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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a city break leaving behind sick baby

231 replies

Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 21:18

Sigh, I kinda know I am...
Meant to be going on a city break this weekend with friends and family. Flight booked. 18mo has come down today with a bug, hot, clingy, just not well. I work full-time so I'm not even going to be there much to comfort him before the weekend. He doesn't sleep as a rule (wakes 3-4 times), won't accept dh at night, still feeds and I was desperately looking forward to a weekend away to SLEEP, have a drink, spend some time with a sibling whose having a hard time. And also hopefully let dh make a start on night-weaning (again) without milky boobs mum (he is only too happy to delegate almost all night responsibility to me on basis "he can't comfort baby" - he can but we always seem to slip back to me doing it all).
Anyways I can't really put a sick baby through the stress of that, can I? Think I know the answer...

OP posts:
dingdongdigeridoo · 17/01/2018 22:11

Just go! A couple of years ago I was supposed to spend 3 nights in Venice. The day before, my DS was sent home from school with a temperature and vomiting. I had a massive wobble and just couldn't leave my PFB. Well, about 2 hours after I was supposed to have left he was absolutely fine, running around the house like a loon, and it was too late for me to go.

In your circumstances, it also sounds like it might be good for DH to do some night time feeds etc.

MuseumOfCurry · 17/01/2018 22:12

I wouldn't go because I wouldn't enjoy it, but I think your husband can and should deal with it.

LadyLapsang · 17/01/2018 22:13

In a similar situation I didn't go - they are only little for such a short time. Having said that, I wouldn't judge you at all. When we see fathers posting threads such as this we will know we have equality, until then....

MrsMaisel · 17/01/2018 22:13

Best interests of the child: stay home. Your baby is already suffering. Be there for them.

WetsTheVet · 17/01/2018 22:15

God yes I'd go. They will cope.

fruitbrewhaha · 17/01/2018 22:15

You have two nights to get DH to do more night time stuff.

quizqueen · 17/01/2018 22:15

So tell me why did you think it was a good idea to go away for the weekend when your partner is rubbish at looking after your child during the night! That's no excuse though, he should be doing an equal amount of stuff with the child when he's at home.

Twinkletoes2018 · 17/01/2018 22:16

My daughter developed her first tummy bug half an hour after I got on a train for my first girly weekend away. My husband managed fine, I'd have said not go if you were both going and leaving the baby with a friend or grandparent but as dad is there I think it's fine however only you will know on the morning of the trip if you feel able to leave x

PopGoesTheWeaz · 17/01/2018 22:17

I think you need to go and if you don't you are undermining your DHs parenting. Sounds like you really could use a break and that he could use the nudge to step up to the plate. Baby will be fine

Twinkletoes2018 · 17/01/2018 22:18

Ah just read won't accept DH at night, we don't have that problem so I understand your worry

fruitbrewhaha · 17/01/2018 22:18

He may be over the bug by Friday, kids recover quickly.

FinallyHere · 17/01/2018 22:19

when your partner is rubbish at looking after your child during the night!

You got good at looking after your child, because you had to, its time for him to have the same chance.

Somersetter · 17/01/2018 22:19

Go! I would also feel torn in your position but I really do think you should go.

Original poster
Phuquocdreams · 17/01/2018 22:19

If he worsens/is still as bad Friday morning then I think I'll cancel. I'm sure dh will be generally fine with him but it's a fair bit of time for me to be away in the circumstances. I actually have been away for a night - mum looked after him while we went to a wedding and managed way better than we all feared (he slept pretty much the whole night bizarrely) I was hoping for a similar type of miracle this weekend while I was away, but not if he's sick I fear!

OP posts:
CorbynsBumFlannel · 17/01/2018 22:20

Baby can be comforted by dad though. Mum is just more willing!
Go op and when you get back if your dc is difficult to settle you can tell because he's used to dad doing it now and he needs to do it!

MuseumOfCurry · 17/01/2018 22:21

I'm not surprised he slept better for your mother! He knows she won't BF him!

MiddleClassProblem · 17/01/2018 22:25

If I were you I’d pack ready to go but make the call on Friday morning. There’s no right or wrong here. If he’s really poorly he could be to tired to worry about it righter way though but he could be much better by then. Just play it by ear and discuss with DH. If you don’t get to go, try to book in some you time soon! Fingers crossed you get to go x

Leyani · 17/01/2018 22:26

I wouldn’t. If he already had a good relationship with dad, no issue, and I’d really work on that if I was you.

For me personally, I’d think the primary attachment figure disappearing when baby is ill and more needy isn’t great unless it’s an emergency.

I probably read too many child psychology books for work though!

Urubu · 17/01/2018 22:27

Go for it!
I went to a weekend in Paris and hours after I left both DT came up with a stomach bug. DH caught it as well but still managed. He didn't even let me know how bad it was until I came home, so as not to spoil my weekend Halo

ImAMarshmellow · 17/01/2018 22:32

Probably safer you going away. Would be a nightmare if both you and your dp got Ill, then who would look after the baby!

Baby will be fine.

greenlynx · 17/01/2018 22:34

Do you have only one child?

BelleandBeast · 17/01/2018 22:35

Your child will be fine with his other PARENT!

Enjoy!

FrankiesKnuckle · 17/01/2018 22:41

@Phuquocdreams great name, I spent my honeymoon on that island!

Anyways, go and have a break, you need it.
It might also go some way as to break the cycle of you always putting to bed etc. Kids learn and adapt very quickly

Where are you off to? Wink

jjune11 · 17/01/2018 22:41

Personally I wouldn't go, especially as bf is very comforting to a sick baby, but I can completely understand why you'd like to go and like you say, he'll be with his dad.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 17/01/2018 22:42

I wouldn't either given he's so dependent on you feed wise during the night and wouldn't leave a sick child for a break. Yes your DH is the other parent and would cope but a clingy sick baby who is still BF might get very distressed. Not an ideal time to start night weaning if sick.