To wonder when do they see their children?

[user1495362060]

I am currently working in STEM subject in academia but have to decide about a future career path. One of the possibilities is to work in finance.

I recently got a proposal for a relatively high paying job there. The hours however are 9-19 every day. I gather it isn’t even considered that long for this industry!

For various reasons I am not going to take this offer, however this makes me wonder...how do parents work at this kind of jobs? If I were to take it I would not see my kids except maybe for a few minutes at breakfast and as they go to bed. surely it cannot be a normal situation? If you work at a job with a salary which allows you to live in London with the kids, what are your hours?

“No amount of money/materialism is more important than being a good parent. A parent who barely sees their children for days on end isn’t a good one.”

Well how very rude of you! My DH often goes for months on end with no contact with our children and puts his life on the line whilst doing so to protect Our country...he’s an excellent parent. Shame on you

A lot of families have to have both parents working full time just to meet the mortgage and normal bills. I hear lots of people say that women have to give up their jobs because they can't afford to work...many families can't afford for both parents not to work.

We are lucky in that we both earn well, but work locally and travel rarely. I work part-time from home and we share school drop off and pick up. I appreciate we are in a very fortunate position. I have turned down promotion because it would mean travel which I'm not prepared to do. Luckily I don't have to financially. Lots of people do.

I have yet to meet parents who selfishly work long hours and travel because they want to, despite their children's needs. I meet a lot of parents who need to do it out of necessity to survive. You know what, their children are absolutely fine and well adjusted individuals.

I leave the house at 7am, husband brings kids to school/childminder for 8:30 start. I collect them at 6pm, we eat pre-prepared food. Kids go to bed around 7:30. I get 1 hour in the morning (we get up at 6) and 1.5 hours in the evening, husband 2.5 hours in morning and dinner time. we make it quality time with them rather than just “being around”. A bit more work and housework once the kids are asleep. Works well for us, and includes 2 parents working 50 plushours a week with me having 1 or 1.5 hours commute (I work on the train, and work in 2 different locations)

And seeing ones children and being a good parent does not correlate. Plenty of parents are around all day, kids parked in front of TV. Not good parents. Others spend quality time with children.
Quality and quantity are two very, very different things.

DH is out of the house working 7-7, 6 days a week. He works in a trade and is reasonably well paid.

I'm a SAHM to 5dc.

We wait for him to get home and we all eat together. They don't go to bed early so we spend time together in the evenings. I think he spends about 2 and a half hours a day with them and then all day on a Sunday.

I deal with all school related, medical and social stuff for the dc.

I think it would be impossible for us both to work those hours and give our children everything we feel they need. I think our dc benefit a lot from having one of us at home full time. They also benefit a lot from DH working.

Overall we are doing what we feel is best for our children. There is no denying that DH and I are missing out though. Him, on quality time with our children and me with work opportunities. Both of us miss out on free time for friends and hobbies because we prioritise the dc and there are just not enough hours in a day!

My PTA are lovely. I'm not an official member but I help out when I can (work pt through choice). They do loads for the school and while the 2 main organisers do not appear to work they really appreciate whoever can give up their time to help out. Many people bring small children along.

Doesn't seem to be judging on either side from what I've seen.

They also put on varied events so it's not all bake a cake type PTA.

I'm a single mom, i work the hours i do to make ends meet, i use the money from the settlement with ex to pay for childcare. I have considered going part time so 1) i dont have to fork out for childcare and 2) i get to spend some quality time with my boy, but i cant find a pt job for my skillset. My employer wont entertain flex, been down that route. I hate that someone else is, in essence raising my boy, and i pay her for the priviledge

I'm a nanny and my boss works similar hours to this. I have the kids from when school finishes until she gets home. I'm sure she'd like to see them more but the kids are happy and fine.

I work in The City and leave the house at 7am and get home at 7.30pm. We don't have children yet and I'm trying (very hard) to find a way of working less hours however as the 'breadwinner' it's not easy impossible to find something in the right salary range.

We've already discussed that DH will be a SAHD.
But yes...if I can't find something else which seems likely then I'll see the DC for a few mins at breakfast and for bedtime.

It's basically what all of my male colleagues do who are parents.

My female colleagues often have a couple of work from home days or work four days a week but that's not an option for me.

DP is a finance grad.

His base hours are 9-6. He can quite often be there from 8am - 11pm. 9-7 is the dream.

I wimped out of corporate finance after having a baby. Often worked round clock and international travel at drop of a hat. No women in my team came back from mat leave and stayed . No women partners in my team. Oh yes one - on gardening leave with a breakdown. Single and childfree.

Hoped things had changed this was 9 years ago.

My husband is gone from 8-7.15 daily, and he sees the children for about 15 minutes at night, and an hour each morning. He makes breakfast for all in the morning, and waits outside with my eldest until he catches the school bus.

I’m a SAHM, and have just started freelancing from home one day a week. I will consider a second day when my youngest goes to pre-K four mornings a week as of September. But I wouldn’t want to work more than two days. I don’t have to, as DH is a high earner, and I wished when I was little that my mother was more present. My father had flexible hours, so I spent more time with him, and as a result enjoy a much closer relationship. I guess we will see what happens when my kids are grown-up, but my husband certainly puts in a massive effort at weekends, and is always with his family.