To wonder when do they see their children?

[user1495362060]

I am currently working in STEM subject in academia but have to decide about a future career path. One of the possibilities is to work in finance.

I recently got a proposal for a relatively high paying job there. The hours however are 9-19 every day. I gather it isn’t even considered that long for this industry!

For various reasons I am not going to take this offer, however this makes me wonder...how do parents work at this kind of jobs? If I were to take it I would not see my kids except maybe for a few minutes at breakfast and as they go to bed. surely it cannot be a normal situation? If you work at a job with a salary which allows you to live in London with the kids, what are your hours?

9-19? As in 9am till 7pm?

I work 7am-7.30pm (nurse).
However I don't currently have kids, but I only work 3-4 days/nights a week which is full time.
No idea how people would manage 9-7 every single day!

To clarify, 9-19 is 9am to 7pm, i e 10 hours a day.

usually the other half of the marriage/relationship is at home running the household and children.

The reality is they probably don't see their kids in the week.

I know quite a few dad's who leave for work before kids are awake and get in when kids are asleep in bed. For a while my dh was like this. Fortunately the children go to bed a bit later now and he gets in a bit earlier so he sees them for about 20 minutes.

My husband works a variety of hours - Be if 6am-3pm or 1pm-10pm.

It’s not ideal but a job with his salary is hard to come by.

9am -7pm is normal hours for a well paid job (in fact it's only about 90 mins longer than a normal job). DH works those hours and he isn't even that well paid.

Including my commute I'm away from 7.30am until 7pm at earliest not a high paid job at all and far from ideal. No part time or any sort of flex allowed at my place.

Husband works round corner from home and is home by 4pm.

We couldn't do it and it would've Fairborn the kids if he worked any longer.

Some days dp doesn't see the youngest one.

There were whole weeks when the eldest dc were younger before school that if i didn't get them to him in his lunch break he wouldn't see them at all except on his days off when he was obviously knackered.

When I worked there were days when i wouldn't see my youngest. It is shit but it is the hours employers demand nowadays and if you don't want to work like that there are loads of others who will.

I work 9-6 but...
I can do it from home during the week and, as I’ve been doing this for ages, I can squeeze the workload into far fewer hours. (I actually get a lot more done than office based colleagues).

I do have a specialty that makes me difficult to replace and had to fight hard for the right to wfh. It’s not easy but it is possible.

DH does 9-5.30. He has a shorter commute than me (when I do go in) and we have 4DCs.

Totally depends on commute. I do 4 long days 8am til 6.30ish. I get them ready for nursery and see them at home and get ready for bed. It’s not ideal but I only have a 15min commute

Plenty of working parents pick their kids up from nurseries/cms at 6 or later and basically have to take them home and put them to bed so see very little of them in the week.
It wasn’t for me but it’s fairly normal and sahms or those who work part time and receive top ups to enable them to see some of their children are seen as a drain on society by a lot of people these days.

I worked in London with a salary that enabled me to live there with the kids (including DHs income). My contracted hours were 9am to 6pm, but I worked 7:30pm ish (DH did nursery drop off) till 5pm (I did nursery pick up, and really struggled to make the 6pm pick up with public transport craziness) then I would do a couple of hours from home in the evenings. It sucked. I spent a lot of time whilst pregnant with DD2 leaving Home at 5am (or earlier) so I could travel to Birmingham or Manchester or wherever and fit all my meetings in so I could leave in time to be back at nursery for 6pm (they charge £5 for every 5 minutes you were late, and it was awful for DS to be last being picked up). This was pretty normal for everyone I know working in London with kids. I didn’t go back after DD was born as I was pretty close to breaking point.

If you are contracted for a 50 hour week and you actual have to be at the place of work - plus travel time for child care, that just isn’t sustainable for a parent. Unless you are paid enough to employ a live in Nanny to work 8am to 8pm (and they opt out of the Wprking time directive) presuming you have a commute of some kind) then it’s just not possible.

That's why I hate this country. We have among the longest working hours in Europe. Where is the work life balance? What benefit can it be to anyone if fathers (in most cases) are not seeing their children?

9-7 is okay if there's two of you, one does morning drop off one does evening pickup. 8-6 without any flexibility would be much worse!

Partner/mum/nanny does the kids grunt work

Working 9am to 7pm every day is completely pointless. 'Thought leaders' keep scratching their heads about why the UK has a productivity problem. There is acres and acres and acres of research, dating back to the 19th century, that shows that people working a ten hour day do less work than people doing a 7 hour day. Those three hours are not only wasted, they also reduce the overall focus of the entire day (due to the knock on effects of fatigue, overload etc).

10 hour days are insisted on by people who cannot cope with personal relationships. They use work to validate themselves and avoid having a life outside of the structure and routine of work - they find it too hard to invest in an actual personal life.

I do 7-7 5 days a week in a not at all high paid job.

I used to work in finance and the hours were 7am-7pm typically.
I didn’t have kids at the time, but colleagues did. Basically they didn’t see them during the week, and their other half usually didn’t work.
Those who did have other halves that worked had live in nannies.

The city pays well but they expect you to put the hours in.

It's not that unusual. I officially work 8 30 until 5 30 but realistically I start a little early and rarely leave before 6 30. DH works slightly longer hours and has a commute too. When we have children I will probably drop to a three day week with paid childcare on those days. DH will come home earlier but work from home once they have gone to bed - that's what most of his colleagues do.

I'm out of the house at 6.30 am and not home until 6.30 pm at the earliest 4 days a week, one day a week I'm home between 4.45 and 5.30 pm. I'm a single parent so have a nanny share, it sucks that I'm out of the house for so long and miss lots of school things but I get weekends (Sunday only really as Saturday DD has clubs) and my pay enables me to take a nice holiday each year.

In the field of law those kinds of hours are unfortunately totally common place. It's very hard to have a family. One of the partners in my firm used to go into a meeting room to Skype her young son before he went to bed she returned to FT work 5 weeks after giving birth.

I tend to work 50+ hours a week I just do them at different times now vs when I had kids

Before I would be in the office until 7-8pm, now unless I am travelling I do 9-5 then am back online for a couple of hours after the DC are asleep

Still with an hour-ish commute you still don't see a great deal of the DC in the week, that's just reality

Finance from what I've heard is worse in the sense they still seem quite focused on being present in the office

A friend of mine has a job not even well paid which, including her commute means she's away 6am-8pm. Only gets to see her 1y girl if she wake up in the night or at weekends!

Monday to friday my husband only sees our kids in their pyjamas. Hes also away at least one night a week, all of which makes my return to work impossible for now.