To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

You poor poor thing. Please let it go now though, the money is gone. Have a good cry and move on from it. You are a lovely young woman and she basically mugged you. I am 34 and in the last 10 years I have learnt the importance of sticking up for yourself, calling people out when they take the piss, amd saying no. Whenever you feel awkward, take a breath, and open your mouth to say 'hang on here'....

You have nothing to lose by doing what Rebel suggested. At the very least it will put it out there what an arsehole this woman has been

I hope she reads the thread and realises how she took advantage of you. She should be ashamed. What 40 year old woman does this to a 19 year old work colleague.

What a cheeky bitch. You have been well and truly mugged off OP. You're going to need to chalk this up as a lesson learned and practice being more assertive. Do feel free as a starting point, to contact her and let her know what a cheeky bitch she has been.

Adding my vote to speak to your manager about this. What a hateful woman.

£70 for a leaving gift is a lot but £70 for a life-long lesson in not being taken advantage of is pretty cheap. It is OK to feel awkward when standing up for yourself but practice makes it easier - and the more you do it, the less awkward you will feel.

OP, you need to ask for the money back. Don't let it slide!!

This is bloody insane. It's an expensive lesson but hopefully in the future you'll become rather familiar with the word 'no'. Or indeed 'fuck that'.

I would raise it with a manager. It is a work situation. You need someone older and wiser and more senior in the organization to write to her and ask for the money back.

She took advantage in work time on work premises in a work situation and used her seniority as a tool.

It's totally her fault..the correct response from a woman her age (same as me) would be 'that's lovely but don't be silly, you're a student'..I wouldn't have taken anything from you.

But you live and learn, you'll know for next time 😀

Ps. Totally agree with a pp regarding integrity.

Clearly this woman has none.

Shocked and disgusted by the tone/words used in some of these posts!
Believe it or not, social anxiety is a thing, just because YOU would have told her to "jog on, cheeky cow" etc and refused to pay, there are plenty of us out here who would feel so overwhelmingly embarrassed and awkward we would have done the same as the OP. Yes, we would also be fully aware it was a ridiculous thing to do, taking the piss, too much, cheeky af, but we focus too much on how WE are perceived in the situation or think it's our fault or that we offered so can't back out now. Sadly, we get used because we are too generous, and it is really easy for it to become a repeated mistake, someone taking more than you intended, even when you're conscious of it and have all the intentions of not being, so one of you so awfully put it, a "doormat".

The only, ONLY thing i can think that would redeem this woman even remotely, is that she isn't leaving by choice, and tried it on because shes a parent with kids she needs to feed and has just lost her job, and was desperate. It absolutely does NOT make her any less cheeky, and she's 100% a user and should be ashamed, but parents will do desperate things without shame to care for their kids.

Agree with some of your post almost, but,

That is a massive assumption to make.

Op has not suggested anything like this and I'm sorry but there is no excuse whatsoever for what this woman did to op.

OP I would have done the same at your age. I'm in my 30s and would still struggle.

Most decent people would actually have just declined your offer completely and thanked you for the lovely thought. I wouldn't have taken anything from you! If you'd really insisted, I'd buy a chocolate bar.

Don't feel bad; just move on.

OP - poor you. You made a lovely offer and an older woman cynically took advantage of you. Totally agree with KalaLaka; the decent thing to do would be to decline with grateful thanks, or to choose a token item. A bottle of wine at most. It's the equivalent of my small DD offering you a fruit pastille and your snatching the bag from her, tipping all the sweets in your pocket and giving her the empty bag back. Bloody awful woman. I hope she gets her comeuppance.

Does the OP have a diagnosed social anxiety disorder Almost ? I doubt it. I suspect she is struggling with the normal social anxiety that nice people (and especially women) feel in interactions with a social cheat (or CF as they're commonly known on here). Lots of people get taken in this way when young but there's no reason to think the OP can't learn from this. Most of us develop our tougher hides through exactly this sort of encounter.

LordSugar oh no, i agree totally it was absolutely no excuse, i was just wanting to maybe put it out there that despite how inexcusable it was, she might be in a desperate situation, and that is what has made her do something so indescribably awful to the OP. I just thought surely if OP has worked with her for 2 years, something would have come up prior surely if she was just an uncaring cheeky fucker who takes advantage because shes just like that?

People do inexcusable things when desperate.

Definitely a lesson learned.

I don't think there's much expectation for part-time staff to buy leaving presents at all, let alone for their full-time, older, better-paid soon-to-be ex-colleagues.

I worked for a supermarket for nearly 2 years. DH had worked there for 4 years by the time I left. So I had been around workers for a long time.
I gave 3 weeks notice and everyone knew I was leaving. ONE person said goodbye and I had no gift.

A few months later, someone else who started when I did was leaving. DH was asked to put in for a gift.. he said "no way". The gift included wine, flowers, chocolates and a £50 gift card for Next!

She most certainly was a CF! That's more than my shopping costs for family of 4 and a cat!

Really? Sorry, I cant believe this happened.

I don't agree with speaking to the manager. You said for her to get some bits she did and then you paid. Yeh it was a major piss take but I don't think this is the managers problem your not a child in school and the manager isn't the teacher. And asking for the money back would just be embarrassing! Surely if you was scared enough to not say no at the time how are you going to have the courage now to ask for the money back? That's a bigger deal IMO. Let it go.

@kaytee87 HR may well do what @TheRebel suggested this morning. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'd be like a terrier with a rag over such awful behaviour.

ThisLittleKitty, But it was embarrassment that caused op to pay for the shop in the first place, so surely she should not let embarrassment stop her from trying to get it back.

And it is the woman who should be feeling embarrassed. Op has nothing to feel embarrassed about.

I agree with what @TheRebl suggested. It's unlikely you'll get any money back, but that's not the point. You were silent the first time round, you should make your voice heard this time.