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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a city break leaving behind sick baby

231 replies

Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:18

Sigh, I kinda know I am...
Meant to be going on a city break this weekend with friends and family. Flight booked. 18mo has come down today with a bug, hot, clingy, just not well. I work full-time so I'm not even going to be there much to comfort him before the weekend. He doesn't sleep as a rule (wakes 3-4 times), won't accept dh at night, still feeds and I was desperately looking forward to a weekend away to SLEEP, have a drink, spend some time with a sibling whose having a hard time. And also hopefully let dh make a start on night-weaning (again) without milky boobs mum (he is only too happy to delegate almost all night responsibility to me on basis "he can't comfort baby" - he can but we always seem to slip back to me doing it all).
Anyways I can't really put a sick baby through the stress of that, can I? Think I know the answer...

OP posts:
RachelDW · 19/01/2018 20:09

I know why you feel like you do, I would feel the same - mummy guilt is a terrible thing! But go - he has his dad and it'll probably be good for both of them and their relationship. He's not a tiny baby, he'll be fine with his daddy. Enjoy!

livefornaps · 19/01/2018 20:26

Hooraaaaaayyyy!!!

berni140 · 19/01/2018 21:57

I have missed out on so many things due to sick kids, including two hens and a wedding, both of extremely close friends. Afterwards I thought there wasn't much difference, hubby could have dealt with it all, it's more your peace of mind. So if Id been away DH would have gotten through it. They're honestly stronger than you think. You sound like you need it, and you're going to help someone out, it all boils down to will you feel too guilty

Strygil · 19/01/2018 22:18

You are a woman and a mother - what other justifications do you need for doing precisely what you like?

Glittered · 19/01/2018 22:19

Difficult one but you sound like you need a break.
I work nights 12 hour shifts and it's typical that I've just had a week off at home. 19 month old has been fine happy healthy. Go back to work tomorrow night and as of tonight she's miserable high temps clingy etc. Just typical.
But I can't not go to work can I? I know it's not the same as a weekend away but I'll be sleeping during the day so her dad will just have to cope
Maybe get your little checked at walk in centre just before you go for peace of mind and make sure there's plenty of Calpol in at home then go and enjoy your break xx

Abbylee · 19/01/2018 22:26

I could not do it. Would want to be there with my milky boobs. But i was a babysat kid. You obviously already made your choice and wanted mn to say "go!"

dorislessingscat · 19/01/2018 22:52

Really glad you went. I can't believe some of the attempted emotional blackmail on this thread!

squoosh · 19/01/2018 22:55

You mean you left your toddler in the care of his parent? Outrageous!

Mafrid2 · 20/01/2018 02:02

You really need to go, your sibling needs you and you and your partner need to affirm that he will be fine with the little one alone. It will do you all the world of good xxx I know it's hard leaving it up to someone else but they will both be fine 😉

squoosh · 20/01/2018 02:13

I could not do it. Would want to be there with my milky boobs. But i was a babysat kid

'Babysat' by your father?

worrierandwine · 20/01/2018 08:05

OP I’m so glad you got to go on your break, I completely understand your turmoil over leaving, our situation is virtually the same. I have no weekend away but have a 20 month old DD2 who loves the boob (never wanted a dummy or bottle) and a DH who uses the exact same lines as yours! You are in a slightly better position as I am still co-sleeping due to BF convenience (and laziness on our parts to get her in her own cot!) Tried first night in her own room and after I had already been through to re-settle I sent DH in the second time, he was in there maybe 30 seconds before declaring there was nothing he could do and I would have to go in. I genuinely think the only way that toddler will go through the night is if I am away for a few days. I’m at the point now where I want to stop BF but the boobs are such a comfort to her when poorly, teething etc that I’m still reluctant to commit to it. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and good luck with getting baby off boob!
P.S - DH was also much more helpful and involved with DD1 and though he denies this I think he knows deep down that it’s true.

Somersetter · 20/01/2018 13:15

So glad you went. Have a great weekend 🎉

cheval · 20/01/2018 21:09

With the benefit of hindsight and my kids now quite old, I would definitely go! Child will survive with his dad. I was bit of a control freak. Now recognise that is not helpful. Enjoy yourself if you do go for it.

TimeforCupcakes · 21/01/2018 00:47

If baby is with Dad I don't see a problem x

Lweji · 21/01/2018 11:12

The weekend will be over soon. Looking forward to the post-weekend advice. Grin

How did it go, OP?

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 22/01/2018 12:14

It went well! The baby woke up a couple of times while I was away but not more than normal and they all seemed to get on v well. My boobs were not swollen at all, which indicates the little monkey is just sucking for comfort anyway! I'm afraid I've taken the decision that's it for BF, feel a little sad as that's the last but it really hasn't been working for me the last few months. He was a little upset he couldn't BF last night but hope he'll be fine soon - and he slept slightly better (2 rather than 5 wake ups).
And I had a fantastic bonding weekend with my siblings and we all had a brilliant time!

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 22/01/2018 12:16

Sounds like it was for the best all round! Don’t worry, he’ll get used to it. So glad you had a great time!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 22/01/2018 12:16

This weekend? He will most likely be well by then. Go!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 22/01/2018 12:17

Oops didn't rtt. Glad all was well OP.

Rebeccaslicker · 22/01/2018 12:46

Great update OP! Don't feel sad about breast feeding - you've done amazingly!

worrierandwine · 22/01/2018 12:46

Brill, that's great news OP. All I have to do to is organise a girly weekend and I might get our little terror sleeping better and not attacking me for boob!

Motoko · 22/01/2018 12:57

Glad you went and had a good time.

It's easier to stop BF by going away for a couple of days, because you can't give in when they're winging in the middle of the night! It's normal to feel a little sad about it, as it's the end of that part of your child's life, like starting school, and it all goes by so quickly. You'll both get used to it soon though, and it will give both you and DS a little more freedom.

Lweji · 22/01/2018 13:06

When I stopped bf when DS was 13 months, I thought it would be harder. He just took a bottle and then water, then nothing and it was fine.

Most of the problems are often in our heads. :)

Borderterrierpuppy · 22/01/2018 14:11

So happy you went and had a great time!

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 22/01/2018 14:35

So glad you went and had a good time! Hope you’ve come back feeling refreshed Flowers