Would it BU to ask the teacher to remind DD to go to the loo before hometime?

[Natsku]

DD nearly always forgets to go to a wee before she leaves school and then she ends up desperately needing it while on the walk home and the last few days she's come home soaked from wetting herself (which is not just unpleasant for her but verging on dangerous as I expect walking in wet clothes increases the risks of hypothermia and it's been -15 lately in the afternoons)

I'm not there to remind her myself as she walks alone and I just physically can't go to pick her up at the moment because my SPD is too bad and no amount of reminding her in the morning seems to help her remember by hometime, but I'm worried it would be a bit unreasonable to ask the teacher to take responsibility for reminding her as she is probably very busy at hometime and I don't want to be that parent (I'm worried I already am for some other reasons and don't want to be more of a bother) but fed up of washing DD's snowsuit every day and her skin on her inner thighs is getting really sore from the wee and the wet trousers rubbing on her.

But she isn’t walking on her own, she is walking with a group of friends, as the OP has said

Oh my fucking God!!

Op I’m very jealous of your life in Finland!
A quick trip to the docs maybe, but I’d ask the teacher-no harm in asking.

So children who aren't capable of doing these walks, their parents are considered lacking and/or the child would be considered developmentally delayed? Sounds like the Finnish are a rather judgmental people.

The problem with things being cultural norms is that the feelings of a child can be overlooked ( I know from experience).
How does your dd feel about the long walk and weeing in her clothes and having to walk in -15 cold in wet clothes?

Yes children in Finland make their own way to and from school but I never knew of any 6 year olds that walked for an hour in that cold to and from school alone, that seems quite strange to me. Short walks yes, but not an hour.

Yes children in Finland make their own way to and from school but I never knew of any 6 year olds that walked for an hour in that cold to and from school alone, that seems quite strange to me. Short walks yes, but not an hour.

Same here. I lived in Germany for most of my early years and it's a similar culture there but no one did those distances or for that length of time, not at that age.

I am struggling to see why if my pupils can hold it until breaks. Why can't your daughter wait 40 minutes until she is home?

As others have said if she’s old enough to walk home alone in the freezing cold she’s old enough to go to the toilet. If she wets herself maybe she won’t do it again.

I teach Reception. We do things like this all the time. It's totally fine. Don't be frightened to ask the teacher things like this. We often have our own little ones x

Trouble is, she has done it more than once. It sounds like she isn't able to hold it in, she wouldn't want to walk home in the cold with her clothes wet after wetting herself. And after going to the toilet before leaving school. Which is why it sounds like a possible physical problem.

Just ask the teacher. The children in my class are 6 & 7 years old. I have all sorts of requests. If it helps the child I have absolutely no problem doing it. It wouldn’t take much to give a reminder each day.

On another note that is an awfully long walk for your child. Can’t imagine any of my kids walking for so long alone. Can she not get a lift with another child from the school at least half way? Having said that I love in London so completely different culture and level of safety I’m guessing.

OP have you cancelled the cheque?

@user1483875094 IF YOU WANT TO "UNDERSTAND THIS" RTFT!

user1483875094 read the thread!

'sounds like the Finnish are a rather judgmental people'

In the context of this thread, that's definitely a contender for 'most ironic post of the week' Honestly, look for the beam in your own eye...

Could she use a shewee on her way if desperate..? No need to strip off and easy to use with your zip down once you get the hang of it..! Boys have all the fun peeing standing up.. I love my shewee

Not unreasonable when I taught I would have tried to help out and remember but sometimes the end of the day can be frantic do the may forget occasionally

Lord, walking alone at 7. You could not imagine living in the UK.

Thinking about this with my psychotherapist hat on, I wonder if the soiling could be an unconscious message around her readiness to do the journey alone? Although it might the cultural norm she may feel not capable at the moment but unable to admit this to you or herself, with an awareness of your current mobility difficulties.

Crawling back to the Winnicott now....

I always need to pee when it's cold.

I also get into a habit of peeing at certain times or situations. Eg it doesn't matter how little I drink, how often I pee, or what time I go to bed, as soon as I turn off the light/put my phone down, I need to get up for a wee. Maybe she's just got into a habit of needing a wee on the way home?

Also OP, I'm very intrigued by the GPS tracker you have - which one is it and is it good?!

mangar I love my shewee, it's always in my handbag!

Maybe look at getting her a shewee, mine comes in very handy on long walks, no more squatting in bushes!

That's it. I'm moving to Finland!

Agree with sallywinter. She could be worrying about the journey or the baby and doesn't know how to talk about it.

It could also be linked to the constipation or a UTI. My DS (7 next week) had a UTI that didn't display any symptoms other than he constantly needed the toilet and was wetting himself. Only found out when the Dr dipped his wee.

Also I teach reception. A lot of parents ask us to remind there LO to go to the toilet so now it's part of our routine. Go to the toilet, get your coat and bag then get ready to go home