Friday drinks ?

[imgettingtoooldforthis]

I work in the city, husband does not. On a Friday my team gets to leave early to go to the pub - bit of team bonding, boss will
shout us drinks. No more than 2/3 rounds max. We have SS eow, DH plays sport on a Friday night. DH has asked for me not to go to the pub and to take advantage of getting to leave work early. However the reason I get to leave early is to socialise (some people drink others don't so it's not forced) DH doesn't want me coming home tipsy (2 glasses of wine or beer) and then looking after SS (who is old enough to look after himself ) while he goes to play sport. (Btw he has 2 beers after with the boys) I'm never home late which would make him late or arrive home intoxicated. I like going, it's a nice way to end the week. Is he being unreasonable or should I put my family first ?

Sorry, But he sounds like a tit. Do you have kids together?

He wants you to stop socialising followed by a few beers and look after HIS kid in order that HE can socialise and have a few beers. Can’t he see the irony?

@imgettingtoooldforthis but why does he get a say on what you spend your salary on? And why hide it? Can you see how messed up this is?

so needs to play weekly

No he doesn't .

This is a choice he makes. This is not a need.

oh my word, the more you post the bigger knob he is becoming. Gets booked because he goads the other players, won't let the lads down but happy to let us so down. Is controlling, jealous and sulks if he doesn't get sex. And left his gf when she was pg.

Tell me OP, what d you see in him? Sorry if I am sounding harsh bt life is too short.

Are you serious op? Not only is he asking you to let your team down, but he's letting his own dc down. If he wasn't married to you he'd have no choice but to be there for his own child.

He's incredibly controlling and manipulative. Why are you with him? Also, you work, you're entitled to spend your own bloody money on an Uber. I'm guessing his beers at the pub aren't free!

I don't think the 'it's his son' argument is a valid one. If you are in a relationship with someone who has a child from another relationship and you are now part of this child's life, you have an obligation to nurture that child and make sure they have the most secure life ever growing up in a blended family

no you don't. And this isn't a blended family.

Huge fight again ..... because I've been out.

Ok
So in all seriousness who do you go about leaving someone .....

A solicitor?

Do you have family you can stay with or a friend?

He is a twat. You really don’t have to be with him, you have choices.

Imagine another 10 years with him...he'll just drain every ounce of confidence and independence out of you.

Leaving is definitely the right thing to do

Tonight I don't have anyone .... we live overseas

Do you have access to joint funds OP? And do you have your own funds? If you have a joint account take out your share.
You need to gather together everything you need All documents, passports etc.

He's gone to bed in our bed ..... I don't want to sleep anywhere else. We have 2 spare bed rooms, ss's room, living room sofa, den sofa, theatre sofa ...... I want my bed !!!Where do I go ?

I have my passport, DH has all the money. He pays all bills, saving, mortgage etc .... when I get my salary we just split it - that's our fun money ....

Does your salary go into your own account or a joint account?

When you say "OH has all the money" what do you mean? How are you paid?

So you don't have access to all money?

I get paid my salary, then bank transfer half to DH. Everything else is paid out of DH's account .......

Well that's good. What about savings? In his name alone? Do you own the house?

Joint mortgage- all the cash deposit was me

You will need a lawyer for this I am afraid.

Try to get some sleep now.

Things will be resolved, you have made the biggest step already in making this decision.

I can't sleep .... too painful

Emotionally painful?

OP I'm really enraged on your behalf. He is a dick.

Yip wide wake with the rage ...