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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher described me as hopeless

424 replies

Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 16:09

I got a phone call yesterday about some missing homework and I responded politely.

Anyway, we had said goodbye and I heard the teacher say to someone else ‘she is hopeless isn’t she, ‘

I get she didn’t mean me to hear but I’m still so angry ... should I say anything?

OP posts:
HermionesRightHook · 20/01/2018 18:32

Good point @NotReadyToMove,didn't think of that. I guess it could go either way depending on the teacher and how open they are to criticism!

RadioGaGoo · 20/01/2018 18:34

Don't hold back with your hazard guesses Saoirse31.

MiniCooperLover · 20/01/2018 18:34

OP, what I find frustrating is the fact you haven't even asked your DS why he didn't do his homework. It's Saturday eve and you keep saying 'he forgot it I assume'. Why don't you know why it wasn't handed in by joe? You sound a bit removed from it all.

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 18:39

Well, I think I might have solved the mystery. It seems ds inferred I wouldn’t do anything about the missed homework.

It might have helped if she’d told me that. I don’t understand why she didn’t, to be honest.

OP posts:
Christmascardqueen · 20/01/2018 18:40

staffroom scene with a couple staff present one making calls.
usual staff conversation going on....you pick up... the teacher switches from staff conversation to your conversation (which seems brief but fine in a basic way) your conversation ends, you hear "she is hopeless isn't she" it honestly may not even be about you? it could be about the gp receptionist or the new crossing guard or what ever was the discussion at the moment in the staff room.

restbiterepeat · 20/01/2018 18:41

You sound a bit removed from it all.

Being a bit removed from it all is the best way to be. So long as a child has the time and resources to do their homework then it is the responsibility of the eleven year old to work it out.

Better a few late pieces at eleven than a micro-managed and dependent sixteen year old with a clear record.

ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 18:42

The OP said she was clearly identified.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/01/2018 18:42

Well,I imagine she didn’t want to get into a he said, you said conversation
You see not all parents believe that their child is anything other than genius
So this all looks different,right? Teacher has been lead to believe you’d be lackadaisical

So put this aside now
No comments or searching probing why questions of the teacher

bastardkitty · 20/01/2018 18:44

Then the teacher shouldn't have made so many assumptions. Maybe she's not the brightest?

Beeziekn33ze · 20/01/2018 18:44

OP Maybe the teacher is a new senior staff member determined to push up her SATs results. Maybe she's decided being hot on homework is necessary. Maybe after the phone was down the colleague said 'I've always found her pleasant and supportive,' and thought to themself 'Ms New Teacher is a bossy judgemental biatch!'
I'm wondering what the homework was, could Joe do it, has he done it all right now? If it's something he couldn't do or didn't understand take it up with her.
Just make sure Joe is ok with his work and let it go. However it might be an idea to check each evening that his work is done and in his bag for a week or two.
FWIW - I doubt that you are 'hopeless' anyway!

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 18:45

Yes, she said my “sons name” mum ... hopeless.

Lipstick no, they are different matter aren’t they. Child forgets to hand his homework in, not crime of the century. Teacher says she will inform mum and child responds by saying go on then, she won’t care - that’s different, and I feel she should have let me know.

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 20/01/2018 18:46

So what do you want to do?whats a satisfactory resolution?

Thistlebelle · 20/01/2018 18:51

Oh dear Blue. That explains it. It might also lead me to wonder what else he has said about me at other times...

I take it he’s in trouble now?

diddl · 20/01/2018 18:57

Well yes, that does explain it.

But then I also wonder what she would expect you to say to her anyway if you had known what he said?

It's between you & your son.

If you'd said "oh no, of course I care, I'll deal with it"-you might not have said it in the correct tone for her!

Lonesurvivor · 20/01/2018 18:57

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Anasnake · 20/01/2018 18:58

If your son said that you won't care then I'd be more annoyed at him and his attitude than the teacher.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/01/2018 18:58

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ButchyRestingFace · 20/01/2018 19:00

Teacher is possibly just having a bad day/week/life and invested a disproportionate amount of frustration in one thing that irritated her (her conversation with Bluepeony).

I think she’s far from alone in doing that.

I wouldn’t give it any more thought. 🙂

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 19:01

I am annoyed, but I do think the teacher should have explained this to me.

OP posts:
ASauvignonADay · 20/01/2018 19:01

It might also lead me to wonder what else he has said about me at other times...
Ditto. I regularly get "go on then, my mum says I don't have to do it", "my mum says ring her and she'll tell you what for", "my mum says I don't have to do any of your detentions" with a smug face. Wonder what else he may have said on this or previous occasions.

Original poster
Bluepeony · 20/01/2018 19:02

It’s not like him, but he doesn’t like this teacher.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/01/2018 19:05

The teacher should certainly have told you he'd been rude.

Thistlebelle · 20/01/2018 19:06

Blue I don’t mean to be harsh because I know you’re upset but you could have avoided this whole thread if you’d just immediately addressed the matter with your son yesterday afternoon.

You said earlier that you “assumed he forgot it” and you’ve apparently only just asked him about the hopeless comment.

I’d be pretty furious with a child that not only didn’t do their homework but was cheeky to the teacher instead of apologising and on top of all that lied about me.

Anasnake · 20/01/2018 19:07

Not liking the teacher is no excuse

Thistlebelle · 20/01/2018 19:07

Not liking your teacher is completely irrelevant to how you behave towards her and 11yo is old enough to know that.