Friday drinks ?

[imgettingtoooldforthis]

I work in the city, husband does not. On a Friday my team gets to leave early to go to the pub - bit of team bonding, boss will
shout us drinks. No more than 2/3 rounds max. We have SS eow, DH plays sport on a Friday night. DH has asked for me not to go to the pub and to take advantage of getting to leave work early. However the reason I get to leave early is to socialise (some people drink others don't so it's not forced) DH doesn't want me coming home tipsy (2 glasses of wine or beer) and then looking after SS (who is old enough to look after himself ) while he goes to play sport. (Btw he has 2 beers after with the boys) I'm never home late which would make him late or arrive home intoxicated. I like going, it's a nice way to end the week. Is he being unreasonable or should I put my family first ?

He is definitely being unreasonable. Dss is his responsibility

Ss is his responsibility. Fuck that.

He wants you to come home early and not have a drink, so you can look after his kid while he plays sport and then goes for a drink?

Tell him that's hilarious. As if!

How old is the child

I would stay longer in the pub if I were you.

Let OH sort his own son out.

Lol is he for real

He's having a laugh.

YANBU, your DH on the other hand is.
It's not as if a drink or two renders you incapable. Many parents and step parents will have a few drinks when looking after their kids.
If he doesn't like it, he should pass on his activity, not expect you to give up yours.

FUCK. THAT.

Fuck that.

He can stop playing his sport if he feels SS needs someone to be at home.

I would stay longer in the pub if I were you.

Yup!

Please don’t tell me the child is older than 7!

HIBU! He is the one who has scheduled his sports participation and his visitation with DSS so that they overlap. It's his job to figure out how to accommodate that overlap (Is there a different sports league he could join? Could DSS be enrolled in an after school club or go to a childminder for a few hours a week? Could DSS do fewer but longer visits so there's less pressure on Friday afternoons & evenings?). Asking you to give up half of your weekly relaxation/bonding time with work colleagues while he gives up none of his own sports/leisure time for his own son is not a reasonable solution. Especially since he goes for a couple of beers himself after doing his sport!

You aren't "not putting your family first" by going to drinks with your team from work any more than he is "not putting his family first" by choosing to participate in a weekly sports activity on the day his son comes to visit!

Wow he's taking the piss.

Your OH is a CF, and it's him who should be putting his family first.

SS is 10, so doesn't need much looking after - but it still leaves me to hear endless football/fifa tales. (When I want to watch trash telly and drink wine lol - lighthearted as I like spending some 1on 1 time with him) Feed him (arrange food for DH when he gets back, run bath etc) or pay for pizza. When my DH gets a night out with the boys essentially.... when I've cut my night short. Sometimes I get stressed getting back and end up having to jump in an Uber so as not to be late ! He can't/won't change nights as they are only play on a Friday here and it's the team his mates play in. He won't take SS as it's too much of an adult environment- swearing, going to the pub after etc.

Ugh. Your partner is a selfish, childish dick.

If you don't go to the pub, are you actually allowed to leave early? As you've been allowed to leave work early to spend time with team?

Either way, your DP is being a dick. Not your responsibility to change your life to suit him, especially to facilitate him going out with the lads! Cheeky fucker.

He's totally unreasonable

Ss is his responsibility not yours

Think of SS. He has a selfish father, you might consider compensating as a decent step mother. Just don’t give up your Friday team time, it sounds like you’ve got a boss worth having.

He’s a comedian.

If your husband wants HIS child to be looked after on a Friday night, then he can do it.

Don't stop going to the pub. What time would you typically get in, and what time would DH typically go out?

If it's an overlap of eG 1.5 hours, depending on how independent the child is, could dh not organise him a pizza and film, he gets to munch and watch TV. You get in after the pub, don't need to sort out food. Have a little chat, then send him off for a short/ whatever
Then he can go to bed and you can watch trash TV with a glad of wine. Then DH can come in, sort out his own food (or grab something already when he's out)

I'm not impressed with you bring expected to not go to the pub but just add bad is being expected
To look after as
Sort out his dinner
Run him a bath ( he's 10! He can do that)
Then sort out DH dinner. It's a non-stop list of cores you running around after the males.

A ten year old can be alone for a bit, a grown man can sort his own food out. If DH doesn't agree, he can miss rugby one a fortnight, or just go later after the match for a few drinks.

God loves a trier!

Enjoy your drinks!x

What a piss take!

Besides him being a selfish goat regarding your needs with the limited time he gets to see his son you would think he would actually want to spend it with him not out playing sport and drinking? He can go out eow when he doesn't have to parent.