To think it's not that hard?

[HashBrowns]

There's a girl on my Facebook who's been moaning that she hasn't got time to brush her teeth all day or wash her hair until her DP comes home from work in the evenings because she doesn't have a minute to herself with her baby. Her baby is 5 weeks old, I have 4 dc's and still manage to find time to brush my teeth and have a bath every day. Even if her baby doesn't nap in the day for her (which I doubt when he's 5 weeks, that's pretty much all they do) surely she can stick him in his bouncer fur 10 mins even if it's outside the bathroom door so she can still see him whilst having a wash etc...aibu?

"It sounds like the poor woman is struggling to get used to things. Maybe a bit of support rather than judgement would be nice!"

I think this was the 2nd or 3rd post and says it all. Stop judging, start helping. Unless you're too busy polishing your "perfect mother" award

Being unable to brush your teeth is either an exaggeration (given the ability to use Facebook), , a joke, or a way of looking for sympathy. But, as others have said, it's really hard when you start out with your first baby and you have no idea what you're doing.

By the way OP, unless she's under 18 (and therefore she would be really struggling with the responsibility of parenthood), then she's a WOMAN not a GIRL.

I'm on baby number 2 - first had reflux and was the saddest baby screaming all day every day until I wanted to drive into a wall (DS2 felt misly after his jabs and cried that horrid cry for a whole afternoon yesterday and it bought it all flooding back) even though I have an easy baby (who only sleeps on me) I'm doing fuck all. If she wants to buy a sandwich/shower in peace then let her. It's such a short time and anything else doesn't matter. I'm now going to cuddle a baby and watch daytime tv until it's time for the school run. Judge away .

Not all babies are like yours were - stop being so bloody judgemental! My baby was fairly easy and I did manage to shower and brush my teeth every day. One of my NCT group had a baby who was an absolute terror. Rather than judge her, I took my newborn round to her house and juggled two while she had a bath. I felt overwhelmed by her baby after about 20 seconds and she was handling it 24/7.

I wasn't being horrible at all, I just genuinely don't understand how you can not have time to brush your teeth.
So I'm making out I'm super mum because I can find time to brush my teeth and have a wash? Really?
We're not really friends I just know her from years ago, so just popping around would be a bit awkward considering I haven't seen her for years, plus, I have enough to do with my own 4. I never said I didn't find parenthood hard or stressful and I never said I have it all covered, but I'm pretty sure you could find time to brush your teeth with even the hardest of babies. And I haven't been a parent for years and years, my boys are 2 and 3, and my step daughters (7 and 9) moved in with us full time almost 2 years ago, when ds2 was only 3 months old, so I went from having 1 baby to 4 kids within the space of a few months, it's really really hard and there's always things left to do, but I would certainly prioritise brushing my teeth to logging on to Facebook to complain that I haven't got time to brush my teeth...

In fact - how old is your youngest OP? You sound like one of those tiresome people who have forgotten what the newborn fog is like. A colleague of mine (who's youngest is now 29) judged me for letting my 2 year old walk round with a biscuit as her children NEVER walked around with food and always sat to eat EVERYTHING . She was a knob too.

She's a new Mum to a 5 week old baby. Give her a break.

Maybe you find parenting easy but not everyone does. All babies are different but even if they're not, everyone's experiences and ability to cope varies. It doesn't mean one person is better/stronger or anything else, just that they experience things differently to you.

I was completely floored after dd. I genuinely didn't know what had hit me.

Not only was it a shock going from no baby to a baby, she would scream constantly (colic - not an exaggeration) I was bf and exhausted, I had PND and couldn't put her down for a second, because if for some blissful reason she was quiet, that would set her off again. Bf was hard because she'd fuss so much I thought she would starve.

I honestly felt that I couldn't do anything. I was in tearful awe of the new mums who were brushing their hair, getting washed, not sucking at everything (that's how it feels, like your baby hates you for being so useless)

It got easier as she grew. And then I accidentally got pregnant with ds. I was horrified and had no idea how I was going to cope with two, one had nearly destroyed me.

Turns out that ds was a completely different kind of baby. He happily lay anywhere you put him, if he could see you he was fine. Occasionally he would whinge a little (not crying) while I finished up my shower but not that ear piercing scream of the colic baby. He slept for more than a half an hour at a time! He bf like a pro and it was so much easier.

Obviously he was my second so I sort of knew the drill, but it wasn't just that. It was like dd was 'hard survival mode' baby and ds was extreme easy mode.

You shouldn't judge anyone having different motherhood problems to you, or not seeming to do as well.

You have four so you're pretty experienced, and you have older kids to occupy the younger ones.

Five weeks is very new, she's finding her feet and still recovering from the birth possibly. Mentally and or physically.

Bit of empathy wouldn't kill you.

It seems that you still can't get your head round the idea that not everyone is the same as you OP.

We're not really friends

No shit

Not sure where this idea that I find parenthood really easy has come from, I never said I found it easy at all, in fact I find it exhausting and can't wait until bed time most days

Don't be a twat. I had such a difficult time with my DS that I couldn't even contemplate having another - six years down the line and the thought of it still scares me to death. In the early days I once went four days without a shower and was basically on the verge of a breakdown.

So maybe you had easy babies and help on hand. It doesn't take much imagination to think other people's situations might be different - seems to me you've just been extremely lucky.

But you have to put the baby down and stand in the bathroom (ie out of sight - instant panic!) to clean teeth. Meanwhile the baby is either screaming its head off because it's not sleeping on your chest or it's stopped screaming, which is worse because you're convinced it has had a fit and died. Conversely, you can Facebook with a single thumb whilst reclining on the sofa with the baby dozing on you or feeding or whatever. It's not the same thing at all.

Honestly, maybe she prioritised fb because she was feeling isolated and wanted to reach out and hoped she'd get some help?

Who cares? And don't backtrack, you WERE being nasty and hoped you could get people to pile on her and now you're trying to backtrack because you've had your arse handed to you.

You 'weren't being horrible'...come on, you were. You wanted us all to pile in and say how ridiculous she is. All of us discussing some poor woman we don't know. Horrible.

Well I'm entitled to my opinion. Honestly I do think it's ridiculous that she can't brush her teeth for a few seconds

Tbh I assumed she had written the status when her husband/partner was home.

Me and DH managed to work a system out between us but it certainly didn’t happen straight away.

I couldn't put DS down, literally. He wanted to be held constantly and hated the sling (sensory - he was diagnosed autistic at 5).

I got quite good at brushing my teeth whilst holding him, although he occasionally had minty fresh hair. Initially I took him in the shower with me (He also hated baths, so I could only top and tail him or shower with him), later he was ok to sit in his car seat and listen to the noise of the shower, but I couldn't go behind the curtain where he couldn't see me because he would just scream the whole time.

I'd just count your blessings that you have easier DC to deal with.

Jesus I hope none of your kids ever struggle with their first baby when they're older. I can just picture you now 'what do you mean you haven't had a shower today? It isn't rocket science you know, i managed it with four of you'

Delete the poor woman off facebook rather than making her out to be some sort of useless leech

Well I'm entitled to my opinion

Yes, yes you are. And here's a shocker for you - so is she! Imagine that!

Newsflash: not all babies are the same.
You are being judgemental and mean. Yes you are entitled to your opinion but your opinion is a judgemental mean one.

It really isn't that difficult to brush your teeth and no none of my kids were easy but I'm sure she goes to the toilet when she needs to and leaves the baby so she can manage to brush her teeth aswell!

I'm not a parent, no experience with babies, but just a few months on MN and I was very clear on how incredibly hard it can be with a young child.
YABU

@hashbrowns my dd is 11 months old and today I still haven't found time to brush my teeth or eat breakfast. DD took half an hour to go down for her nap, at which point I have crashed down on my bed and can't find the energy to get up. I can't eat around her because she will either cry if I am not on the floor with her, and will then spend the whole time pulling my plate away, more whining...there's simply no point.
As for brushing my teeth when she is awake, cue more whining, pulling at my ankles...much like your friend I think in the end you just can't be fucked!
You clearly haven't had a baby that needs you ALL THE TIME. It is relentless and exhausting.