Please bring me down!

[juddyrockingcloggs]

So, this will be a long one, sorry.

I suppose I'm chuntering on here because I don't want to say all this to my husband because it will get his hopes up too and I don't want to do that to him.

I need some advise to bring me back down to Earth a bit.

I have one son (6 years old) who is the result of 6 rounds of ICSI and immune treatment (clexane, high dose folic, prednisolone steroids) Our infertility issues are as follows - my husband had undescended testicles as a baby and the operation to correct this wasn't performed until he 3 years old, he has an EXTREMELY low sperm count with EXTREMELY low motility and our fertility consultant advised us that because his operation was performed so late this is the reason for his sperm count being so poor. Secondly I have MTHFR homozygous gene mutation, elevated ANAs and also a slight issue with my blood coagulation (sticky blood), I have no other issues with my fertility ie ovulation etc.

Me and my husband have never got pregnant naturally in the 18 years that we have been together.

After having our much longed for son and paying over £50k to get him we have just in the last few years got our head around the fact that we will not be giving him a sibling. We have taken him to some amazing places around the world and materialistically and attention wise etc he is a very lucky boy. He is our world.

For the last 2 years I have been on co-cymprindiol (dianette) for adult acne, about 4 months ago I came off that because I would have needed to by the time I was 35 (October) anyway.

So, I had a period in October as was normal, and at the end of November I had a strange day or two where I had brown bleeding very light and then that's it. Nothing since.

Now, as is always at the back of someone's mind when you would love another baby but knew you would never achieve it I have got 'the feels'.

What I would like to know is before I rush out to buy 80 grands worth of first response tests and building my fucking hopes up all over again for the first time in years, I would like to know if anyone has had first hand success with getting pregnant naturally with such poor fertility? Or do I just slap myself round the face and ignore it.

AIBU to even think that yes miracles could happen and risk sending me down a road that I have travelled so many times with no success. Only to end up heartbroken again.

Just to avoid drip-feeding when I say that my husband has an extremely low sperm count we're not talking low millions or even high thousands, we're talking five or six per sample.

Do I test and risk being destroyed again (because as stupid as it is I'm already visualising an happy ending) or I do just forget it all, wonder where the fuck my period has gone and continue on my merry way.

Sorry for boring you all.

After two years of unexplained secondary infertility and subsequent rounds of failed IVF, at 42 I got pregnant after having sex precisely once in the space of 6 weeks. It can happen, but as you know, it’s highly unlikely. Just test. You will not be any more or any less pregnant if you do.

Really feel for you Juddy, hand holding here - I would test, just to have done it. The longer you leave it, hoping for a miracle, the more it's going to hurt.

(I am keeping everything crossed for you and praying for a miracle for you though)

Another one here to hold your hand. Go get a test - just one - and see what it says. Best to get it over with than spend the next few weeks wondering if by chance a miracle has happened.

Goodluck. You need to know one way or another.

Assume the worst op (and hope for the best)
Only testing will relieve your stress and put your mind at ease.
however going by your dates you would maybe be experiencing some symptoms by now.
I do have a friend who after ivf got pregnant naturally..... It is possible!
Wishing you all the best.

For you OP

I would test just to be able to take folic acid etc if needs be. But I would do one test and believe it.

In saying that, my friend had a child with her husband whose sperm count was so low he was told “it would take a miracle for you to father a child”. They TTC for years again after their son. They adopted a child and she found out she was expecting 4 months later. So they have three wonderful children. Miracles do happen and I am so hoping for you to have one too.

You need to take the test, if only to give you peace of mind. A big hand hold from me

I hope you get a happy outcome but hand holding I’ve just had a chemical pregnancy and spent a fortune on tests so I understand the reluctance to test!

You are all the loveliest people!

I was expecting to be told I was living in cloud cuckoo land - which I am but at least none of you have said it!

I am work until 2.30, I shall go and get a test and at least I will know for sure.

I hate this, I thought I was passed it and would never have to feel this way again and it's here trying to raises its ugly head all over again.

I am happy with my son, he is amazing and all I could hope for but you know what, it really would have been lovely.

Stupid body.

Oh op. I understand the mind fuck of pregnancy tests. I've been ttc for 4 years, one miscarriage. I used to do test after test. I don't bother anymore. I know it will be negative.
If it were me I probably wouldn't bother testing. However for you if you need to take certain medications it makes sense to.
I really hope you are. Thinking of you

I have my fingers crossed for you. If I were you I wouldn't bring the test home, if possible do it in a shopping centre toilet. Minimise the wait.

I really hope you get the news you want, OP.

I’m keep my fingers crossed it is the good news you hope for x

You need to take a test. And there are tales of people being married 16 years or so and giving up even trying and then getting pregnant. Or having one child and trying to get pregnant again for years and nothing. And then years later they're pregnant. So it's certainly very possible.

It is possible and I really hope you get a positive test this afternoon.

Fingers crossed for you OP but be kind to yourself if it's a no.

I wish you all the best having had a similar situation- as others have said be kind to yourself whatever the outcome

Good luck op I hope it is a positive!

It's possible but unlikely op. You will just drive yourself mad until you test though. Best of luck.

Get thee a test and good luck!

I hope you get the answer you want.

Unusual things like this can happen after issues ttc first time round and nobody knows for sure why. Worth a test to know either way or you will feel this way til next period anyway.

One way or another you need to know so I think you are doing the right thing.