To think it's not that hard?

[HashBrowns]

There's a girl on my Facebook who's been moaning that she hasn't got time to brush her teeth all day or wash her hair until her DP comes home from work in the evenings because she doesn't have a minute to herself with her baby. Her baby is 5 weeks old, I have 4 dc's and still manage to find time to brush my teeth and have a bath every day. Even if her baby doesn't nap in the day for her (which I doubt when he's 5 weeks, that's pretty much all they do) surely she can stick him in his bouncer fur 10 mins even if it's outside the bathroom door so she can still see him whilst having a wash etc...aibu?

My last two kids were both born by emcs.

NewYearSameOldMe

You’ve completely missed my point.
What could I have done? My parents were dead. My siblings much younger and in full time jobs.
My inmaws 10000 miles away.
My husband at the time work obsessed and utterly unwilling to take more than the first week off.

I would have got through it.
Sometimes when you know that you genuinely don’t have any safety net at all, you do just get through it.

And for what it’s worth I list 2 lyre kfbblood during the birth; I had relentless mastitis for first three months; and was admitted to hospital overnight because I was suffering from tachycardia on day 8.

If your not friends & don’t want to offer any helpful or comforting advice why the fuck are you posting a massive rant about the woman? It baffles me why you cannot comprehend that EVERYONE copes differently.

I think your a massive twat to be honest and don’t see why your clearly enjoying tearing other woman down 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well I'll give the OP credit for at least having the decency to only refer to her as a girl on her Facebook rather than a friend. Hope said girl doesn't view you as the friend you're clearly not which makes me wonder why you're even FB "friends"in the first place.

I can see how inconvenient her first 5 weeks of motherhood have been on you Hashy, perhaps removing yourself as her pseudo FB friend will relieve you of the stress of having to watch her not have her shit together already.

I think everyone's coping ability and struggles with motherhood are as varied as babies temperaments can be, but I guess it's easy for someone that it's been a breeze for to look down their nose at others.

Every baby is different. Her experiences may not have been the same as yours. My teeth were horribly neglected for the first few months of my son's life and I smelt very unsavoury most of the time. I regret nothing. That time was spent with my gorgeous little baby boy in my arms.

Was the point of your post to get others to help you understand? Or was it to slate other mothers that you deem lazy?
Either way I'd say you've got too much time on your hands.

It's more your 'just get on with it attitude'

If you're passing out from an infection, you cAnt do that! It sounded a bit sanctimonious...

“I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t have the “luxury” of pnd”

Fuck me, that’s one of the worst things I’ve seen on here. Oh how unlucky for you that you couldn’t choose a serious mental illness. Wow.

I'm with you on this! Also have 4 and manage to keep myself clean

It's really not about 'keeping yourself clean'... ffs. People?!

And the award for twattiest comment of the year goes to @Alittleconcerned1980 which is extra impressive considering it’s only January.

The luxury of PND?! How can anyone be that fucking ignorant?!

I’m sorry to go on about it but actually I’m really fucking angry that anyone could be so stupid. I’ve never had experience of PND myself, but I do have some common sense and compassion. Applying those is what’s not hard.

A few years ago, a mum with PND jumped off the Clifton suspension bridge with her baby in her arms. There’s a mother in the news at the moment whose mental health deteriorated to the point she killed herself and her two children. Which luxury is it you think they were indulging in @Alittleconcerned1980 ?!

It’s the fact it’s the first baby.

With baby number 1, I wasn’t capable of cleaning my teeth either. I was like a rabbit caught in the headlights unable to do much at all for those first months.

By baby number 3, I was cooking dinner, supervising homework, doing housework, talking on the phone, and breastfeeding all at the same time. It was easy.

Show a bit of sympathy eh OP.

Forgot the You Are Being Dusgustingly Unreasonable bit.

A little concerned your post is one of the most despicable and heartless things I've ever read on here. I hope no new Mum reads that and feels even worse about themselves if they're really struggling.

There is absolutely no fucking "luxury" to PND. It is not a choice in any way. You can't just decide not to have it because your husband works long hours and you just have to 'get on'.

I don't think I've ever been so angry and upset reading a MN thread as I have this one. Some people cope amazingly as first time parents with a difficult baby, some struggle hugely even with a relatively easy baby. Unless you're offering to take round food and hold the baby while they eat or wash, keep your hurtful, nasty and dangerous judgements to yourselves.

Aren't you charming OP

NewYear that seemed to be what the op was about...apologies if I've misunderstood.

This thread has just gone from bad to worse.

I cannot get over the "luxury of pnd" comment. How can some people still be so ignorant to mental illness in 2018!

It's so saddening that there are so many women ready to rip into someone who is clearly struggling.

This thread, and another recently regarding childcare not being"work" have got to be the worst in a long time.

Shouldn't we all be supporting each other?!

I haven't mentioned pnd once, my thread was because I was baffled why she couldn't brush her teeth... but my comments are dangerous and disgusting?

Op, sorry you've had your own share of difficulties but it's not top trumps.
I assume I brushed my teeth (just had one pulled so maybe I didn't). I had difficulties that meant difficulties I didn't manage some other basics that would appall many people.

My newborn never slept, he napped for a few mins and I was lucky he went down for more than 2 hours at night, I sympathise with this poor woman, you OP, sound like a perfect arse!

YABVU

I can’t believe the complete lack of compassion from you OP on a website I’ve recently joined as an overwhelmed new mum hoping to find some support. (Although I can see the vast majority agree with me so know I’ve still come to the right place!)

And AnachronisticCorpse to call a new mum a martyr is just really, really mean.

I’ve recently had my first baby who had colic and who I couldn’t put down for a minute without her screaming the house down for the first 3 months. There were days where I didn’t even get out of my pyjamas until my husband got home. It’s not being dramatic or a martyr. It’s struggling to cope. And what new mums need is understanding and support, not nasty, judgemental people like you making them feel even worse about themselves than they do already.

I don't think I'm a nasty person at all, I've been called a lot worse from the people on this thread than what I said about her, I don't think I said anything nasty about her actually, just didn't understand it, I don't think being genuinely baffled by something makes me nasty, judgemental, dangerous, a cunt, a cow, so on so on... I don't think not getting how she can't go brush her teeth for a few seconds means that I think she's a shit parent or anything of the sort, and I don't think it means that I think I'm "perfect and superior" either.
I haven't once said I've had it easy like you all keep assuming, I went from one kid to 4 in the space of a few months, I hardly knew my step daughters when they moved in full time and really struggled, my husband is useless and doesn't support me at all, I have to get on with everything myself for the kids, I practically bring them up by myself and it's hard, so no, I haven't "had it easy" it's a joke that most of you are saying i'm the judgemental one but you're all judging me based on one question? Saying "you've had it easy" lalala... umm no? I haven't. I had 2 emergency sections and when my first was born I could hardly even get up for the first 2 weeks and felt like the worst mother in the world because I couldn't run around doing all the things I wanted to for DS. None of you know my situation yet you're so quick to judge and call names and throw nasty comments at me, a bit hypocritical really.

She could always clean her teeth instead of spending time posting on fb. Priorities.

And as for the "people like you shouldn't have kids" comment.
Fuck you! You don't even know me, my kids are my world I live and breathe for them, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, so how dare you

YABVU having your first baby is massively over whelming. It's far easier when you have 2+ (to deal with having a baby.... older kids add their own dimension)