Friday drinks ?

[imgettingtoooldforthis]

I work in the city, husband does not. On a Friday my team gets to leave early to go to the pub - bit of team bonding, boss will
shout us drinks. No more than 2/3 rounds max. We have SS eow, DH plays sport on a Friday night. DH has asked for me not to go to the pub and to take advantage of getting to leave work early. However the reason I get to leave early is to socialise (some people drink others don't so it's not forced) DH doesn't want me coming home tipsy (2 glasses of wine or beer) and then looking after SS (who is old enough to look after himself ) while he goes to play sport. (Btw he has 2 beers after with the boys) I'm never home late which would make him late or arrive home intoxicated. I like going, it's a nice way to end the week. Is he being unreasonable or should I put my family first ?

This is classic DH’s sport and man time being more important. He’s lucky you don’t stay for the full evening.

I hope you don't have kids with this man OP.

Not only has he shown you his priorities regarding his children but is also controlling.

You have seen his true colours.
He sees his one "eow" - so that's two and a half days out of fourteen.

And during that limited time he chooses to go to the pub.
That's not the mark of a good father.
He is also asking you to scoop up this responsibility for him at your expense.
That's not the mark of a good partner.

Time for a rethink.

Well if he didn’t have you as a free live in nanny he would have to sort out childcare for his own child on the very limited time he has him.
This is a classic example of women being expected to do all the wifework because they are ...you know...the less important sex.

Oh dear. YADNBU.
However much you are a good stepmum, SS contact is with his father and his father needs to step up.
Does the kid not mind his dad going out instead of being at home with him?

This is almost funny!

So I’m assuming that if you had a child that he would forego his sports night to look after the child while you go to your works drink For the duration.

Because this is essentially what he’s asking you to do. Ask him if the tables were turned if he would do it?

so he is actively choosing to play sport rather than spend time with his son

I would stay at the pub til closing time tbh

Is it beyond the wit of your husband to find a babysitter for an hour or so to cover the gap between him going out and you getting home? That’s what I’d do.

He should stay home when his SS is around.
Agree with other posters it's a poor show in terms of his parenting skills. If you have your own kids, make sure you go in with your eyes wide open. Hes showing you exactly the type of father he is NOW. Observe. Would you want this for your own DC?

Wow. How did you not ligh in his face?

Seriously though, how did you react?

Ligh = laugh

OP if I only saw my child for 2 and a half days a fortnight I would be wanting to use every second of that time to make sure we were having good quality time together.
Not fuck off to the pub like your OH is doing.

I suspect most posters on this thread would feel the same.
I would have a deep disrespect for a man that treated his child like this.

I might have just realised how controlling he is. Had a client in town tonight so had to have a couple of drinks after work. I let DH know, he asked me to bring in additional supplies for diner ( to make it nice) he has been texting me asking when I'll be home as he is hungry ..... btw he has a car and access to shops ...

I think you've seen the light OP!

The CF I would tell him to do one it’s his responsibility

Hidbu! However, both of you could compromise and take turns going or staying

Why not just say 'not sure what time I'll be home, why don't you pick up the bits so you're not waiting on me'. The reaction will tell you a lot. I agree with pp he only sees his child eow he shouldn't be dumping him to go out with the boys, he can see them eow too!

Wow I am so shocked by his behaviour! And the fact that you had to ask who was being unreasonable! I hope the scales have well and truly fallen from your eyes.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Is the correct response.

Will he be in First? Would be make the dinner? Or does he sit at home hungry and expect you to cook for him when he gets in? Tell him you're too tired to go to the shops, and you just fancy something simple.

OP did you go to get the additional supplies?

He needs to pay a sitter, or could his parents have some time with their grand child until his Dad gets home?

I just read your second post.

Sounds to me like he is starting to try to isolate you, wants you just at work or home. That is not a good sign.

He reminds me of my ex ( note the EX).

I had a well paid high pressured job and on a Friday evening a 5 hour drive home.
OH told me earlier that he would cook an evening meal for us.
I looked forward to a home cooked meal on my return ( a rare occurence)
Our kitchen was always well stocked, I knew we had loads of veg- peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, garlic, ginger, there was steak and mince and chicken breasts, loads of pasta, noodles, soy sauce, spices- you get the picture.
So I get in at 9pm, turns out no food. He had decided to cook a chicken dish but needed flaked almonds.
He didn't drive ( despite being a Post Doc at a large University) and was waiting for me to get home so I could go to the late supermarket to buy almonds.

Like an idiot I went out and bought the almonds.

That was before I grew up.

I picked up the supplies ... took an Uber home(again was worried about being late but got him to drop me at the end of the road). He hardly talked to me, I couldn't get one of the things he requested so dinner was bland due to this, didn't even ask if I'd had a nice time etc. he hadn't even started supper when I came in at 8pm. Now eaten - still no chat, so I've packed myself to bed w**nker !