Would it BU to ask the teacher to remind DD to go to the loo before hometime?

[Natsku]

DD nearly always forgets to go to a wee before she leaves school and then she ends up desperately needing it while on the walk home and the last few days she's come home soaked from wetting herself (which is not just unpleasant for her but verging on dangerous as I expect walking in wet clothes increases the risks of hypothermia and it's been -15 lately in the afternoons)

I'm not there to remind her myself as she walks alone and I just physically can't go to pick her up at the moment because my SPD is too bad and no amount of reminding her in the morning seems to help her remember by hometime, but I'm worried it would be a bit unreasonable to ask the teacher to take responsibility for reminding her as she is probably very busy at hometime and I don't want to be that parent (I'm worried I already am for some other reasons and don't want to be more of a bother) but fed up of washing DD's snowsuit every day and her skin on her inner thighs is getting really sore from the wee and the wet trousers rubbing on her.

OP, I think your motivation here is about your own issues with the new baby and that is not at all fair on your dd. I would never have put my child in that position but if I did and she wet herself as you describe I would stop immediately. Your daughter is silently telling you that she's not happy. Listen to her.

DD has a social worker (custody issues with her bio-dad) actually and I told her and the rest of the team about my plan for her to walk alone before she started school and they said it was fine, that she was the right age for it and it was good time to start building up her independence. Even told them that two days a week she'd be going home to an empty house (I worked until 2 o'clock so would get home about half an hour after her on work days but ended up stopping working early on because of the SPD) and they had no issues with that either (she coped fine with that too, we had no issues even on days when I had appointments so she was home alone for longer. She chose to stay home today when me and OH went to the shops actually). This is not the UK goodomens SS don't see a problem with this kind of thing.

A 7 year old is walking through a forest alone every day.
Her movements could be monitored by someone with evil intent.
Jesus wept.

But your daughter isn't happy though OP. She's wetting herself. I can't believe that you've now added that she is walking all that way home to an empty house. Seriously, at that age, that is not good OP. I don't care what SS have told you. I couldn't imagine doing that and I'm amazed that you are so cool about it just because it's Scandinavia.

Why does she need to be independent aged 6?! I'm finding this all totally mind boggling.

The traffic would be the least of my worries.
A little girl walks through a forest alone every day.
I truly thought I had misread your op.
I haven't.
I don't care where you live, that is just not on.
Paedos, child killers can be anywhere.
Awful case here in Ireland at the moment.
Online sexual predator of girls aged 9.

I think your DD is telling you that she can't cope with this by wetting herself, OP. The fact she's wetting herself should be enough to make that clear.

I care what SS told me though, they are professionals after all with a lot of experience.
She's not walking home to an empty house any more, I stopped working in October.

It's the idea of building up the independence now ThroughThick before it has to be suddenly thrust upon a child and they are expected to be quite independent from a much younger age here because of the reasons I explained earlier (school times meaning they're on their own for several hours if both parents work which is the norm), it's not like the UK, there's no childminders to look after school age children and holiday clubs are rare (non-existent in this town) so you need to start the process as soon as they're past daycare age which is 6 otherwise they're going to be suddenly on their own for hours with no preparation for how to cope and that's not good.

Forests aren't magically dangerous holly, the chances of a stranger hurting her are extremely small, I might as well be worried about a bear eating her or an eagle swooping down and pecking out her eyes.

Wow those poor Finnish children! All those hours alone at home from such a young age. I had no idea.

No strangers, just witches and monsters

Children were trusted like this 35-40 years ago in the UK. Small children can be very responsible and self sufficient if they are encouraged to be.

7-year olds walking home alone is the norm in many European countries. There really aren't predators lurking behind every tree in a Finnish forest.

Natsku it really does sound like she's worried about the new baby - I have about the same age difference with my younger sister and I was quite upset when she was born and I was suddenly invisible. Sauna and a chat sounds like a lovely idea.

Oh god, please don't listen to this bollocks natsku. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves with the scaremongering paedophiles round every corner rubbish. Its because of parenting like yours that our kids in the UK grow up the unhappiest in Europe, and it doesn't just affect your own kids, all of us suffer from this bonkers paranoia of yours and the climate of fear it creates. The irony is that every time you stick your kids in the car, they run an exponentially higher risk of dying than being being murdered by a stranger. Your skewed risk perception increases the risk to your kids overall, through car use, lack of exercise, lack of ability to manage risk, and levels of anxiety. This makes me so fucking cross.

Also, do online sexual predators haunt forests? Doesn't that example rather suggest that the internet, used while your kids are supposedly safe at home, is a rather bigger danger than a remote Finnish forest?!!!

I think this child faces lots of risks on that walk home and, previously, the subsequent time alone in the house. Even tripping up and hurting herself could leave her outside in cold temperatures with no one particularly caring that she's not home on time.

Quite often the children take turns going to a friend's house/having a friend round theirs so they aren't completely alone, or they have siblings with them ThroughThick DD's friend (who is home alone or with his brother most days for two hours after school) for instance will very often come to ours to play after school or DD will go to his so they keep each other company.

Definitely witches and monsters in the forest, got to watch out for those, and of course the forest tonttus (elves).

I really don't want her to feel suddenly invisible katharina that's so sad :(

That doesn't sound so bad then. Very different to here.

Agreed frogsoup much more risk to children in driving them around and keeping them relatively inactive because they don't have independent mobility and then the big increase in risk when they suddenly get allowed freedom without building it up slowly first.

I always cared that she got home on time Whowhatwhy I followed her journey on my phone via GPS while I was at work to make sure she got back, same as I follow it every morning to make sure she arrives at school.

The problem seems to be that there’s no provision for after school care for this age group so the children are expected to look after themselves. And no one bats an eyelid that 6 year olds walk an hour in the dark and freezing cold because they are ‘independent’.

Social services aren’t really going to say it’s unacceptable because they know parents need to work, there’s no buses and no childcare.

There’s a lot that great about Finland but also stuff that’s not so great, just like everywhere else.

Some narrow minded people on here. Boggling at the comments about forests as though OP’s daughter is in a fairy tale.

You lot, get on google maps and look at how far 2k actually is. My local park is apparently 1k away from here. It’s barely any distance. I go there (and back) most days.

I’m a teacher and I do this- especially with the children that have issues.

Frogsoup
I did state at the end of my post that the case I referred to at the moment in Ireland was an online case, differring obviously to a predator watching a child walking home alone ( possibly to an empty house) through a forest at seven years of age.
I just would not allow my children to do that and know none of my friends would allow it either.
But perhaps Finland is very different to Ireland.
I

Most parents in Finland, Sweden, Estonia, Denmark, Switzerland and many other countries would not only allow, but expect that a 7-year old would be able to walk home from school at that age.