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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why this song is still ok to play on the radio

463 replies

CoedynSbageti · 14/01/2018 12:57

Jealous Guy

Written and performed by a man who admitted he was violent towards women.

Just that really.

OP posts:
HeyhoIndigo · 14/01/2018 15:04

Baby it's cold outside - coercion and use of alcohol to this purpose. I listened to it properly at Christmas and while you think it's a nice Christmas song it's quite creepy. Told my DD (16) who said it's " rapey " and didn't I know that already ? I must pay attention, didn't know about a lot of these on this thread.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:05

I much prefer Cyndi Laupers' version. What? Where she asks if it is alright if she wakes him up to make love to him ?

It's the same song.. why is it different if a woman sings it?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:06

Baby it's cold outside There's a whole thread on that one Smile

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 14/01/2018 15:07

I think men are excused for their behaviour far too often

Yes, this.

I'm still mulling it over. It's a tricky one.

While I'm thinking about my feelings on it and seeing what other posters say, it will be interesting to see how many women make the list.

Notevilstepmother · 14/01/2018 15:12

From an interview in 1980

“Getting Better.'"

LENNON: "It is a diary form of writing. All that 'I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved' was me. I used to be cruel to my woman, and physically... any woman. I was a hitter. I couldn't express myself and I hit. I fought men and I hit women. That is why I am always on about peace, you see. It is the most violent people who go for love and peace. Everything's the opposite. But I sincerely believe in love and peace. I am a violent man who has learned not to be violent and regrets his violence. I will have to be a lot older before I can face in public how I treated women as a youngster."

Tara336 · 14/01/2018 15:12

Not music but a film... I was accused of being racist at Christmas for watching Gone with the wind 🙄

Notevilstepmother · 14/01/2018 15:14

PLAYBOY: "Yoko, how did you feel about John's becoming a househusband?"

ONO: "When John and I would go out, people would come up and say, 'John, what are you doing?' but they never asked about me, because, as a woman, I wasn't supposed to be doing anything."

LENNON: "When I was cleaning the cat shit and feeding Sean, she was sitting in rooms full of smoke with men in three-piece suits that they couldn't button."

ONO: "I handled the business: old business... Apple, Maclen," (the Beatles' record company and publishing company, respectively) "and new investments."

LENNON: "We had to face the business. It was either another case of asking some daddy to come solve our business or having one of us do it. Those lawyers were getting a quarter of a million dollars a year to sit around a table and eat salmon at the Plaza. Most of them didn't seem interested in solving the problems. Every lawyer had a lawyer. Each Beatle had four or five people working. So we felt we had to look after that side of the business and get rid of it and deal with it before we could start dealing with our own life. And the only one of us who has the talent or the ability to deal with it on that level is Yoko."

PLAYBOY: "Did you have experience handling business matters of that proportion?"

ONO: "I learned. The law is not a mystery to me anymore. Politicians are not a mystery to me. I'm not scared of all that establishment anymore. At first, my own accountant and my own lawyer could not deal with the fact that I was telling them what to do."

LENNON: "There was a bit of an attitude that this is John's wife, but surely she can't really be representing him."

ONO: "A lawyer would send a letter to the directors, but instead of sending it to me, he would send it to John or send it to my lawyer. You'd be surprised how much insult I took from them initially. There was all this 'But you don't know anything about law; I can't talk to you.' I said, 'All right, talk to me in the way I can understand it. I am a director, too.'"

LENNON: "They can't stand it. But they have to stand it, because she is who represents us." (chuckles) "They're all male, you know, just big and fat, vodka lunch, shouting males, like trained dogs, trained to attack all the time. Recently, she made it possible for us to earn a large sum of money that benefited all of them and they fought and fought not to let her do it, because it was her idea and she was a woman and she was not a professional. But she did it, and then one of the guys said to her, 'Well, Lennon does it again.' But Lennon didn't have anything to do with it."

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 14/01/2018 15:15

WHat about Young girl by Gary Puckett? Hmm

GabsAlot · 14/01/2018 15:25

just going to post that drink

my love for u is way out of line your much too young girl

Hygge · 14/01/2018 15:27

I think I posted before about a song that gives me the creeps now, Get You Back or Getcha Back by the Beach Boys.

Never thought of it before, and I know I must have heard it a lot, but it wasn't until DS watched Herbie Fully Loaded and it was on there and he asked what they meant.

The lyrics are a man singing about how he heard a song that he used to listen to with his girlfriend:

The other night they were playing our song, hadn't heard it for oh so long, took me back darlin' to that time in my car, when you cried all night cause we'd gone too far.

DS brought my attention to it by asking "where did they go?" and I said "When?" and he said "When they went too far, where did they go? And why did he leave her there if he wants her to come back now?"

Obviously that's not at all what they mean in the song, and it bothers me now I've heard it and really thought about the lyrics. Wrong song for a kids film.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:27

Ah! A challenge...

I would have said Marianne Faithful, but the songs I am thinking of were written by men.

Heart - All I wanna do - is sleep with you and get pregnant. Run away and not tell you, cos my husband is infertile!

Salt n Pepa - Push It! Though Shoop! Is more objectifying of the B Boy they lust over.

J-Lo has been a tad nasty about her 'papi' too!

Bessie Smith - just to show women have always objectified men - I am wild About that thing, I love your ting a ling, more sugar in that one too!

Almost anything by Liz Phair - "I want to fuck you like a dog, take you home make you like it!" Not sure that'd get air play Smile

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:28

Sorry, that too was a reply to BetteDavisEyes

noeffingidea · 14/01/2018 15:29

I don't 'I drove all night about' about being about rape at all, man or woman. It's about sexual passion.
Though that in itself seems to be undesirable for some mumsnetters.

goose1964 · 14/01/2018 15:32

What about Daft Punk and lucky?

exWifebeginsat40 · 14/01/2018 15:32

'just the way you are' is just a list of criticisms dressed as compliments. you're thick, badly dressed and your hair looks like shit but don't worry - i'll graciously throw you a pity fuck. baby.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:33

For those vilifying Gary Pucket, the lyrics actually say much the same as you do

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You're much too young girl

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you're old enough
To give me love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You're much too young girl

Beneath your perfume and your make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know that it's wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes

Young girl, get out my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl...

A man who knows he has done something wrong.. not quite the same as Bill Wyman in real life!

goose1964 · 14/01/2018 15:34

Or Meatloaf and paradise by the dashboard light. If you cannot work out what that means without knowing the song you're even more naïve than I a

derxa · 14/01/2018 15:36

Let's ban everything! McCarthyism rules!

poetryinmotion13 · 14/01/2018 15:38

derxa Sometimes I think we are getting close to a McCarthyist situation. So much political correctness, identity politics nonsense. Makes me Sad

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:40

Paradise is very much a 2 person argument...

She sings: ^Ain't no doubt about it we were doubly blessed, 'Cause we were barely seventeen and we were barely dressed* the first time

She calls a stop to sex. Demands he declares his undying love.

He says he needs to sleep on it.

She doesn't let him sleep, she insists...

They do NOT have sex until she extracts a promise, he promises, they have sex, he keeps his promise... he does the right thing... they both regret it!

It is mutual combat! They use each other!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:42

derxa, poetry it's even more depressing when the songs do NOT actually say what they are imputed to say!

If anyone had said "What about Joan Jett?" I'd have been in 100% agreement - not the songs, her early year experiences! The reality is far, far worse than any rumination in lyrics!

Tinycitrus · 14/01/2018 15:42

I think we definitely need to a committee to tell us what’s ok and not ok to listen to. Then we’ll know we are good people.

poetryinmotion13 · 14/01/2018 15:42

xmaspuddingdisasater Didn't one of Michael Jackson's accusers retract his allegations though?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/01/2018 15:44

A committee... Oooh! Musical McCarthyism Grin

poetryinmotion13 · 14/01/2018 15:44

Curious I know. It is madness, really. Baby It's Cold outside has never been about rape- It is about a woman worried about her reputation and not staying out late and worrying her mother. That song was written in times where those things mattered.

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