To feel that you cant talk about being proud to bf?

[TwilightRiver]

Just to start I am not trying to be goady, and not wanting this to be bf vs ff.

I respect everyones right to choose how to feed their baby.

I haven been bf my lo for 5 months and am very proud of that fact. I have had very little problems and been fortunate enough to have avoided mastitis and thrush so far but its still been so bloody hard.

I have close friends that have babies amd chose to ff . I feel that i can't talk about it for fear of them thinking im getting at them or getting into a whole debate.

I also find that people find its's acceptable to make comments to a mum in regard to bf. 'Maybe theyre not getting enough' "They need water' 'no one else gets to feed, when you giving a bottle'. They wouldn't dream of making such comments to a mother whos ff or criticize her for her choice.

This is also extended to medical professionals. Here ff babies are weighed when born and again when transfered to hv. No weigh ins with midwife on return from hospital. where as bf babies are weighed on return fron hispital then 5 days then weekly. Apparently this is because they know how much ff babies are getting. Its like they are going back on the whole 'breast is best' and expecting you to fail. Or should be the same policy regardless of method of feeding.

Ebf can be hard you should be proud and pleased with yourself, yes it natural like going for a poo but the majority find pooping easy unlike breast feeding. Go and reward yourself, you are doing a fantastic job. FYI I had it easy ebf

I use to work for women in the 80s who felt the need to be as macho as possible

I had a boss like this in my last job. 2/3rds of her team left for other companies and she was then fired.

Well done OP, I have just hit the 1 year mark and I am proud.
I've gone through Thrush and cracked nipples and biting !
I'm extremely proud of my self ☺️

I think you should be proud of it OP. Breastfeeding is really hard I couldn't do it. I don't think it's just a simple body function. Yes your boobs are for feeding and its natural doesn't mean it's easy. I dont this k the weighing in is them going back on advice though I think it's just to notice problems as dehydration is very easy as you don't know how much babies getting.

zzzzz it is different because one you can control (deciding to carry on BF, persevere through difficulties etc) and one you can't (tears etc).

And ignore the haters OP, Mothers should support each other no matter how a babies fed

Well no, but then noone can control whether they have a tear can they? Or whether they get pregnant or not? I couldn't control my birth injuries etc, but could control deciding to carry on BF. For better or worse most people could, ignoring h very small percentage that physically can't do it. That isn't to say that stopping isn't the right decision in a lot of cases, for mental health reasons or just whatever reason, but it is still a decision. Tearing isn't a decision.

needs flexible hours to feed*

All my staff have flexible hours. And there are plenty of places for women to express in private if they so desire. However, I don't expect them to make a big deal of the fact that they are choosing that way to feed their child. Because it's not a big deal. It's not an achievement. It's not ground breaking or exceptional.

I do, however, expect them to feel pride in the work that they are doing for me and the achievements that they have made in our field.

If a woman believes that feeding her baby is a bigger achievement than what we are doing, then I would question her commitment.

And who are you to decide what others feel proud of? It has zero impact on you.

zzzzz .... and so why can't OP feel proud? Her feelings have nothing to do with you and what you can or can't do.

I was very proud of myself. Struggled the first time through all the possible issues of breastfeeding, I did it until he was 2 still but the second time I felt proud that I still did it regardless of the struggles the first time. I felt strong and happy that I learned the latch etc properly. It was liberating somehow!

Unfortunately as you can see, lots of people see this as an attack on them not doing it I’d you ever mention it (which I don’t care about, I really don’t care how you feed your child). But hey, I’m still proud! I must admit that I don’t go around talking about how proud I am but I just feel it strongly inside.

I understand how they feel. I still feel strong guilt that I fed my first formula (which he ended up being allergic to!) so had I not gone back to breastfeeding I would also feel defensive enough to tell strangers on the internet how wrong they were to feel proud when I had gone through X Y Z.

You’re fine to feel proud! I’m proud of you too

Zeezeek. Why would you care if your employee was proud of expressing? What difference does it make to you. I really fucking hope you are curing childhood cancer in this "field" that had to be the sole source of pride for the women who work for you. Are they allowed to be proud if they run a marathon?

Feel fine.
Talk about it Who wants to hear it? Not me.

Can't you just be pleased that you have been able to bf and leave it at that? Not every non-bf mother is there by choice you know, or fail to do so because they fail to persevere, some try & find the difficulties insurmountable.

In my case I had a premature baby who weighed less than 2 pounds & had a brain bleed….he is severely disabled to this day. My huge but ultimately failed attempt to establish bf for a baby I wasn't sure was even going to live, was arguably one of the most traumatising things of all - it has haunted me ever since. Maybe I should feel proud for trying?…but it hasn't ever occurred to me.

So by all means feel proud, you are entitled to feel whatever way you want but I don't want it shoved in my face to make me feel worse, if that's OK.

I'm proud I gave birth to a 9 and a half pound baby and didn't tear! >>gulp

Zzz zzz.... the majority of women and babies do not have the issues that you mentioned. THEY can, if they want, feel pride that they chose to breastfeed, that they sacrificed their own autonomy and certain freedoms to feed their child.

I'm not sure what you are not getting about this. We know some people have no choice.... this is not about them/you.

If someone asking for a platform to express their pride in breastfeeding is so triggering or hurtful, perhaps you should skip the breastfeeding posts.

Thanks for the empathy MissMouse, I'm off now.

Im just proud ive had kids and they are thriving. That is All.

I really fucking hope you are curing childhood cancer in this "field" that had to be the sole source of pride for the women who work for you. *

Why childhood cancer? Is no other form of cancer important?

I want women to be proud of real achievements. As I've said a million times, but some people obviously have difficulty comprehending, feeding a child is not an achievement or something to be proud of. It is just something we all do in order to keep said child alive.

It’s possible that we are reading, comprehending and concluding that it’s s thoroughly dickish point

That's the point. Too many people are seeing this as an attack on them, their situations and the way they chose or were forced to feed their children. When it is not an attack on them. And I stand by my comment- if you know that hearing people talking about breast feeding distresses you why would you deliberately choose to put yourself in that position.