Would it BU to ask the teacher to remind DD to go to the loo before hometime?

[Natsku]

DD nearly always forgets to go to a wee before she leaves school and then she ends up desperately needing it while on the walk home and the last few days she's come home soaked from wetting herself (which is not just unpleasant for her but verging on dangerous as I expect walking in wet clothes increases the risks of hypothermia and it's been -15 lately in the afternoons)

I'm not there to remind her myself as she walks alone and I just physically can't go to pick her up at the moment because my SPD is too bad and no amount of reminding her in the morning seems to help her remember by hometime, but I'm worried it would be a bit unreasonable to ask the teacher to take responsibility for reminding her as she is probably very busy at hometime and I don't want to be that parent (I'm worried I already am for some other reasons and don't want to be more of a bother) but fed up of washing DD's snowsuit every day and her skin on her inner thighs is getting really sore from the wee and the wet trousers rubbing on her.

Apologies OP. I misinterpreted your posts. It was only two majorly traumatic experiences for a child under 5. That's alright then.

Can I suggest that rather than basing your decision on when to stop walking her to school on her "wants" you base it on her "needs". You are the adult in this relationship and as such are obliged to make the decisions on how to keep your child safe.

Again, I'll listen to the professionals that live here on that matter.

Yes but the state in Finland is going to tell you it’s perfectly safe because it is the narrative of idyllic Finland where dc can roam like it’s the 1950s but as you have already found out, there are people in Finland that want to take dc - whatever their reasoning. If they admitted it was no different than anywhere else they’d have to do something about the lack of childcare provision.

I’m having physio for my spd and my baby is 1. I could probably have made myself walk your school run 6 months in but I did have a cs as well so that didn’t help matters. Apparently it’s very uncommon not to make a full and immediate recovery but post natal health in the U.K. is shocking so they might just be saying that - Finland may be better.

Well her dad wanted to take her, that's rather understandable. The man wasn't trying to take her, he was trying to lead her to where he thought she must live. There are always going to be people that do want to take children with bad intentions but they are extremely rare, not just here, stranger abductions are rare in the UK too. It's not pretending it's the idyllic 50s, it's having a realistic understanding on what are actual risks - I'm putting DD at much more risk by having her driven to school in the mornings, not just immediate risk of car accidents but long term risk of diminishing her health. Right now that risk is worth it because of her fears (risk of damaging her mental health for instance) but once those fears are gone then that risk isn't worth it any more.

Ok hopefully then I will make an immediate recovery, even if it's not complete but if it's not worse than it is now or hopefully a bit better then I should be able to manage it. Though that depends on how carrying baby in the baby carrier affects things. Been having contractions all night so hopefully won't be much longer now!

I'm with WhoWhatWhy and have already posted my views re sending a wee 6 year old off to school on her own through a forest, particularly a child who has had two scares already.
I am and have been since the first post.

For those that wanted to know, baby was born yesterday.

Congratulations! Enjoy your gorgeous new bundle ☺️

Congratulations.

Yay! Congratulations! How are you feeling?

Congratulations OP! X

Felt like shit yesterday but got a blood transfusion and antibiotics through the night so hoping I'll feel better today.

Congratulations! Wishing you a speedy recovery

Congratulations!

Cheers

Congratulations! I've been reading this thread out loud to my family as we're very much of the opinion that it's a parent's job to teach the FC to be independent. We've been fascinated and a bit envious of how different it is in Finland.

I hope you're well and DD enjoys her baby sibling.

Congratulations, @Natsku

My primary role as her mum is to raise her into a competent adult... If I were to wait until she were 'old enough to protect herself properly' I'd be waiting forever because even adults very often can't protect themselves against someone who wishes to do them harm but we all recognise how ridiculous it would be to walk a teenager to school for example, instead we recognise that we need to balance risk with benefit and the benefits of gaining independence at the same rate as her peers are important while the risks, the actual statistical risks, are small.

Well said, OP.

And congrats!

Cheers michaelbendfaster I keep that goal in mind when making decisions but have to remember not to rush her either.

In good news my hips and pelvis are feeling fine so hopefully I'll be able to walk next week.