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AIBU?

to be annoyed with DH for letting us sleep?

228 replies

IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 12:19

We got back from holidays on Monday. We were in a different time zone (6 hr behind) and it is proving difficult to get back to normal. DS(5) has really struggled to get up to go to school, and I have been very tired. It did not affect DH so much, as his sleep patterns are always all over the place.

I am not sure what time he woke up today, but he came to us (DS was sleeping in our bed) at some point and said: it's already 10am maybe you should get up otherwise jetlag will get worse.

I finally woke up at 11:45am

I just do not understand why he didn't try to wake us up?! He says he did and that I am ungrateful, and that it is not his responsibility!
I do not care about me, but if he knew it would mess up with DS sleep why didn't he do a bit more?!

OP posts:

Report

IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 14:49

So on Wednesday morning we both set up our alarms as usual but slept straight through them. I finally woke up at 10am and woke everyone else as fast as I could - I was late for work and DS was obvs late for school. DH was doing the school run.
I went into the shower and when I came back they were both still in bed.
Should I have just let them sleep because I had already woken them up once?

disclaimer: I know this is not exactly the same, because today was Saturday and no school/work so getting up was not as important....

OP posts:

RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 13/01/2018 14:50

Should I have just let them sleep because I had already woken them up once?

No because as you state that’s not the same.

MadMags · 13/01/2018 14:50

I know this is not exactly the same, because today was Saturday and no school/work so getting up was not as important....

Well, quite.

Believeitornot · 13/01/2018 14:52

I can see your dh’s Logic. You were asleep and he tried to wake you. But it is the weekend so less of an issue.

You weren’t late for anything.

user1471596238 · 13/01/2018 14:57

OP, is your disclaimer not the point? He probably would have persisted in waking you if it had been urgent but ultimately we all have to be responsible for what we do.

pictish · 13/01/2018 14:58

Op stop it. This was not your dh's fault. If you were so anxious about your child's sleep five days after returning from holiday you should have got up when he woke you up and seen to it. Personally I'd not have been so fussed assuming that it will all back into place naturally by itself.
As it is, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Your angst over nothing your problem.

burdog · 13/01/2018 15:02

Come on OP, take some responsibility for yourself.

IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 15:04

I would be really annoyed too. One of our kids is horrendous when she gets off schedule and if she was allowed to sleep in until almost noon it would throw most of the next week off. DH knows this and if he let her do sleep in when he was in a position to wake her it would be because he wasn’t taking responsibility for her. Assuming everything about the kids was up to me. It’s totally ducking out of the hard and mundane bits of parents

This is exactly it. Thanks.

OP posts:

Barbie222 · 13/01/2018 15:06

MadMags · 13/01/2018 15:09

It was up to both of you.

He got distracted and you chose to go back to sleep.

And being a drama queen about how you sleep soooooooo deeply doesn't negate you from having responsibilities.

Loonoonow · 13/01/2018 15:11

Making a fuss about the inconvenience of jet lag for a five year old is possibly the most overprivileged thing I've seen on MN. Holiday in a mobile home in Skegness and you won't have that problem.

Bluntness100 · 13/01/2018 15:13

What a mad thread,

Op,,,am I'm unreasonable
MN ..yes totally
Op, no I'm not.
ONe person,,no you're not
Op. Knew it!, thank you!,

Honestly. Why ask. You've decided that your husband has done wrong and you just want validating. Doesn't matter if a hundred people say you're unreasonable, as long as one doesn't say it you're good.

Honestly. The mind boggles.

Believeitornot · 13/01/2018 15:17

Assuming everything about the kids was up to me

Er wasn’t ds sleeping next to you

It would be different if DS was in his own room and you asleep in yours.

IamAporcupine · 13/01/2018 15:18

Making a fuss about the inconvenience of jet lag for a five year old is possibly the most overprivileged thing I've seen on MN. Holiday in a mobile home in Skegness and you won't have that problem.

OP posts:

gillybeanz · 13/01/2018 15:21

Your poor dh, YABU and he is right, ungrateful.

roundaboutthetown · 13/01/2018 15:22

You did not set an alarm for this morning and you knew your dh hadn't either, therefore you were not that bothered about anyone's sleep patterns. This is a case of jet lagged bad temper, not an unreasonable dh.

derangedmermaid · 13/01/2018 15:24

Making a fuss about the inconvenience of jet lag for a five year old is possibly the most overprivileged thing I've seen on MN. Holiday in a mobile home in Skegness and you won't have that problem.

That paired with having a partner who is thoughtful enough to let you sleep.

Anyone else feel they should swap lives with OP to give her one hell of a reality check?

RaptorsCantPlayPoker · 13/01/2018 15:26

Porcupine YABU but maybe just enjoy your holiday photos, go to a play centre (DS can tire himself out for sleep tonight and you and DH can guzzle coffee) then just chill.

I think you may owe your DH an apology if you’ve been grumpy with him.

You’ll feel human again soon and probably laugh at your post.

roundaboutthetown · 13/01/2018 15:27

If your dh had forced you and your ds to get up a 10am and you had all spent the day being knackered and bad tempered, would you nevertheless have thanked him for it?

roundaboutthetown · 13/01/2018 15:30

Ps if you have been back for several days and are still so jet lagged, despite having been getting up early for school, etc, and thus being back in your normal routine, has it not crossed your mind that, actually, you may have needed the lie in this morning?

Aria2015 · 13/01/2018 15:34

Set an alarm. I like to keep to a routine too but I also like my sleep so I set alarms so this doesn't happen. Really don't think it's your dh's fault. Sorry.

RedDogsBeg · 13/01/2018 15:50

Honestly, still suffering from jet lag five days after returning home? Did you waste five days at the other end sorting out your sleep patterns?

YABU.

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SilverySurfer · 13/01/2018 16:27

This must be a joke. Of course YABVU unless you're 6 years old or something. And stop with the drip, drip, drip, it adds nothing to make anyone change their minds.

LadyBunnysWig · 13/01/2018 16:54

But, okay hear me out, your DS was asleep in your bed with you. When your DH came in to wake you up but you went back to sleep, perhaps he saw that as you not being bothered about DSs sleep pattern or basically saying it was fine for you all to continue sleeping.... as this is literally what you were doing. So if he had of continued to try and wake you both up, he may have faced the wrath of an angry wife who saw this as him thinking he knew best.

Genever · 13/01/2018 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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