To feel that you cant talk about being proud to bf?

[TwilightRiver]

Just to start I am not trying to be goady, and not wanting this to be bf vs ff.

I respect everyones right to choose how to feed their baby.

I haven been bf my lo for 5 months and am very proud of that fact. I have had very little problems and been fortunate enough to have avoided mastitis and thrush so far but its still been so bloody hard.

I have close friends that have babies amd chose to ff . I feel that i can't talk about it for fear of them thinking im getting at them or getting into a whole debate.

I also find that people find its's acceptable to make comments to a mum in regard to bf. 'Maybe theyre not getting enough' "They need water' 'no one else gets to feed, when you giving a bottle'. They wouldn't dream of making such comments to a mother whos ff or criticize her for her choice.

This is also extended to medical professionals. Here ff babies are weighed when born and again when transfered to hv. No weigh ins with midwife on return from hospital. where as bf babies are weighed on return fron hispital then 5 days then weekly. Apparently this is because they know how much ff babies are getting. Its like they are going back on the whole 'breast is best' and expecting you to fail. Or should be the same policy regardless of method of feeding.

To follow on from my post - of course I don't say that shit in the real world to friends who FF or even BF.

Unnecessary way to hurt someone's feelings and make them feel a bad mother.

If you're feeding your kid then you're doing fine. But, for me, all evidence lead me to believe that to be doing my very best my child needed to be exclusively breastfed, so that's what I did. And it was the single hardest challenge I've ever faced, so to have overcome it made me proud.

'Honestly your post is one of the worst I've read on here'.

Agreed JJPP123. Every part of JenniferL90's post almost started me off again.

"We all know various health benefits related to various health issues but to suggest you are 'proud' of something suggests others doing differently are inferior."

It's true though.

Being overweight doesn't make you a bad person. I don't judge people for their weight. (I would judge if their kid was obese but that's a different thread)

But it doesn mean your health is inferior to a fit and slim person.

And if you eat well and exercise then yes, that is something to be proud of.

Eating takeaway pizza and watching TV all night is not something to be proud of....

'of course I don't say that shit in the real world to friends who FF or even BF.

Unnecessary way to hurt someone's feelings and make them feel a bad mother'. Well why say it on here then?

But it does mean

Not read all of this, and a few replies just prove the fact that's it's very hard to talk about either bf or ff without causing a debate. Breastfeeding isn't always a choice, some women just aren't able to do it and luckily we live in a wonderful age where babies thrive on the alternative.
I do feel that it's hard to mention bf though without being called goady.
I am proud i was able to breastfeed. It was very difficult and I persevered through weeks of solely expressing whilst my dd was in intensive care before even getting the chance to try and latch her on and all of the issues that went on to cause. It was extremely difficult and it would have been easier for me to give up, but in that situation breastmilk was better for her so I pushed through and I am proud for managing to keep going.
We all do what's best for our babies, and we are all proud of different things and achievements, that is one of mine.

Butt hurt! 😂😂😂

Is everyone supposed to bow down because you dramatically carried on breastfeeding? Give me a break!

And Sandy, no, it’s really not something to be proud of. How sad for you that you think it is!

Personally, I have actual accomplishments that I’m proud of and therefore don’t need to feel any sort of superiority about the random biological occurrence that made me a female.

"that it is not an adequate substitute for human milk"
What a stupid thing to say

How about because there are idiots comparing BF to going to the toilet.......

Thankfully I don't come across twats like that in real life.
You aren't the only people getting pissed off by posts in here.

You aren't the only people getting pissed off by posts in here.
So if you get pissed off by goady and insensitive comments online about bf (I agree comparing it to taking a shit is offensive) then why would you persist in making them about ff?

Poor Jennifer. People aren’t treating her speshul enough. She BREASTFED ffs.

She’s the best EVER.

It's a choice. Don't ever take that away from women.

Breastfeeding is something we do. In the words of Chris Rock, "What do ya want? A cookie?" You're SUPPOSED to breastfeed your kids. And if you can't or don't want to, that's totally cool too. No judgement from me. If you want to formula feed all the way, it's not on me to pass comment. I don't care how you feed your kid!

I never talked about breastfeeding. I just did it, anywhere, anytime, just cracked on, bish, bash, bosh, job done. And I also gave my babies formula and fought off THAT gestapo when they showed up to judge.

You can't win as a mother. If you FF in front of BFeeders, the vibe sucks. If you BF around FFeeders, the vibe sucks. But you CAN decide not to give two shiny shits about what others think.

If your kid is fed, clothed, watered, and loved, you've won. But please! No medals OR judgement for something we're just supposed to do: feed our kids.

As for pride? I'm not proud of breastfeeding. It's just a thing. I'm proud of the little people I fed.

Christ, the ignorance...

You tried really hard and managed to succeed because you knew it was best. Awesome.

What if you'd tried even harder, persevered through the sorts of difficulties others can't even imagine, knew it was the best thing for your baby, but still failed? Then you don't get to be proud?

It's great that you were committed. Round of applause for you. Many women are equally committed and just as aware of the benefits but still fail. So yes, you are more fortunate than them because you were able to make it work. That's luck.

A lot of bitter people on this thread. Well done breastfeeding for five months. It is bloody hard and you should feel proud. It more like running a marathon than going to the toilet. What a horrible mindless comparison.
And I agree, if I had a pound for every time someone gave me advice about weaning or telling me how weird it was to breast feed my kids after six months, I'd be a millionaire. The assumption is always that you are desperate to make them 'independent'. Meanwhile, I dare not even breathe that maybe the baby doesn't want to be passed from pillar to post or left with a bottle wedged in their three month old hands although I am thinking it and judging you too, just so you know. I just happen to have a filter.

But you CAN decide not to give two shiny shits about what others think

I'm working so hard on this. And I will feel fucking proud when I manage it!

a lot of bitter people on this thread
And even more who are keen to maintain women's reputation are judgmental shrews. How dare you judge a woman who's bottle feeding? You have no idea of her experiences or what's in that bottle and why. Vile.

'A lot of bitter people on this thread'.
'...Meanwhile, I dare not even breathe that maybe the baby doesn't want to be passed from pillar to post or left with a bottle wedged in their three month old hands although I am thinking it and judging you too, just so you know. I just happen to have a filter.'

And another shitty post from pluckedpencil.

MadMags - your latest post is the 2nd laugh you have given me today, thanks for that. There have been precious few laughs on here.

Fucking hell, cool it with the judgement.
What the fuck is wrong with feeling proud of something you consider an achievement?!

Just because the OP didn’t suffer through thrush and mastitis doesn’t mean BF wasn’t hard for her.

It’s other people’s view on something that makes you sound preachy; ie. I lost some weight a few years back, couldn’t talk about it to a single member of my family as they’re all over weight. I was proud of the achievement. And you could argue it wasn’t a struggle really, just had to stop stuffing my face so much. (I’m a fatter than I’ve ever been if anyone thinks I’m trying to get a brag in)

Let people enjoy there fucking achievements and stop bringing them down.

I don't judge anyone who choses/by necessity bottle feeds. I judge people who don't respect that a tiny baby should be being held ideally by its mother while being fed, by breast or bottle. I just hate when someone tells me how I'm stupid because I miss out on the convenience of a bottle and being able to let others in the family feed the baby and experience the closeness when all the studies show babies want to be fed almost exclusively by their mothers, by whatever means, breast or bottle. Obviously no always possible, but why gloat about something that is actually not the best for the baby. To me that is topsy turvy.

Jennifer what does that have to do with the fact that you said formula isnt adequate?
It was a stupid (and totally false) thing to say.
I must say though I do think pluckedpencil has beat you in that sense, What a goady troll.

There is a massive amount of evidence (evidence not propaganda as some would like you to believe) that BF does offer baby a range of benefits over FF. That said there are many women who can't BF, despite massive amounts of perseverance and i really feel for those women.
There are also women who choose not to breastfeed because they don't like the concept or their DP doesn't want DC using his playthings or (and I'll get shot down for this) because they don't want to be tied to their baby 24/7.

I do feel proud that I breastfed because it was bloody hard. I breastfed through mastitis and poor latch. I persevered with pumping to up my supply. I copied with cluster feeding and the general feeling that my baby was sucking the life out of me in those early constant days.
I know many who believe they tried their best to breastfeed but couldn't cope with these things. Maternal mental health is important but I don't think enough emphasis is placed on how hard BF can be initially but how easy is is longer term.

I'm sorry but I know that I worked much harder than many others I know to establish BF, gave it longer to become established and sacrificed a bit of myself in those first few weeks to make it work. Of course I don't go round saying that in my day to day life, as a topic it rarely comes up. And I am sensitive to people who couldn't/didn't breastfeed but they are often not sensitive to me (as proved on this post).
I'd be proud of myself if I worked hard at something else to achieve it. Why on earth can't I be proud of this?