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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter is having noisy sex

171 replies

Smarmydrippings · 21/01/2018 22:13

I don't know how to cope with this. She is 27.
On the one hand I'm so happy she feels so comfortable in her sexually. Like go on lovey.
On the other I really don't want to actually hear it.
How would you deal with this?
Help me Mumsnet.

OP posts:
FlouncyDoves · 23/01/2018 18:27

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t have noisy sex back. Just finger blast the fuck out of yourself.

Onecutefox · 23/01/2018 18:35

Record them and set it as an alarm clock.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/01/2018 18:37

My parents don’t know I have sex (apart from getting pregnant). She is very rude.

Onecutefox · 23/01/2018 18:39

Is your daughter otherwise alright as I would have found it's quite upsetting and revolting my own child would have such loud sex it would be heard by other people and in this case by a parent.

MarvellousMonsters · 23/01/2018 18:41
blaukop · 23/01/2018 18:43

I'm sorry, I can't understand this - on the one hand, you're annoyed at the noise in your home, and then on the other hand, you're saying that she's a woman who needs to enjoy her own home! Sorry? It's you're home, she's living with you because she can't get on the property ladder, so perhaps she should start thinking about how lucky she is to be able to live at home still, and STFU!!

justifiede · 23/01/2018 18:45

Why are you so proud of your daughter having loud sex?
I have loud sex and if my mother was proud of me for it i would go no contact after that.

ktp100 · 23/01/2018 18:55

Would she & her boyfriend be comfortable with you spending noisy you time with a ramoant rabbit while they were there? No? I'd be telling her to get over herself and setting some firm boundaries going forward.

ktp100 · 23/01/2018 18:56

Rampant 😁

WeAllHaveWings · 23/01/2018 19:18

excessively noisy sex does not equal comfortable with her own sexuality, it’s faking it and slightly deviant when she knows damn well her single mum is downstairs cringing and laughing to her bf about it.

Tell her to quieten down, show some respect or shag somewhere else.

NewUser24 · 23/01/2018 19:47

Think you need to have a girly chat about it

samqueens · 23/01/2018 19:56

OP I think you sound like a great Mum - your daughter obviously feels very accepted for who she is and I think that’s an amazing achievement and really sweet of you to worry about this from her POV as well as yours in terms of broaching it.

You seem to have a pretty open dialogue with her so I wouldn’t be afraid to mention it. You could always say, while you’re really glad she’s so happy and confident with her sexuality (and that she has a boyfriend who knows what he’s doing too!), perhaps she might reserve the really noisy sex for times when you’re not around...
perhaps that you’re happy to let her know what time to expect you home every now and again, so they can fully enjoy their privacy when they have it!

I think you deserve a pat on the back for having a relationship with your daughter which means she’s happy still living at home as an adult (even if it’s partly needs must).

GinghamStyle · 23/01/2018 19:57

urg, my sister used to do this when she lived at home, though she was a bit younger. It was a fingers-up to my mum and I know that she hated it but didn't feel that she could say anything. It's so disrespectful. Besides, who the fuck wants their mum to hear them having sex??! I'm happy in my sexuality and love some good noisy sex but I'd never dream of doing it where my mum (or my boyfriend's mum) can hear us. He even tells me off for making the odd moan when we kiss incase his mum hears when she's in!

MsJudgemental · 23/01/2018 20:00

It’s disrespectful. Knowing someone’s having sex and actually hearing it are two different things. Tell her to shut up or move out.

samqueens · 23/01/2018 20:02

I also expect she brought it up at breakfast to gauge how much you heard and she probably doesn’t realise the extent of it...
most people that age wouldn’t really think about it.
I also get that you’re not saying this is your favourite thing about your daughter - but your post makes it clear that you are not prudish about it either and that is a good thing.
I’m sure she’d find a happy medium if you mentioned it to her

Beezley · 23/01/2018 20:06

Complete lack of respect for you.

lilly0 · 23/01/2018 20:27

Yuck I wouldn't dare Blush I moved out at 18. I'm 24 now , she needs to move out it's YOUR house it's not a shag pad. Tell her to be quiet it's taking the piss

PercyPigAddict · 23/01/2018 20:48

I can't believe there's more shock and horror at a 27 year old living at home than having noisy sex her mum can hear. You do know that, at last count, one in four people aged 20 - 34 live at home, right? Even though everyone on mumsnet bought a flat in London when they were 12 and have been living independently ever since Hmm, that doesn't mean it's a fair reflection of the average person in the UK.

BlackberryandNettle · 23/01/2018 21:20

I'd have a word, along the lines of it's great that they're enjoying themselves but everybody else would rather not have to listen to it. I doubt she'd want to hear you at it?

klw777 · 23/01/2018 21:37

Hide in her room and play a fanfare with a standing ovation when she finishes 😒

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 23/01/2018 22:05

That’s inconsiderate and not funny for you. I’d ask her to be considerate or go elsewhere.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 23/01/2018 22:11

Also she’s hardly a teenager rebelling. Bloody rude in your own home, it’s not actually her house.

Geordie1944 · 23/01/2018 22:16

Why are you threatened by your daughter's sexuality?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 23/01/2018 22:19

Geordie1944 Did the Op say that?

Mishappening · 23/01/2018 22:26

It is your home - she is very lucky to be there. Tell her to pipe down.

I find it bizarre that she knows you can hear and is entirely happy with that. Just tell her that you are not happy.

My DDs used to have their boyfriends there, but I never heard a thing - they had more respect for their parents than to risk making them feel uncomfortable.

Your DD is taking the piss - away with her!