Teacher described me as hopeless

[Bluepeony]

I got a phone call yesterday about some missing homework and I responded politely.

Anyway, we had said goodbye and I heard the teacher say to someone else ‘she is hopeless isn’t she, ‘

I get she didn’t mean me to hear but I’m still so angry ... should I say anything?

Me too Cotswold. In fact at our school you do make up work if you are off. Either in school or at home.

"The teacher referred to the OP as “hopeless” with reference to how the OP converses / answers questions / discusses issues. Bitty, stilted and all over the place."

That might refer to how difficult it has been to get the full story from the Op, but her conversation with the teacher sounds fine to me.

On page 5 I asked some specific questions.
Does he often forget PE kit? Do you have to be chased for permission forms?
You haven't responded to any of those questions. Your communication is vague and unclear.
If I got a phone call from the school I would be cross my child had perhaps not done a HW. I would be sure to apologise, make sure I know exactly what the HW was, perhaps even offer to fetch it and bring it at school pick up time.

Perhaps the teacher was hoping to hear you say you'd discuss it with him, especially as it's not long until he moves to secondary.

OP "do people really make ill children do double homework"
was your son ill??

I think she was frustrated with you and the fact that you just sound bewildered rather than looking to sort out the homework issue. Remember, you were probably one of several parents she was ringing.

I thought I had wolfie, sorry, I said he was achieving well and attendance and punctuality were fine.

She only started recently at the school, maybe she’s hoping to be super strict or something, who knows.

No, he wasn’t ill, he forgot it I assume.

It's hilarious the amount of people who are excusing the teachers faux by insinuating that the OP is hopeless. The teacher made an awful error of judgement, I do think that berating the OP can have felt that.

As wonderful as teachers are, they are human and cock up. And this one did.

OP, I don't think anyone is really meaning to be mean to you, but we're struggling to help you with why she might have said that when we don't know how the conversation went. From the info we have, they rang to say your son hadn't done one piece of homework. You then said something polite and they called you hopeless. It just seems so.... unlikely There must be something more to it!

Sorry, that should have read 'can change that'.

You haven’t been contacted about homework before, but what about all the rest of the package that is parenting a Y6 boy? Are you usually vague and disorganised? Is he? Because if this is a one-off, what she said doesn’t make sense. If it’s part of a series of different muddles since September, then it does.

BUT obviously she shouldn't have said that within your earshot regardless of how the conversation went - just to be clear!

You should have rang her straight back and complained,

"you just sound bewildered rather than looking to sort out the homework issue."

How so?

Op said that she would sort it out that evening-what more should she have said?

Possibly MsGame but this was a conversation between two teachers, it’s not necessarily a widespread view. I’d also balance that concern against the fact that the boy is half way through his last year of primary and will be presumably moving to a new school in the summer.

I’d imagine that a fuss about an accidental, off the cuff remark is as likely to damage your reputation with the staff as letting it go.

This kind of stuff is all subjective of course. Personally I’d let it go and make sure that no member of staff ever had cause to term me “hopeless” in future.

Others would deal with it differently.

As I said before there’s no one “right” way. My concern is more that Blue is worrying about something that’s really not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. The teacher would probably be appalled to think that she was so upset.

Weird.
In which world is a teacher spending time ring7ng parents because a child hasn’t done their homework instead of either teaching or preparing the next lessons???

As for being useless, I thought the aim was to ensure an 11yo was independent enough to start secondary, which means taking responsibility for their own homework.
If a teacher had ever made that sort of comment to me, my answer wouod have been the same.
‘OK I’ll make sure he is doing it tonight’.
What else was anyone supposed to do???

Apart from that, I think the comment form the teacher was inappropriate anyway. Regardless of whether the OP was supposed to hear it or not.

Wolfiefan. Oh dear God. The OP didn't answer your questions so she's vague and unclear? Okay then.

You know what, I seem to remember I was called hopeless or something along those lines by DS's teacher. I'd forgotten either his water bottle or fruit or something (he's 5). She was right though, I am hopeless at times. Could be gloves, money for something, lunch... I don't care. It wasn't said vindictively and I am very busy.

I think the OP was referring to me with the double homework when sick reference, not her son.

Meant to ask - has he forgotten his homework before?

Thanks @WorraLiberty, for some reason I assumed the child was older and that it was a bit unfair on the mum and didn't think they might be a little one.

Though now I read the child is 11 and I'm confused again - better catch up with the thread!

Radio the teacher absolutely did cock up. She’d no doubt be mortified.

I think I would be sending in a note with the homework on Monday.

Dear Teacher

Please find attached DD homework as requested.

Yours
Bluepony (or as mentioned on the the telephone Friday 'useless parent of DD')

I'd hazard a guess that you sounded uninvolved and possibly uninterested . I'd say you sounded like you weren't bothered and as if your input into your child doing the homework would be saying ' do yesterdays homework too' without any follow up.

But I may be totally wrong.