperienced in workplace etiquette - I don't mean to offend you.

Why are people saying “well you can’t really ask for it back”?

Why not? Message her and ask for it back.

Why should CF get away with it?

Barbarian - I get that about advice. I really do. I also think that while the OP was trying to do a nice thing, she got her fingers burned. All of that said, she could still get some (if not all) of what she spent on this CF back, but only if she is a bit brave and sends the CF a text message.

What a nasty woman she is! I have met people like this before. I remember I once went on a night out with a couple of colleagues (my manager and her friend, different deparrment) when I was young and not very confident. My managers friend kept saying it was my round and making me buy expensive drinks while she got really cheap ones on hers. I went to the toilet with her and she picked up my lipgloss out of my open bag (new and expensive lipgloss which my sister had bought me for Christmas) she said 'oh that's nice, I will have that', laughed and just put it in her bag. I just laughed awkwardly as I wasn't sure if she was joking. Then she waltzed off with it. I should have gone and demanded it back. It is hard to speak up sometimes especially when someone takes you by surprise.
My manager was also vile by the way!

@SM2132
Speechless!

Sorry if you've already answered this but what did the person on the till, who presumably knows you both, say?? Did he or she not question why you were paying for her entire weekly shop?

Think op said they were at the self scanner

”I would message her, but because I wasn't specific, she'll easily just play dumb.”

@LilacBearberry - I don’t think you have anything to lose by messaging her. If she does play dumb, you won’t be any worse off financially, and she truly is not a friend to you, so you won’t have lost a friend, and she might just develop a conscience and pay you back.

Is there any way the colleague thought the free gift shop was from the whole company and you were the organiser?

Op, this isn't you being silly, this is you being taken advantage of by a CF. Please message her and try to get some money back. She's the one who should be embarrassed, not you.

Wow what an absolute cow. I feel really sorry for you. Id of just laughed and said haha good one I meant a bottle of wine or chocolates not a seventy quid shop, forget it.

You dont know her well enough to pop to her house with a gift. But she thinks she knows You well enough to cheeky fucker you out of £72. If you work in a supermarket why didn't you get her some chocs and wine,? She saw you coming didn't she..

I'd ask her for it back, quietly. If she declines or ignores you, I'd repeat the requst - on her Facebook wall. Just mention, casually, that you were actually being serious & that you'd meant for her to choose a bottle of wine or something, not a full weekly shop! Shame the cheeky cow.

I'm hoping the team leader is on here and reads the thread.

Messaging her isn't going to get the money back. That's pretty much a given.

Messaging her is about telling her that she was out of line, and that you know she was out of line. And to maybe make her feel a little bit embarrassed.

Nothing more nothing less - and it just might make you feel a bit better about it.

Op, I think you've got to get it out of your head that this is somehow your fault for not being "specific" enough. It is totally her fault and she took advantage. End of. So you don't to feel the least bit embarrassed - people like that try to make you feel embarrassed or guilty, or that somehow YOU are being unkind, or stingy, or stupid - they are emotionally manipulative.

Honestly this has got me so bloody riled up!
I'll phone her myself for you.
I can completely see why you paid, she was in a position of authority still, which makes it even worse.
Makes you question just how honest she was in her everyday role.
I hope she gets crabs 🦀

i didnt realise there was such a huge age difference between you. She was definitely absolutely a cheeky fucker. I am not sure what youll be able to do about it now, but she was definitely taking the piss.

No good deed goes unpunished

Perhaps a combination of 7234 are your lottery numbers for this week 😁