Would it BU to ask the teacher to remind DD to go to the loo before hometime?

[Natsku]

DD nearly always forgets to go to a wee before she leaves school and then she ends up desperately needing it while on the walk home and the last few days she's come home soaked from wetting herself (which is not just unpleasant for her but verging on dangerous as I expect walking in wet clothes increases the risks of hypothermia and it's been -15 lately in the afternoons)

I'm not there to remind her myself as she walks alone and I just physically can't go to pick her up at the moment because my SPD is too bad and no amount of reminding her in the morning seems to help her remember by hometime, but I'm worried it would be a bit unreasonable to ask the teacher to take responsibility for reminding her as she is probably very busy at hometime and I don't want to be that parent (I'm worried I already am for some other reasons and don't want to be more of a bother) but fed up of washing DD's snowsuit every day and her skin on her inner thighs is getting really sore from the wee and the wet trousers rubbing on her.

Has anyone asked why she is old enough to walk home if she can’t remember to go to the toilet yet?

I cannot believe a six year old cannot remember to go for a wee. My class are not allowed to go to the toilet in lessons so they have to remember.

I love Finland, certainly not surprised that a 6 year old walks home on her own. Children there in my experience are incredibly well behaved, sporty and active. It's a wonderful example of a 'village raising a child'.

Why doesnt she just go behing a bush or crouch down to have a wee if caught short?. I struggle with a child of that age just weeing herself all the time.
I think I'd take her to the G.Ps as well. To me it doesnt seem right.

OP has already explained about the layers & snowsuit so it’s easy to crouch down behind a bush

NOT easy. Bloody phone

O.K sorry.

I wouldn't be getting my privates out for an al fresco wee in -15 degrees!

Has anyone asked why she is old enough to walk home if she can’t remember to go to the toilet yet?

No, I don't think anyone has

I think doctor is a good idea, will see how tomorrow goes anyway, at least she did remember to go to the loo this time so some improvement there at least.

I think I'd say to her that shes old enough to remember really. What about getting her to wear a nappy if she continues? its better than her weeing herself and getting soaked through.

Nothing to add to help but I’m just enjoying popping back on this thread to see more “how old is she to be walking alone but weeping herself?!” Comments! You are taking them very well OP! Also think Finland sounds marvellous. We live very close to DS school so hope he will be able to go alone sooner than secondary school! I walked alone from 8 I think though my parents could practically see me the whole way. I would just talk to the teacher and see if she could prompt her to go before she gets into her outdoor things.

How on earth would she remember to put a nappy on if she can't remember to go to the toilet?

I haven't read the whole thread, but can't see a problem with asking the teacher to remind your DD. I doubt she needs a doctor, or nappies, just likely she forgets in the excitement of getting out for the day. I can't see any caring teacher having a problem with reminding her considering her young age and the distance from home.

I have a 6 year old DD. Being desperate for a wee on the way home is pretty standard with her and her classmates. They all hate missing out on playtime / the school toilets.

I don't think asking teacher to help out with this is unreasonable.

Can her and a couple of friends be encouraged to have a 'toilet time' before they leave and all go together?
If it becomes routine with a group of friends I'm sure one of them will remember and prompt the others.
Or pop a smily face sticker or something on her bag and coat and tell her when she sees it at home time that will make her think about popping to the loo before she leaves.
It's fine to ask a teacher to remind them too.
I had to ask that today as a 4yr old i look after spends thurs afternoons outdoors at school and the last two weeks has wet himself. Not sure why he didn't take himself to the toilet! Poss he felt he couldn't if he was outdoors, or more likely couldn't be bothered or found it more tricky with his outdoor kit on. But he was dry today! 😀

I think Finland, and the lifestyle, sound fabulous, OP. Giving such independence in a safe environment, you're raising your DD to cope and be self-sufficient. My 3 boys would love to ski/ board to school, they're very outdoorsy and we don't get nearly enough snow here in central Scotland ( it was wonderful recently!).
. I'd be joining u in Finland if it wasn't for eldest being halfway through senior school! I'd love it! I've long hankered after a society that let's kids be kids and have no formal schooling until age 7. I'm a teacher and think it really is the way to go.
for your SPD.

Lets not let's! Stupid phone!

Pop it in her reading diary or whatever you use for communication. We are asked this a lot and we try our best to remember and remind the children, eventually, she will just go without being asked.

7 years old and a 40 minute walk????? Sounds very irresponsible to me!

People are silly not reading the whole thread or just using their brain boxes a bit, it’s clear the OP isn’t in the uk from the first post. Ah well.

Finland is such a healthy and sensible place, I love it and wish my DS could have experienced it’s childhood, but now we are stuck in London and we make do with what we have. It has its advantages I know.

Anyway, instead of us second guessing the teacher, can you discuss it directly with your dd’s teacher? I think we’ve established that it wouldn’t be awful to raise the subject, and only the teacher themselves will be able to answer how they personally can help.

I think you’re doing the right thing making sure the constipation is well and truly sorted, and maybe you can check out the possibility of a urinary infection just in case?

Good luck!

Finland sounds really idyllic and what great fun going skiing with dad - quality of life right there!
Only wanted to add, maybe she has a water infection / uti - peeing often and getting sudden urgency to go / caught short can be a symptom, as it doesn't always have to be painful to be one (not in my experience anyway)

7 years old and a 40 minute walk????? Sounds very irresponsible to me!

And the award for most missing context and the point goes to....

I don’t agree with a 7yo walking home alone for an hour or even 10 mins tbh but that’s your choice. But if she does walk home alone then she should definitely have a mobile.
I don’t want to sound disrespectful but if she can’t remind herself to go to the toilet and is urinating herself on the way home then I think that is a good indication that she is too young to walk home alone.

I think your lifestyle is wonderful and your dd very lucky. Fantastic she can walk to school.

What about using a jacket and sallopettes for a while so she can quickly take the trousers only down- wee and carry on. You can also get sallopettes with a drop seat or zippered from the fly underneath and up back so you could wee (a bit of a faff and would need practise) but this stuff does exist.

Having said that a nearly shat myself on the way home from work because I didn’t go before I left.

Sorry, trying to understand this... "snow suit?" Do you live in the Uk? Does your little girl have to change into a "snow suit to walk home?" (in which case this would be the ideal time to go and spend a penny before walking home alone. How old is she? Is she old enough to be changing into a snow suit, and walking home alone?