Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a city break leaving behind sick baby

231 replies

Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:18

Sigh, I kinda know I am...
Meant to be going on a city break this weekend with friends and family. Flight booked. 18mo has come down today with a bug, hot, clingy, just not well. I work full-time so I'm not even going to be there much to comfort him before the weekend. He doesn't sleep as a rule (wakes 3-4 times), won't accept dh at night, still feeds and I was desperately looking forward to a weekend away to SLEEP, have a drink, spend some time with a sibling whose having a hard time. And also hopefully let dh make a start on night-weaning (again) without milky boobs mum (he is only too happy to delegate almost all night responsibility to me on basis "he can't comfort baby" - he can but we always seem to slip back to me doing it all).
Anyways I can't really put a sick baby through the stress of that, can I? Think I know the answer...

OP posts:
mamabearsy · 17/01/2018 21:37

If daddy is home- go go go and enjoy some well deserved rest!

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:40

Would cost a lot to change the flights - I've considered trying to change the Friday afternoon flight to Saturday but surely would be expensive. And when should I make that call (when's too late with Ryanair?). Flight gets back at 3pm Sunday.

OP posts:
Farmerswife36 · 17/01/2018 21:40

I wouldn't go but I'd not judge you at all for going.

Believeitornot · 17/01/2018 21:41

I wouldn’t go.

But a part of me thinks that if it was the other way around would you want dh to stay or go? This should be a wake up call to your dh to step up more. You work full time for goodness sake.

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:43

Hmmm, could fly out Saturday morning for 77e (if booked now). But no guarantee he would be better and is a long way for just one night.

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 17/01/2018 21:45

Go OP. Your child has 2 parents who are perfectly capable of minding him. Do not change your flights, going for 1 night is daft.

FinallyHere · 17/01/2018 21:48

While i see it's a tough decision, but honestly, if you don't go, the message you are sending is that the father isn't all that with the child, that mother is better, best. How do you feel about that?

MiserableAsSin · 17/01/2018 21:50

Honestly I'm one of those annoying mums who rarely leave a sick baby but you bloody well deserve this and you should absolutely go , enjoy it and don't feel guilty !

C0untDucku1a · 17/01/2018 21:50

I was going to sat you wede being unreasonable as i assumed you meant weekend with dh! But if baby is being left you baby’s father, go!!

Tink2007 · 17/01/2018 21:51

If it were me I wouldn’t go (I am a neurotic worrier) but that said there is still another few hours of this evening and another 48 hours before you are due to go. DS could be tons better by then.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 17/01/2018 21:51

Definitely go. Those kind of fevery bugs only last 1-2 days ime. And even if not he will be being comforted by his dad.

defineme · 17/01/2018 21:52

He will be fine, I had 3 under 3 and wouldn't have crossed my mind to not leave them with dh in similar situation... They can never be as good at the caring stuff unless they're given space and opportunity.

Creasey31 · 17/01/2018 21:56

You should go if you want too, why shouldn’t his Dad look after him. It will only make him appreciate you more. Your baby will get used to his Dad more and you will catch a break.

Flappyears · 17/01/2018 21:56

I’d so definitely go. Having your own space makes you a much better parent. You’ll go back with more to give. Being burnt out contributes nothing to the family. By going you’re also showing your dh that you trust him to cope. Have fun!

stickytoffeevodka · 17/01/2018 21:56

Go.

He's with his dad, he'll be fine.

OneMoreOne · 17/01/2018 22:01

Go OP. Your child has 2 parents who are perfectly capable of minding him. Do not change your flights, going for 1 night is daft.

This^

You are equal, responsible parents. Would your DH leave him alone with you? Of course.

Go, enjoy and support your sibling!

FancyNewBeesly · 17/01/2018 22:01

I couldn't do it personally in the circumstances you've outlined - that's not to say I don't think you should, but I don't think I could. If your baby was more used to getting comfort from your DH, that would be different. And if he's so reliant on you for comfort, and you're trying to break that habit, I would a) start with a shorter trial (of a few hours, or one night where you're close by) and b) not when theyre sick and struggling more than usual. That would be my thinking anyway. I get it - I have twins who are almost 1.5 and I haven't had a night out even since they were born, let alone a proper nights sleep so I wouldn't judge you at all if you went. I just know I would probably chicken out and stay!

MsWanaBanana · 17/01/2018 22:01

TBH I think it will do both of you the world of good if you go. You need this break and baby needs to get used to daddy being there as well as you. He’ll be fine and hubby will cope. Go and enjoy

pinkcarpet · 17/01/2018 22:02

I had to go to an event recently that involved being away for 3 days and 3 nights and the day before I was due to go DD came down with chicken pox. After much deliberation I did go, but changed my flights so was only away 2 days and 1 night. DH coped valiantly but DD really just wanted mum and hardly slept the whole time I was away. When I got home at midnight on the 2nd day she was still awake and the look I got was pure relief to say “thank you for coming home”. If you’ll worry about DC while being away it’ll spoil the trip so I would personally only go if you’re totally happy DH can and will step up. Sounds like he needs a reason to do that so this could be the perfect excuse for both of you to change your roles a little.

thethoughtfox · 17/01/2018 22:04

This will be a wonderful bonding experience for them. Dad will remember this time fondly forever (once he gets through it)

Slartybartfast · 17/01/2018 22:05

it will be good for their bonding and good for your soul

WantToFeelFabulous · 17/01/2018 22:06

Yeah I'm as soft as anything and even I think you should go. He will be with his dad and it sounds like you really need this! Also can be a good starting point for changing the bedtime routine.
Go and have a lovely time!!

Mustardnowletsnotbesilly · 17/01/2018 22:07

I wouldn't go but largely because I know I wouldn't enjoy myself for worrying about the baby.

AnathemaPulsifer · 17/01/2018 22:07

Go! It’s just a cold, your DS needs to man up.

fruitbrewhaha · 17/01/2018 22:10

Go, don't change the flight to saturday morning, you'll have no time there.
He will be fine with his Dad. It will be good for them both.
No one would query a bloke going away and leaving two small kids with a mum would they?