To think having sex as a female is dangerous

[Bumsnetnetbums]

Genuine post.
Over the last few years I have known women whom have contracted chlamydia as teens and who are infertile due to pelvic inflammatory disease. I have friends with warts. BV. Trich.
And on another thread, those with abnormal cells, and cervical cancer.
All these conditions are given to women by men. (Yes women transmit also but for men there are very few long term effects other than passing on to other women).
Pregnancy is the one bonus if ttc. But even then women have unwanted pregnancy and abortions to deal with. Neither of these are anywhere near as traumatic for men.
I have come to an age where the above are so risky and widespread that i dont think i will ever have sex again. It is hard to be in the mood when a penis can literally be like gun which shoots you and takes your health, just in a slower and more humiliating way.
I fear for my daughters. I will obviously allow the hpv vaccine. But sex is not what we thought it was as teens. It is dangerous for women.
I have said on a couple of threads about infidelity that by taking back unfaithful partners is health risking.
Women who have been cheating on are hurt from the intimacy where the partner has turned to another woman outside the marriage. They focus on whats best for the kids.
AIBU to say that the first thing women should be focussing on is their sexual health. It isnt the closeness with another woman which is worst. It is that he has totally disregarded your health to have sex with another woman not knowing what he could be bringing home.
What is right for the kids is a healthy mum. They might be upset by daddy leaving. But they will be heartbroken at mummy dying from hiv/hepatitis/cervical cancer.

Bumsnet

Unless you would count DH snuggling / groping (well, whatever, he’s basically an octopus) me in his sleep? Which I wouldn’t count because whilst I did not give consent whilst I was sleeping he knows that I generally enjoy having a personal heating blanket.

I haven’t had a single non-consensual one with him. And I’m not saying that in a gloats way, btw.

Also, gosh. This thread is currently one of the only things I can slightly concentrate on and I’m going out of my mind, so thanks, bums.

Sex is over rated. Disgusting act. People turn animalistic. Only good for making babies.

Sex is over rated. Disgusting act. People turn animalistic. Only good for making babies

Please tell me that post is tongue in cheek

Jacques

I think it’s a valid opinion, tbh. (Although definitely not a fact.) Just as valid as someome absolutely loving sex.

We have a culture where we don’t talk enough about real sex- the good and bad.

Fix this and sex would be safer.

I think it’s a valid opinion, tbh. (Although definitely not a fact.) Just as valid as someome absolutely loving sex

Absolutely. Imagine a MN where people clearly expressed their opinion as just that rather than conferring a factual element

Ffs not in the same way. For instance stds cannot make a man infertile nor can they cause cell changes and cancer. So can be, but much less so. Also given that the man deposits the source of infection in the woman then that also increases risk

Jaques its exactly how I feel
I hate the thought of sex just as i would if someone were to wee or poo on or in me. Its essentially the same the only thing making it different is arousal which i dont (perhaps let myself) have.

OP, pp have pointed out that they can cause some forms of cancer in men. Not sure about infertility- have you looked this one up? And unless I am very much mistaken HIV can be transmitted from women to men, and HIV is still dangerous.

Fair enough ffs.

What you seem to be saying here is "I feel revolted at the thought of sex with a man and therefore other people should modify their sexual behaviour". But your feelings, though perfectly valid as part of your sexual make-up aren't going to make any difference to how other people feel. I can't imagine feeling aroused by the thought of sex with another woman. I still think women who do should feel free to get on with it and women who don't want sex at all should feel free to get on without it. My feelings simply aren't relevant to anybody except myself and any sexual partners I may have (1 husband, for the record: has never pressured me in any way).

Its essentially the same the only thing making it different is arousal which i dont (perhaps let myself) have

Semen isn't a waste product though, the above notwithstanding.

You seem to recognise you have issues surrounding sex from past experience which is totally valid for you.

However posters saying "sex is disgusting" presented as fact doesn't really help the valuable nature of the discussion

The HPV vaccine has not been in use for long enough to prove it works and, even if it does, it only protects against a handful of the many strains of cervical cancer.

At the same time it has many horrible side effects including death. Risk-wise it is the worst vaccine you can have and I would recommend doing very thorough research before advocating my child having it. This is a good place to start with regards to learning more about its safety: sanevax.org/

Sex is over rated. Disgusting act. People turn animalistic. Only good for making babies

Speak for yourself! a good session lowers blood pressure and gives you oodles of bonding hormone which is essential to feel happy in a relationship. It burns off calories and is good for general well being.

I’d be sad without it.

Not at all. Not bothered about who has sex and when. Tead my op. I was pointing out the fact that on mn there are many cheating mens partners posting for advice yet sexual health is the last thing to be cared for. Women doing the pick me dance irrelevant of where else he dipped it.
There are threads where women have cell changes from hpv. And worse.
But we still just giggle at the thought of 'nookie' or 'making love' (not everyone does I know). The truth is that sex can be and is dangerous especially with a cheating partner. Yes it may seem ott. But it is true.
I dont care if you all have sex 100 times a day with whom. Really i dont.

^^Response to cory

It's not that, OP. It's that you portray cheating as something men do, and transmitting sexual diseases as something men do, and coping with the consequences as something women have to do.

Women cheat too, in heterosexual sex half the "infection transmitters" are women, and men are also at serious risk from unprotected sex.

But for many people, perhaps most, sex is such an enjoyable part of life that they find it hard to imagine doing without it.

So by all means talk about protection (if you think MN is not clued-up on these issues). Talk about empowering young people to stand up against pressure to have sex when they don't want to (and yes, that equally goes for young men!). Talk about all those things. But using melodramatic language isn't going to make anybody more willing to listen.

Imagine a MN where people clearly expressed their opinion as just that rather than conferring a factual element grin

Oh, absolutely. But that would probably decrease the outrage and sometimes also hilarity (sheer awesomeness of mumsnet) rather drastically.

Gamer
Its fluidy and leaves the sheets a mess. Thats enough reason to reject it

Its fluidy and leaves the sheets a mess

Not the way we do it!

When I was younger, I had some shitty sex, some I would now considered not consented ones too. I hated and loved some of them. But now if i am not satisfied I will say so. No need for bad sex. If I am not happy about something I will say so too. I think I have become generally like that with everything.

Sex is over rated. Disgusting act. People turn animalistic. Only good for making babies. It depends doesn't it. Some people lose sight when trying for a baby to the point sex become a chore.
I guess the urge can be categorised as animalistic. It's the actions that follow which can truly show how we as animals really are. It's not different to what some other animals do. We just make it sound more sophisticatedly using the word such as sensual, love making and all the other vomity words to make it sound like more than what it is. Sex/coitus.

Its fluidy and leaves the sheets a mess invest in big cosy towels. saves you from all the mess.

I agree with a lot of the points the OP raises (maybe not quite getting the gun analogy ) and it is something that has always bothered me (sexual health). I only dropped condoms with my DH after we had been together a while and he's the only person have dropped them with.
If people want to go out and have one night stands then fair enough but I don't know why you'd do it without protection.
And the the person who said ;

No modern mum is going to advise their daughters to be chaste and try and sleep with as few people as possible.

Well clearly I'm not modern then but I will be teaching my girls about self respect and loving relationships which I hope boils down to "as few people as possible" I'm not blinkered I know they'll make some mistakes but I am certainly not going to encourage them to drop their knickers easily.

Oh for god’s sake OP get a grip. Believe it or not many women like sex!!! Everyone is responsible for their own sexual health and it’s vital girls AND boys are taught this. Condoms are also pretty helpful !!!!!! Don’t give your kids a stigma about sex