To be annoyed that no compassionate leave?

[crunchymint]

I am going to a funeral of a close friend and have to take annual leave.

It really isn't about thinking only family matters. The fact is that it's members of the family who have to make the arrangements for the funeral not friends. It's not about which loss is harder to deal with.

And, as PPs have said, how is an employer to know who is a close friend? There are people who would take the Mick. Immediate family is clear cut.

If you get x days of compassionate leave a year then you should be able to use it

I don't know of anywhere that has a set amount if compassionate leave a year.

This is EXACTLY the reason why companies are stupid not to give compassionate leave when requested. Compassionate leave will never hit your bottom line the way pissing off your employees and making them feel under-valued will.

Companies have policies around it for a reason.

Whether people want to admit it or not, people do take the piss.

making rules with people who take the mick in mind is a good way to win the odd battle and totally loose the war when it comes to the productivity of your enterprise.

I would suggest giving compassionate leave to anyone who says they needs it. If people are mick takers then fire them...most companies are fairly effective at weeding out people who take the piss.

I mean would anyone on this thread constantly bunk off given half a chance? I'm guessing not. So keep the overwhelming majority of your employees happy by giving them leave when they ask for it and ignoring/fire the tiny fraction that would only have found another way to piss take if you locked this particular door.

"I have booked annual leave off. And in future I will claim compassionate leave if relatives die, that I don't really need it for, and have a day off. I haven't in the past."

You're entitled to. Compassionate leave is for when a close immediate relative dies. Either to attend the funeral, or if you're closer to the deceased to give you time to sort things out. When my mother died I had two weeks compassionate leave, which covered spending a couple days with her as she died, organising funeral, emptying her home and dealing with her landlord and holding the funeral. I was back at work two days after the funeral.

Are you saying you'd take the day off not go to the funeral and just have a nice day to relax OP?

It makes complete sense to only include family because it is an objective test of closeness that you don't have for a friend.

It's only objective in the narrow sense of blood-relatedness (or social ties for e.g. adoptive relatives). I can think of many friends' funerals I'd want to go to because I'm much closer to them, in a meaningful sense, than I am to my mother.

I don't even think it's intended to be anything to do with a test of closeness. It's pure and simple to make the policy for compassionate leave it equitable and manageable.

There has to be a line albeit a wavy one at times for employers. You could have the conversation with your manager that this person was effectively your family in the real sense of the word? We should take a moment though to be grateful that many employers at least allow us the time off. There are many that don’t have any compassion.

You are wrong. Often friends DO have to make arrangements for funerals.

lemonshark Yes. If my brother dies after my parents have died, I will take the day off as compassionate leave and instead have a nice day at home. No intention of going to his funeral, unless it is to support my parents.

I guess the wider issue is that I work for a shit employer who in spite of what they say, constantly demonstrate that they don't give a toss about their employees.

I have booked annual leave off. And in future I will claim compassionate leave if relatives die, that I don't really need it for, and have a day off. I haven't in the past.

Real mature. I hope other people won't need to pick up the slack when you take these spiteful days off.

When my brother died age 14 my dad was given 5 days compassionate leave. He had to take unpaid leave or a days holiday for the funeral and subsequent trial. He worked in a foundry and it was quite possibly dangerous for him to be there. He had worked there over 15yrs and it certainly changed his opinion of his employer. My mum on the other hand worked for a well known supermarket and was told to take as much time as she needed off.

Sorry for your loss OP

streyy Yes if employers treat you like shit, it has an impact.

I like the bit on our policy that says after 2days you may get some discretionary time off if it is a spouse so that you can arrange alternative childcare!Ah,the caring compassionate NHS.

"If people are mick takers then fire them" if only it was that easy. . Especially in the public sector! Its easy to hire people, but difficult to get rid of them!

I had to take annual leave for my uncle's funeral, I work in the public sector. Yet when I worked in the private sector I got 5 days compassionate leave when my grandmother died x

Wow that's shit Onlyoldontheoutside. Our trust gives up to five days, which seems woeful, given that i got two weeks working in a bank! Can't recall if that was paid or not though. But it's very dependent on management, I know mine would take all of your clinical work off your plate immediately so that you could focus on the shock and whatnot for as long as you needed, several weeks at least, until they'd have to gently ask if you can go get a sick note or something. They certainly wouldn't be like 'right you've had your five days, back to a full clinic caseload!' no fucking way.

Although weirdly I was basically fine for the first six months. Wish I could have had leave at the 6-7 month mark when shit starts to really sink in!

Dh couldn't even get leave for my dB. HE got teeny bit for df.

You are coming across as churlish, and really immature.

I am sorry you work for employers that you don't think appreciate you, but the policy is completely normal and reasonable. You can move to another employer and it will almost certainly be the same.
What happens in my Team is there is some discretion used because a) we work for a really good manager, b) all the rest of the team are happy to cover if someone else needs it, as 'what goes round, comes round', c) no-one in our (relatively small) Team would take the mick, and {crucially} d) in our role we need to get the job done over time, it doesn't need to have a person standing in a particular place at a particular time, like some jobs do (for example a surgeon or A&E consultant can't just be covered by phoning a temp agency, but someone whose job involves writing up a report or answering e-mails can often make up the time at home in the evening or at the weekend - which we do).
All these things come into play.

Yes if employers treat you like shit, it has an impact.

The employer is hardly treating you like shit if they allow you to take annual leave to go to a friend’s funeral!

Read my comments, they treat all employees like shit. I am not talking about this policy

Surely it is usual to take either annual leave or unpaid leave in this situation?

Compassionate leave is for immediate family only (at my company 'immediate family' is children, partner, siblings, and parents. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins are not considered 'immediate family').

The exception to this appears to be work colleagues. If the funeral is local, then we're typically allowed to take a couple of hours off to go to the funeral (subject to line manager approval).

streyy Yes if employers treat you like shit, it has an impact.

There will be no impact on the employer. Your grand plan is to take compassionate leave when they offer it to you. Exactly what they would expect you to do. They don't know you don't actually need it, so you're not achieving anything. From their perspective they gave you a day off and you took it. They'll think they're good employers.

The only people it would actually potentially impact is your colleagues if they have to cover you or anything.

I can understand your upset, but I can also understand the company policy.

I'd feel the same in your situation. I have my daughter, DH and the inlaws. A fairly strained relationship with my dad but that is all the family I have.
If my actual relatives, mum,siblings,step dad, gran,aunts, uncle's etc were to pass there's no way I would go to their funeral, and I would like to hope that my friends who have been there like a family member should, would be treated as if they were family in their death. I would expect that compassion to be forthcoming, but then there would be cheeky fuckers trying to get compassionate leave for the bloke who once had a pint with their friendship groups funeral....the cheeky fuckers would be out in full force with that one if the rules were changed.

Sorry for your loss. X