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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a city break leaving behind sick baby

231 replies

Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:18

Sigh, I kinda know I am...
Meant to be going on a city break this weekend with friends and family. Flight booked. 18mo has come down today with a bug, hot, clingy, just not well. I work full-time so I'm not even going to be there much to comfort him before the weekend. He doesn't sleep as a rule (wakes 3-4 times), won't accept dh at night, still feeds and I was desperately looking forward to a weekend away to SLEEP, have a drink, spend some time with a sibling whose having a hard time. And also hopefully let dh make a start on night-weaning (again) without milky boobs mum (he is only too happy to delegate almost all night responsibility to me on basis "he can't comfort baby" - he can but we always seem to slip back to me doing it all).
Anyways I can't really put a sick baby through the stress of that, can I? Think I know the answer...

OP posts:
tabbywabby · 18/01/2018 15:00

It’s just a cold, your DS needs to man up.
Did you actually mean to say 'man up' in relation to an 18 month old little boy? Confused

kaytee87 · 18/01/2018 15:01

An 18 month old manning up Grin got to be the funniest thing I've ever read on here. Assuming it's a joke...

KalaLaka · 18/01/2018 15:02

bonnymnemonic completely agree.

If he's better, go. If not, it would be unkind to try night weaning when he's ill. Could be very stressful for him, and will probably longer. Took me 3/4 nights with a well baby.

Lweji · 18/01/2018 15:04

Fingers crossed he will be better (and probably will).

Think of this weekend as an opportunity for baby and dad to bond and for dad to become more hands on.

kaytee87 · 18/01/2018 15:04

@bonnymnemonic you said it was effectively the same situation for ds. It's not, he will be in his own home with a resident parent and sibling.
In the op it mentions night weaning again I took from that it had been done before and this wouldn't be the first time.

fruitbrewhaha · 18/01/2018 15:05

So, that's great news.

Out of interest where are you heading to? Somewhere a bit warmer?

FrenchJunebug · 18/01/2018 15:09

Go and do not feel bad about it!

KitKaty · 18/01/2018 15:12

I think it sounds like a bonding opportunity for DH and baby!
BUT if the guilt will ruin your trip then don't go.

Clandestino · 18/01/2018 15:16

Your DH wouldn't even think about it - most men wouldn't, honestly.
Go. It's your weekend, your DS has his Dad.
And also a good time to quit breastfeeding. If you are working full-time, this can be really tough on you and your sleep.

deadringer · 18/01/2018 15:16

Go go go go go go go. Go! It will do you a world of good, and as pp have said your baby has two parents. It would be different if baby was a newborn but at 18 months he will cope without you and perhaps your absence will show your dh that he is perfectly capable of caring for his own child.

notangelinajolie · 18/01/2018 15:39

Dads can look after sick babies too. My DH would be perfectly able to care for a baby on his own. In fact he did when I was in hospital for nearly a month. Go if you believe he can manage but don't go if you are unsure - you are not going to enjoy your break if you spend the whole time worrying.

Jigglytuff · 18/01/2018 16:05

Even if he wasn't sick I was facing the risk of dh trying to ring me during the night if he wouldn't settle so I'm worried that will happen

Tell your husband that the only possible reason for him to ring you in the night is if your DS is seriously ill and you need to come home now. FFS, he's his father. Time to get his big boy pants on.

Thebluedog · 18/01/2018 18:38

I agree with Jiggly

123bananas · 18/01/2018 18:56

When dd2 was 18 months I was in hospital for 2 months with pregnancy complications. She was very poorly with repeated tonsillitis and breathing difficulties. DH just had to cope with support from family at points. Up until I went into hospital suddenly I was a SAHP and did all the night wakes. DH just had to manage somehow. Luckily she had just stopped breastfeeding of her own accord due to my milk changing.

Though I did do cold turkey on night feeds at a similar age with dd1 and DH went in every night for a week and just offered water. Worked well.

I now work nights regularly and DH manages with 3 children who can all be ill at the same time. Time your DH stepped up and found his own ways to settle him. Mine wraps them up inside his dressing gown in the 'Daddy Pouch', cuddles them and sings nursery rhymes.

dontbesillyhenry · 18/01/2018 19:08

The day before I was due to go abroad for the weekend last year DS age 1 was diagnosed with a chest infection. I must be evil as it never crossed my mind to cancel- I knew DH would look after him as well as I could and would take him back for medical attention if needed. Please enjoy your break

Borderterrierpuppy · 18/01/2018 19:25

Go!go!
I night weaned my 20 month boob monster by going away for a week , they will all survive.
You and your sister deserve it .

user1495997773 · 18/01/2018 20:28

Go Go Go!! you deserve this break X

savingmysanity · 18/01/2018 20:33

pack your suitcase and go

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 19/01/2018 10:14

I'm going! Toddler is teething, and woke a lot last night, but no temperature this morning. And really dh needs to be able to settle him at night before I break!

OP posts:
Jigglytuff · 19/01/2018 10:20

Yes he does!

Have an absolutely awesome weekend - sleep until lunchtime :)

WineWednesdays · 19/01/2018 10:21

Glad you are going. Have a lovely time and a good rest. X

newmumwithquestions · 19/01/2018 10:23

Have a lovely time

NSEA · 19/01/2018 10:25

If baby had got sick whilst away what would your dh do?

Of course you can go. And don’t feel guilty either!

TheEagle · 19/01/2018 10:30

Have a great time and mind your boobs too!

If they feel hot or sore reach for something with pseudoephedrine (Sudafed/Nurofen cold&flu) or some cabbage leaves.

You might need to pump a little if he’s still feeding so frequently.

Enjoy!

Pannacott · 19/01/2018 10:39

Yay! Good job. Have a brilliant time WineGrin

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