Paid off mortgage

[iwant2know]

DH and I paid off our mortgage in November last year. We love our house, it's the perfect size for us and our 2 DSSs so we don't plan to move again.

We hadn't told anyone because it's no one else's business and we didn't want to come across as smug or up ourselves.

My dsis was over this morning and was in when a delivery person came to the door with flowers. I took them off the delivery person and put them on the coffee table and went back to the door to sign for them.

By the time I turned round Dsis had opened the card, which was from our bank congratulating us on paying off the mortgage. I didn't know they did this sort of thing.

Dsis got really upset, saying we should have told her, we hide this from her etc. For background she is older and has just started her mortgage after buying a house last year. She left shortly after.

I have just got back from lunch with a friend who I mentioned Dsis reaction to. She thinks we we're wrong not to tell people. We have acted like we have something to hide. Apparently everyone announces paying off their mortgages. It's a social niceity.

Aibu to think there is no hard and fast rule about this sort of thing? And we haven't done anything wrong.

She was intrusive. It's nobody's business. Money is private.

They used to have mortgage burning parties to celebrate though. I suppose I understand their point but still disagree.

What the effing hell has it got to do with anyone? Your dsis had no damn right opening the card, no damn right to suit her dummy out about it, or anything else!! People need to window their necks in and mind their OWN business. Ffs

Everyone announces paying off their mortgage. It's a social nicety

No it isn't. However, NOT opening & reading other people's cards IS a social nicety!

*spit her dummy out (damn auto correct)

Obviously it's your own business but it depends on how much you talk about this kind of stuff anyway. I discuss financial things with various family members pretty openly (salary, mortgage, investments etc.).

We paid our mortgage off about 10 years ago. We both worked very hard, saved every penny, didn't do holidays /new cars etc and managed to pay it in 9 years. It was a huge weight lifted as my husbands work is a contractor so he's out of work several times a year waiting for the next job (one of the main reasons we wanted to get it paid asap to take a bit of pressure off)! We have told a few family and friends but we didn't broadcast it, just if it's come up in conversation when we've been on nights out I. E. How much is your mortgage payment? Or how long have you got left on your mortgage? Usually asked when one of the group is in the process of buying a house. Our house isn't huge but it's perfect for us and I love the fact that we can now enjoy the additional money now we have kids, going on all those holidays we held back on for years. What frustrates me is that I now find friends (and some family) asking 'why don't you buy a bigger house? You don't have a mortgage so why don't you sell up and get something better?' 1. We've spent a fortune getting our house exactly as we want it. 2. We live in a nice area. 3 we're happy that we have one less thing to worry about 4. It's non of your business. Well done getting it paid off OP....it's no one else's business! !!!

Your sister shouldn’t have opened the card. That’s very wrong. It was addressed to you not her. Your finances aren’t her business but if she’s the type to open other peoples cards then she sounds nosey.

Congrats on paying your mortgage off

It is not normal to announce this. It's not normal not to mention it either. I might mention it to my mom or sister because I know they'd be chuffed for me. If a friend told me I might cringe a bitactually.

Either way it's up to you who you tell, or not.

I neeeeeeed to know who your mortgage was with. What a nice gesture from them

She was out of order reading your card. Rude.

We will pay ours off this year and I have another house with my son which we are thinking of paying off because if I do the rent could be part of a wage for me and I could cut down on days. Jobs getting harder and I'm getting older. Go to put the ducks in a row this year and see which route is best. I won't be telling anyone. I was always taught it was impolite to talk about money. She probably feels upset as she is just starting out but we can't have everything. One sister moans about her mortgage and how much it costs but they lived rent free for 10 years and bought there first house costing 500,000! Ours isn't worth that ours is semi cottage hers is four bedroom detached. We had four kids. It is all about choice. If she says anything more just turn around and tell her she shouldn't be so nosy opening other people's notes.

Nothing to do with anyone else and if someone I knew made a public announcement about paying their mortgage off I’d think they were odd.

It's got nothing to do with them! What's their problem?

She opened a card addressed to you?!!! That’s the only problem in this whole story.

Congratulations on your mortgage!!!!

I don't think the flowers are odd, our mortgage provider gave us a gift hamper when we took the mortgage for our new house.

Your sister was out of order - as others have said. Mine would do something similar and then make snidey comments, I too keep our family finances to DH and I.

I would set her straight, make it clear she is not to read your cards etc again. And your personal finances are private.

Never heard such utter garbage... rather think your sister is terribly jealous! Poor you. Utterly and profoundly absolutely no one elses' business at all! but well done you. xx

Your sister and friend are being VU. Your financial circumstances are none of their business. DH and I might pay ours off next month. If we do I might mention it to one or two very very close mates because it will be exciting and I might even buy them a drink to celebrate but apart from that I won't say a thing. Particularly as some of my friends are many years off being able to afford to do it and I wouldn't want to rub their noses in my good fortune.

I'm dying to know which bank this was...

It’s really, really not a thing to announce you’ve finished paying off your mortgage.

People post many things on fb and insta. I know of baby announcements, death announcements, missing cats, furious rants, even bowel habits - but I’ve never ever seen ‘Yay! Paid off the mortgage today!’

Why does your dsis even care? Are you supposed to now start helping all the rest of us pay off our mortgages? Is it viewed like a lottery win - down to chance rather than income/savings?

Bizarre

Your sister was so out of order for opening your private envelope!!
Your are quite right to make your own decisions about who to tell about your finances. Sister and friend are out of order.

Tweety2067
we paid ours off 3 years ago and was most disappointed there was no fuss made by the mortgage company (Nationwide)

LOL My SIL said the same thing, so I had a banner made up for her at work :)

All you people with no mortgages: make sure you keep your insurance up to date!!

I can bet you that you not telling her and telling her would both end up with that sentence 'she left shortly after.' Like someone said above she just didn't know how to react to her jealousy, I'm sure she'll get back to you with a better reaction again. Congrats :)

Halifax never sent me flowers... 🙁

OMG, is that a threat, Plumsofwrath??

I am shocked your sister opened the card. She wouldn’t have been aware if she hadn’t have done that. I would just explain you didn’t want to make anyone feel bad. After all it’s now benefit to anyone else unless you plan to start paying there mortgage lol.

Ps we never got flowers when we paid ours off!