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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with DH for letting us sleep?

228 replies

IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 12:19

We got back from holidays on Monday. We were in a different time zone (6 hr behind) and it is proving difficult to get back to normal. DS(5) has really struggled to get up to go to school, and I have been very tired. It did not affect DH so much, as his sleep patterns are always all over the place.

I am not sure what time he woke up today, but he came to us (DS was sleeping in our bed) at some point and said: it's already 10am maybe you should get up otherwise jetlag will get worse.

I finally woke up at 11:45am Shock

I just do not understand why he didn't try to wake us up?! He says he did and that I am ungrateful, and that it is not his responsibility!
I do not care about me, but if he knew it would mess up with DS sleep why didn't he do a bit more?!

OP posts:
ladystarkers · 13/01/2018 17:07

Your Dh is a ledgend. Well done that man.

Topseyt · 13/01/2018 17:07

Your username is very apt. You can clearly be very prickly. Perhaps that is why your DH left you alone when his initial attempt to wake you was unsuccessful.

Your DS was in the bed with you? Also asleep? In that case I too would have left both of you.

Grow up.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 13/01/2018 17:33

Who sets an alarm for the weekend when they don't have to????

Weekends (in my view) are for recharging the batteries. If you're tired through jetlag or any other reason and you don't have to be anywhere, then FGS, sleep if you can.

I wish I could (curse DD's clubs and sports fixtures)

DivisionBelle · 13/01/2018 18:06

Not only unreasonable, but petulant, spoilt and pathetic.

Based on the OP and subsequent replies to posters.

Ali2666 · 13/01/2018 18:21

You have a husband and child, you really need to grow out of the teenage strops, OP

Mimsy123 · 13/01/2018 18:39

OP, I think you’d like The Boxer, by Simon and Garfunkel. It can be your theme tune...

Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

anothersuitcase · 13/01/2018 18:57

Op can it be his responsibility to get ds up and out to school Monday? Then he might have more of an interest in getting him over the jet lag rather than saying it's "not his responsibility" Hmm

Genever · 13/01/2018 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/01/2018 21:11

Next instalment: 'I started a diet at the beginning of Jan but today I had a biscuit, I can't believe my DH didn't remind me about my diet! FFS!'

norfolkenclue · 13/01/2018 21:25

I'm not sure why it's so ok for YOU to have the extra sleep that you clearly so desperately need after your holiday, but not your child?? He also CLEARLY needs to catch up on the sleep he has missed, with being so jet-lagged (same as you!!!) and today, being the weekend, was the perfect day to do so! You sound utterly selfish! 'I need my deep sleep, but sod my child!' 🙄😳

QuackPorridgeBacon · 13/01/2018 22:58

I didn’t realise jet lag lasted so long... I’m a deep sleeper. So deep that I actually don’t wake to the younger child in the night because my partner is quick to react and deals with it. I think you are being unreasonable and need to grow up a bit. Take some damn responsibility woman. He woke you, enoughthat you heard him say the time. Your child was asleep next to you. You chose to go back to sleep. I’ve done the same as you and heard my partner talking and I’ve dropped my head and fell back to sleep instantly, he lets me sleep on. I do not come down the stairs having a go at him. I thank him for giving me an unexpected lie on. Stop being so uptight and give the man, and your child, a break.

DorisDangleberry · 13/01/2018 23:09

I once overslept because I went out late the previous evening. I totally blame by STBXDH and this is the key argument in the forthcoming custody abttle

BastardGoDarkly · 13/01/2018 23:10

Well, this is going well op Grin

I hope you've chilled out now, and aren't still in a strop, his heart was in the right place I'm sure.

Original poster
IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 23:38

Genever

Is there any need for that?
I haven't been rude to anyone, just tried to explain my point of view, but you feel it is ok to call me a lazy fucker?

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 23:48

Norfolkenclue
I'm not sure why it's so ok for YOU to have the extra sleep that you clearly so desperately need after your holiday, but not your child?? He also CLEARLY needs to catch up on the sleep he has missed, with being so jet-lagged (same as you!!!) and today, being the weekend, was the perfect day to do so! You sound utterly selfish! 'I need my deep sleep, but sod my child!'

Where the fuck did I say that?!

He was obviously very tired, but I doubt sleeping until midday was the right thing for him (or me), as he only just now (11.15pm) managed to go to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 23:59

Well, now I know what it feels to be the OP in one of these threads - awful!

Thank you to the (very) few posters who understood where I was coming from.

The majority thinks I was being unreasonable, so I must have been! I still think he could have done more if he thought that sleeping so much was not going to be good for DS, but I obviously did overreact.

OP posts:
DorisDangleberry · 14/01/2018 01:24

OP, shouldn't you be in bed now? The blue light form screens has been shown to keep people up. Night night

AnnieAnoniMouse · 14/01/2018 02:05

I think he could have tried harder.

One of my exes slept like the dead and if I knew he needed to be up or knew he’d think he’d benefit from being up I’d take him coffee, wake him up and make sure he was properly awake. If he still went back to sleep I’d wake him again. It was as annoying as fuck, but it’s what you do for someone you love.

Him not getting DS up was selfish & lazy. I’d make sure he’s equally responsible for putting DS to bed & getting him up this week.

Greensleeves · 14/01/2018 02:13

Sorry you've had a kicking. I don't think you deserved that really.

I agree with ohfourfoxache though - annoying, yes, but I would give my head a wobble and go and give him a cuddle and enjoy the rest of the day.

MyKingdomForBrie · 14/01/2018 03:37

I agree with you OP - if he had said it was bad for DS jetlag then he should have got him up, simple.

Since when was it ok to not do the right thing for your kids when it’s very easy and simple to do. Just pick the boy up and take him downstairs to watch cartoons or whatever.

Also why not be nice to your own wife?? I would have taken my DH a cup of tea and shaken him awake. Because I love him.

LolitaLempicka · 14/01/2018 04:28

I get you OP, I think it is fine to leave you because adults can cope with weird sleep. But I think if he was awake he could have woken your ds to try and get him back into ‘term time routines’. I think if you had worded your OP differently you would have got different responses. People are just being belligerent, I am sure they could have worked out what you were really pissed off about if they actually thought about it.

catwoozle · 14/01/2018 04:39

If the OP is hard work as this all the time, I bet DH was relishing the two hours of peace and quiet.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 14/01/2018 05:01

As a fellow deep sleeper, I have NO sympathy. I know what I'm like. So if I want to wake up then I set multiple alarms. One at 7 for example which I usually bang off...then another for 7.15...then another for 7.30 by which time I've been dragged from sleep enough to wakeup.

Look out for yourself.

Jigglytuff · 14/01/2018 05:31

I think you’re clearly unsuited to go on holiday to different time zones

Fionne · 14/01/2018 05:54

Allow one night of disturbed sleep for every hour of time difference. You’ll be back to normal soon.