To feel that you cant talk about being proud to bf?

[TwilightRiver]

Just to start I am not trying to be goady, and not wanting this to be bf vs ff.

I respect everyones right to choose how to feed their baby.

I haven been bf my lo for 5 months and am very proud of that fact. I have had very little problems and been fortunate enough to have avoided mastitis and thrush so far but its still been so bloody hard.

I have close friends that have babies amd chose to ff . I feel that i can't talk about it for fear of them thinking im getting at them or getting into a whole debate.

I also find that people find its's acceptable to make comments to a mum in regard to bf. 'Maybe theyre not getting enough' "They need water' 'no one else gets to feed, when you giving a bottle'. They wouldn't dream of making such comments to a mother whos ff or criticize her for her choice.

This is also extended to medical professionals. Here ff babies are weighed when born and again when transfered to hv. No weigh ins with midwife on return from hospital. where as bf babies are weighed on return fron hispital then 5 days then weekly. Apparently this is because they know how much ff babies are getting. Its like they are going back on the whole 'breast is best' and expecting you to fail. Or should be the same policy regardless of method of feeding.

@ElspethTascioni I know this is the Internet and things can come across as harsher than they're intended but please re-read your post and consider how your language makes people who CAN'T bf feel, such as myself and numerous others on this thread. Example: "make the effort to"... I've spent over £300 so far to try and get breastfeeding going, from buying a double expression pump, numerous nipple shields and bottles to cranial osteopathy sessions and none of it has worked so far. I've lost so many hours of my life to pumping and crying over the fact that no matter how much effort I put in I still can't feed my baby the way I'd hoped. Or pointing out that bf is better... that makes me feel even worse. The majority of us are telling OP that it's not that she shouldn't feel proud unlike what you insinuate, but that publicly proclaiming that pride may hurt others.

I couldn't give a single crap about how other people feed their babies, but saying 'feeding journey' makes you sound like a pompous idiot

Btw, that wasn't aimed at you OP

Elspeth we could all use Anecdotal evidence couldn't we. If I had a quid for every bf child who was a "sickly" child with bronchitis, sickness, colds, picks up every germ going I'd have about 20 quid and I don't know many little children either...

Rainbows. Seriously? I’m so angry at what you posted.

How DARE you say that. You CLEARLY have no idea.

Quite apart from anything else there are food allergies in the baby and medications taken by the mother that mean it is NOT best for every single baby to be BF.

I think it’s fine to be pleased with yourself but perhaps just shut up about it. Nobody cares. Other than maybe people in the same position, go on about it to them.

It’s like banging on about how proud you are of running a marathon to people who can’t run to the end of the street. They don’t want to know. Talk about it with like minded souls if you absolutely must talk about it at all.

Have bf and ff on different occasions fwiw, sometimes stuff works out and sometimes it doesn’t.

There you go rainbows. I googled that for you.

babygooroo.com/articles/why-some-mothers-cant-breastfeed

Why would you be proud of a bodily function

I have 0 interest in how anyone feeds their babies to be honest so would be a bit if my friend kept going on about it.

I do sometimes wonder how parenting become so complicated. You have a baby and then care for it the best you can. Surely that’s it, why does it have to be so competitive and judgy.

Blue please inform us who disagree how it is better to be bf than ff? I think a lot of us are intrigued to know...

I see the bitch brigade are out in force tonight 🙄 Christ, even if you disagree with a poster is there any need to be so bloody rude? I for one found BF damn hard work and every week I got through the cracked bleeding nipples, mastitis, never having a break for someone else to take care of baby for more than an hour or two,felt like a massive achievement to me. It was a long time ago now, and I often wonder if I should have given up and gone onto formula earlier. So yeah, be proud of yourself, I was!

Very interesting - but still only two very rare conditions where it is the baby who shouldn’t be breastfeed as opposed to the mum/baby pairing

However a mother chooses to feed her child is a sometimes a matter of opinion, or sometimes there's complications, so if there are any mothers who aren't capable of breastfeeding your post is very hurtful and also very opinionated.

OP I haven’t read all the comments - only as far as page 1 - and can’t believe the harsh responses you’ve received. I think it highlights your point exactly. Bf is bloody hard work and you should be proud of yourself. And I completely disagree with the mantra that ‘Fed is best’ - it’s not! Fed is the basic minimum!! Well done on all those hours you’ve spent bf your baby. I hope there’s a lot more to come and your baby continued to benefit from your milk. I don’t care that it’s not popular, I’m fed up acquiescing to mums who ff - bf is best for baby and bf mums deserved a hell of a lot more support, recognition and praise for bf

But you said it was better for every single baby to be BF.

Clearly it isn’t. As a quick google discovered.

My point ain’t was that when we there is trouble with BF the refrain is always “put them on the bottle” with no acknowledgement of the fact that FF isn’t some kind of cure all, and in fact it can and does cause issues for many babies. But we are NEVER allowed to speak of those, there is no acceptance that FF is not a perfect solution. It all feels arse about tit.

These are 1 in a million conditions

Medication does not mean that basic BM is not superior to Artificial feeding again it just means that in that specific mum/baby combo FF is the preferred choice.

Also I've been on a DF and SF diet for 17 months. Allergies can be worked around and you can still BF just incase there is anyone reading this who worries. Just approach your GP and they'll advise.

They aren’t one in a million.

And I’ve never said it was better for every baby to be bf - just disagree with your statement that it is better for some babies to be ff

I agree better for some mum/babies to ff however

I think you are trying to pick fights tonight.

I’m sorry for any upset I caused you mumma I should have been more careful how I worded my post. There are clearly women for whom there are insummountable issues, and it must be very distressing.

Reasons why BF is not the best option:

1. When the babies health is suffering as a result of BF not working out (for whatever reason).

2. When it’s affecting the mothers mental well being (for whatever reason) and potentially affecting her bond with the baby.

BF is only the best option if it suits mom and baby. I hate the saying “Happy mummy, happy baby” or whatever it is, but no woman should risk her state of mind, her health or her happiness by trying to breast feed if things just aren’t working out.

Ff is such a short term thing though. Both mine went on to cows milk at 12 months and had a good diet from 5/6 months from weaning where I did all homemade puréed food then went onto a more solid food diet. Formula feeding is for such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things yet such fuss is made over it. My children have brilliant immune systems, they have a healthy balanced diet and they live in a good healthy environment. That's all that really matters.

@ThisBabyIsAnOctopus Maybe if you had read the whole thread you'd understand how heartbreaking it is for those of us who really want to breastfeed but can't to hear people like you rubbing it in our faces that we aren't making "the best" choice for our babies. Your post is so shaming it's ridiculous.

Any mother who successfully feeds their children a healthy diet can be proud. Doesn’t matter how it comes about, breast, bottle, baby lead warning, spoon fed weaning.

breastfeeding is not a choice for everyone. Some people are genuinely unable to. Going on about ho proud you are when some people are genuinely unable to makes fairly depressing listening, I should think.

Glad it's going well for you but why on earth should you be proud? It's a choice you made for you and your child, like many others make a choice they feel best based on their circumstances and bodies.