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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter is having noisy sex

171 replies

Smarmydrippings · 21/01/2018 22:13

I don't know how to cope with this. She is 27.
On the one hand I'm so happy she feels so comfortable in her sexually. Like go on lovey.
On the other I really don't want to actually hear it.
How would you deal with this?
Help me Mumsnet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smarmydrippings · 21/01/2018 22:21

I'm very single so a noise off is not an option. Sadly.

OP posts:
Mxyzptlk · 21/01/2018 22:22

I think it has to be loud music.
Is she aware of how much you can hear?

ajandjjmum · 21/01/2018 22:22

A girl I know asked her parents if her boyfriend could stay over (late teens), and her Dad replied 'yes, but please remember that your Mum and I have used discretion over the past 20 years, and we expect the same courtesy from you'.

I loved it!

Ellendegeneres · 21/01/2018 22:22

Aw man the only thing worse is hearing your mum have noisy sex.
Slap slap slap. Her moaning then screaming.
I ended up loudly applauding and saying could you lot hurry up I’ve got my GCSE’s in the morning.

I moved out before I turned 18 and never looked back 😖

Ellendegeneres · 21/01/2018 22:23

Oh and Mum, if you’re reading this (and come over from nethuns) that still gives me nightmares. Still. Over a decade later

Sparklesocks · 21/01/2018 22:23

It’s incredibly disrespectful from her! You should play loud music or clatter around loudly outside.

Tbh I think it’s weird she isn’t mortified by her Mum hearing her..most people would be!

Maverick66 · 21/01/2018 22:23

Good one ajandjjmum.
Op your daughter needs to be a little more discreet!

FurCoatFurKnickers · 21/01/2018 22:25

Record it on your phone and play to back to her. If she does it again go a step further and have it as one of those Facebook live feeds.

Just kidding. Speak to her about it and say you don't like it so either shag quietly or feck off to her boyfriend's house next time.

MakeItStopNeville · 21/01/2018 22:26

She's 27 and having loud sex. It's time for her to move out. She doesn't have to live in expensive West London just because you do, you know! Grin

KendalMintCakey · 21/01/2018 22:26

also lmao @ Porn Hub - she will soon move out! I moved out at 18 -

Yukbuck · 21/01/2018 22:26

Oh that is annoying. I caught my parents once. It was mortifying . Would hate for my parents to hear Me!
And to everyone moaning at the ops daughter living at home... seriously get over it. It is HARD to afford to rent or save to buy these days. Times are changing! Yes.. you might be in your 20s and own a property but everyone's circumstances are different.

AnyFucker · 21/01/2018 22:28

This reply has been deleted

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GabsAlot · 21/01/2018 22:28

does everyone know how much it is just to put a deposit down on some places- u need 2k in london just for that!

ronniescue · 21/01/2018 22:29

I'm honestly at a loss as to how to adress the issue.

Surely not? You don't know how to ask her to be quiet when she is shagging?!

'Hi DD, can you please be a bit more considerate of noise when having sex, I don't want to hear it'

Cindie943811A · 21/01/2018 22:29

She is the one who ought to be playing music and to be keeping her volume down below that. OP tell her it is disrespectful to make you listen to her activities, that she needs to keep it down or spend the night at an hotel or pay for you to go out for the evening.
Or you could attend a hobby class you’ve always wanted to attend etc and tell her she’s got that one evening to have her b/f home. In the summer erect a tent in the garden for her.
Good luck

Agerbilatemycardigan · 21/01/2018 22:30

Stick some AC/DC on

retirednow · 21/01/2018 22:31

Ask her to quieten down and put up a thick curtain on the inside of her bedroom door. Cant she go and stay at her partners house. Invest in a box of earplugsAngry

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/01/2018 22:32

That sounds horrendous. If this were a housemate in a flat share it would also be a bit rude. I do like what ajandjjmum said upthread.

Carouselfish · 21/01/2018 22:32

I visited my 70 year old aunt for a week once and heard a lot of...enjoyment...coming through her walls one morning.
It was her house though.
Tell DD to keep it down.

Original poster
Smarmydrippings · 21/01/2018 22:33

Hmm mm.
I'm sort of happy that I've raised her to be comfortable with her sexuality. And that she feels she can be herself in her home. It's something that makes me feel I'm a good enough mum.
She is fully aware I can hear her. She mentioned it casually over morning coffee and laughed that her BF felt a bit uncomfortable at the fact I must hear them.

I might sort have answered my own question there.

It's my issue and I should be able to cope with this. She is a woman in her own home and entitled to enjoy life in every way she can.
I'll get earphones.

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 21/01/2018 22:35

Have a face to face .... tell her if she can’t be quieter, next time she starts to make a noise you will come into the room and see what the feck is going on.

Kpo58 · 21/01/2018 22:35

Play a loud recording of around of applause at a suitable point during or just after the noise?

TattyCat · 21/01/2018 22:35

If she's still living with you at 27 and so very much an adult, why the devil can't you TELL her to put a sock in it (or less politely, perhaps).

If I'd ever done that at my parent's house I'd never have been allowed back and I'd have been told how disgusting and shameful I was! Quite right too.

KendalMintCakey · 21/01/2018 22:36

She can be comfortable with her sexuality and noisy under her own roof. I'd a four year old, a job and my own home at 27. All solo! 27 is too old to be at home.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 21/01/2018 22:36

The louder it is the more fake it is (usually).