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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My daughter is having noisy sex

171 replies

Smarmydrippings · 21/01/2018 22:13

I don't know how to cope with this. She is 27.
On the one hand I'm so happy she feels so comfortable in her sexually. Like go on lovey.
On the other I really don't want to actually hear it.
How would you deal with this?
Help me Mumsnet.

OP posts:
vwlphb · 22/01/2018 08:55

Mum: Jess, could you grab some milk on the way home please? We’re nearly out.
Jess: [scrolling through phone] Sure, Mum.
Mum: Also, can you keep the noise when you’re banging down to a low roar please. I felt like I was watching the 50 Shades trilogy back-to-back with the volume stuck on high last night.
Jess: ....
Mum: ....
Jess: ....
Mum: Thanks, love. Also some digestive biscuits if you’re going to be at the shop.

candypanda · 22/01/2018 08:55

And why are you proud of her being so "comfortable"? Are you just someone out for weird sex tales? This whole situation makes me feel ill.

Yellowjello · 22/01/2018 08:58

don't be this. Your house your rules

My daughter is having noisy sex
FissionChips · 22/01/2018 08:59

It probably turns your daughter on to know you can hear her, why else would she do it? . Grim.

namechange2222 · 22/01/2018 09:00

My daughter was only about 20 ( juts before she left home for her own flat!) and I was sitting in the garden one summer morning. Her bedroom backed on to the garden and I clearly heard her and her bf having sex. She was clearly unaware as would never have consciously been so disrespectful. I went in doors and once she was up just mentioned that she was probably unaware but I could hear her if sitting in the garden. It was no big deal for either of us and it never happened again. Can't for the life of me imagine writing about it on a forum at the time!

mummmy2017 · 22/01/2018 09:04

DD would wonder who mum had hidden in the room, it would drive her nuts

PaintingOwls · 22/01/2018 09:05

Play Lonely Island's "I just had sex" on a loop, that should dampen the mood...

BhajiAllTheWay · 22/01/2018 10:04

Odd. This isn't right is it? Fine that she enjoys it but I can't think of anyone who would want to be overheard dtd. Unless they got an extra kick out of it. Hate to say that cos you're her mum but she's obviously deriving some pay off. Definately needs to move out.

PiffleandWiffle · 22/01/2018 10:36

She mentioned it casually over morning coffee and laughed that her BF felt a bit uncomfortable at the fact I must hear them.

That's pretty off actually - it was the perfect time to say "I really don't want to hear it thanks".

I'd honestly start banging on the door when she's doing it - or how about recording it on your phone & then playing it over breakfast???

She's either doing it for kicks or because she's a twat....

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 22/01/2018 11:07

This isn't about the daughters age, or how she should move out because you moved out well before the age of 27!
It's about the fact the daughter is having extremley loud sex that is making the OP feel uncomfortable in her own house.

For me, she's being purposely disrespectful. We all know sex is natural and nothing to be ashamed about, but that doesn't mean we all wanna listen to it. I honestly couldn't think of anything more worse than knowingly being loud enough that my mum or dad could hear me.

Sparklyshoes16 · 22/01/2018 11:10

This is so disrespectful, plus my parents would have killed me...particularly my dad!! She needs to learn some manners! When my boyfriend stayed over (now husband) you could hear a pin drop with the odd giggle Smile and it was the same at his parents house!! I would have been mortified (murdered by my parents) if I knew my PIL could hear anything! It's noting to do with being sure sexually this is a simple case of having respect and plain old manners!!

maddiemookins16mum · 22/01/2018 11:13

Another reason adult children should move out. She can rent a room in a shared house with the bf and still save some (London or not).

Blackteadrinker77 · 22/01/2018 11:20

Get her to read this thread

That should do it

strugglingtodomybest · 22/01/2018 11:27

Next time, once she starts, I'd just knock on her bedroom door and ask her to keep the noise down. If she gets shirty with you, you can point out to her that most people would have taken the hint when you told her the first time that you can hear her.

Her boyfriend must be so embarrassed. Or he should be. Or maybe neither or them have manners?

rjay123 · 22/01/2018 11:31

I found that when my housemate was having extremely noisy sex, ‘encouraging’ comments through the paper thin walls normally stopped things!

“Is it in yet”
“Did you remember to wash this time”
“Shall I start the 12 second countdown”

Thankfully I had a good relationship with them both...

BorgQueenie · 22/01/2018 11:36

I've told my (older) children that I don't want to hear it thanks. I think that's fair enough.

OldPony · 22/01/2018 11:42

This is a really weird thread. Why are you telling the internet about your DD's sex life? Fucked up boundaries or what.
And why aren't you able to talk to her like a normal mother?

user1490465531 · 22/01/2018 11:45

Have noisy sex yourself and have a competition who can make the most noise.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 22/01/2018 13:39

old it would be fucked up if she put it on facebook. This site is anon. Not like she's slapped up a photo of the daughter and boyfriend and told the story. I'd say the messed up boundaries is on the daughters part, who boinks that loudly and then makes a point of saying too the mother I bet you can hear us?!

specialsubject · 22/01/2018 14:16

It is basic consideration not to disturb others in shared accommodation. Presumably you brought her up to have some consideration and she's forgotten. Remind her.

Loud shagging is not actually a human right.

PiffleandWiffle · 23/01/2018 08:23

Why are you telling the internet about your DD's sex life?

FFS, she's asking advice - by your rules there wouldn't be any"riske" topics on the whole web...... Hmm

ItsNeverEndingIsIt · 23/01/2018 17:45

I’m 28 and have lived on my own since 22.

I wouldn’t dream of having noisy sex in my parents house - I did have sex there when I lived there - but was SO worried they would hear was always very quiet. It’s embarrassing for everyone if they heard!

It’s not about being comfortable in my own home (my old home) it’s about being respectful of others-ie my mum / dad.
Does she know you can heat everything? - I’d mention it in a nice way - “glad you had so much fun last night, but I’d rather not have a running soundtrack while eating my biscuits with a cuppa thanks!”

Lndnmummy · 23/01/2018 17:50

Is she disrespectful in other ways op? It sounds very disturbing.

Mikklehaha · 23/01/2018 18:05

I’m sorry but your daughter needs to grow up and stop being such an inconsiderate madam. Even married with children I still would rather cut my arm off than make my mum feel uncomfortable in her own home with loud sex noises. She needs kicking in to touch.

labazs · 23/01/2018 18:21

old enough to get her own place tell her your home respect you and home