AIBU ...to be annoyed with MIL's demands as a guest

[heardashot]

The ILs are staying. This morning MIL came in to interfere help with breakfast and declared that FIL would not eat grilled bacon, it had to be fried. All my bacon was under the grill. I had to fish some out and fry it.

Next, cups of tea. MIL makes tea by putting a teabag in milk (ewwwww) and then adding hot water. I must admit that I never do this unless she is stood over me and she has never complained, so I doubt she can even tell the difference. But if she spots me, she tells me how to make her tea.

I was brought up to say thank you if someone gives you a present or something to eat or drink, and never complain about it. If you are out and paying for food and there is something wrong, then have a word yes.

I get buying something that your guests like and you don't have in, FIL likes white bread for example so I got some, but aibu to think that when someone offers you a bacon sandwich or cup of tea, that beyond "no sugar thanks" it is rude for you instruct them how to prepare it? Is is really that difficult to eat a grilled bacon sandwich rather than a fried one?

(They have never ever in my presence complained about a cup of tea when we have been out somewhere.)

I am struggling to see what MIL did wrong here.

I am fairly by the complete bloody disregard for the Proper Tea Making Regime on this thread!!!

As you were.

Yes, I think my rule will be if you want it made in a particular way, make it yourself.

I feel like the unpaid help!

The tea sounds revolting, but just make her tea the way she wants it.

No you didn't. This is where you are going wrong. I would have said "Oh goody, more for me then."

I agree that you didn't have to change your bacon-cooking plans.

GreatDuckCookery She is a guest in someone's home, and instead of accepting their hospitality graciously, she is giving orders of how food will be prepared. She does not do this in restaurants and cafes, so why do it in my house (where the food and drink is free!)

tenterden I know!

I don’t really understand the ‘feeling like the unpaid help’.

If I have guests in my house, I’m cooking for them anyway. And I’d rather they tell me their preferences.

My brother drinks tea so weak it basically tastes of water. Should I forces him to have it my way?

More importantly... who the fuck puts milk in first?!?!?!?!?!?!? Madness!!!!!

And no YANBU, it's rude to be that unnecessarily fussy when you're a guest.

Ask her if she's trying to put her husband into an early grave with appalling dietary habits - bacon/fried bacon, white bread (and whatever else she feeds him). Just going to microwave the salty popcorn

BertrandRussell She wasn't complaining about the strength, she was complaining about the order of the ingredients being put into a mug.

Because that’s how she likes it. How hard is it to do it that? Not a hill to die on.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey I had to bite my tongue about that!

Does bacon taste different if it is grilled rather than fried? Genuine question - I haven’t ever eaten bacon.

Go to b & q and buy a little lock for the kitchen door so she can't see how you are preparing bacon & tea

party my SIL actually got DB to put a bolt on the inside of her kitchen door so she could keep DM out whilst she was cooking

TheFaerieQueene I don't think I could tell the difference unless it was swimming in grease, which it wasn't because I blotted it on kitchen roll!

Had to cut FIL's sandwich in half in rectangles as well instead of triangles. Again, he prefers it that way according to MIL, but does it really matter? I've never heard her or FIL complain or instruct when we stop for a cup of tea and a sandwich out somewhere so why do it in my house?

YANBU about the bacon.
Ya bit U about the tea. If people like it a certain way, let them do it. My dsis thinks her tea is stewing if I even take time to blink after pouring the water on the tea bag.
Chacun a son gout. (or as DF used to say - anyone can have the gout)

The bacon is annoying but i don't see why it would've so wrong to tell someone how you like your tea made. My MiL likes tea you can stand a spoon up in, I like the weakest, most insipid brew imaginable. We both manage to accommodate each other.

Oh crikey, what a horrific way of making tea! Can you suggest that she makes her own if she's very particular? It seems rude to me, I wouldn't ever specify HOW someone made me tea, but on the other hand you are family and if she's seeing you a lot she might want things a certain way. There's no way I would have fished bacon out of the grill though. I would have said "ok, I'll remember that for next time".

I make my tea like that. It’s not disgusting actually, just different to how you like it

crazychemist She actually said that FIL wouldn't eat it grilled, so I didn't really have a choice. He'd already said yes to a bacon sandwich and that was all the bacon I had.

DollyMcDolly Would you actually stop someone making that way in their own home though and instruct them to do it your way? It's a cup of tea, just a cup of tea!

Have found my teapot out now. Have realised that MIL can out her milk in first, last or midway through pouring if I use that!

...can PUT her milk in...

She sounds very rude. She's not even drinkingptper tea so why be picky about it ffs?