To feel my husbands family are a bit racist

[Winterandspring]

I think racist is probably the wrong word I’m looking for.

I met dh when he’d already been living in England for almost a decade and now we are expecting our first child the attitude is very much that it’s time for him to come ‘home’ now They constantly slag England off, the traffic, the high price of houses. Whenever we are there they stop at houses and shout ‘how much would this set you back in England eh’ and we say £200,000 or whatever and they shout triumphantly how much cheaper it is there! Neither of us like visiting because it’s a faff either flying and hiring a car or expensive ferry trips and they won’t come to us. Plus it’s tense the whole time due to them complaining about England and the schools or trying to shove food on us.

What is worrying me though is I have no support at all and have struggled in this pregnancy. Dh has been making ‘well maybe we could think about’ noises. I would struggle to get work over there and so really my support would be his family, I’d rather not!

I don’t know why I’m posting but there was an argument last night and it’s just been annoying me today.

sad indictment that is :)

It’s ok, Dull. There’s room for all remainers!

yes it does. Mind you have u ever thought that everywhere gets a 'rough deal'? I mean 'the English' ( working people) weren't treated any better by the Brit govt than anyone else were they?

Orphanages emptied and their residents sent to 'the New World'? A whole generation of boys sent to their deaths? Working class people living in vile slums?

(etc etc)

thanks Mags..:)
I might get an Irish passport soon.
I have the old man's birth lines in my handbag..

I have enormous sympathy with English remainers too. It’s all so bloody frightening.
The government not so much. I always hated the Tories but cuddling up to the DUP made me sick.

@bobsharedalink lived here long have you? Because I’ve lived here my entire life and only on moving to Lanarkshire discovered the delightful little bands with their silly little hats going round attacking catholics. So there is a small area of Scotland blighted by a NI import and you write off my entire country as sectarianism? Away and chase yourself.

Sectarian, not sectarianism.

I’m not trying to rile you, I’m asking questions which you’re painfully avoiding, or correcting your misinformation so you don’t keep making a show of yourself.

You can actually read, I assume. Yet you still can’t read my username.

And your “best secondary school” seems to have failed to teach you basic history! 😂

Be a dear and name it, won’t you? So parents who want actual educated, informed children know to avoid it.

I have the old man's birth lines in my handbag..

That’s impressive! I’ve got a half eaten twix and some nappies in mine

Shocking as it is, not everyone thinks the UK is the best place on earth to live.
Fine. They don't have to live here!
Fact is, the OP met a man who was in living in Britain and had no plans to move back to Ireland. OP has no interest in living there and has never expressed such interest. Given that they met, live and have started a family in this country, it's unfair for her dh to change the terms of what she signed upto, by making noises about living in Ireland.

My h and ILs would be told it's not happening. End of! And to stop slagging off my country or seeing them is not going to happen very often! It's so rude amd shouldn't be tolerated. I bet they'd all hate it if you constantly criticised Ireland to them. Your h chose to live here - Britain has given him a home and career and family and imo he ought to defend it more.

Best secondary school in NI and 14th in The UK; thanks for asking

I suppose some children will manage to evade an education no matter where you send them.

And still not answering the question of it not being a fact that the British occupied Ireland I see.

They don't have to live here!

Skating dangerously close to “well just go back to where you came from” with that comment no?

And telling an Irishman he ought to be grateful to Britain for giving him a home? Pfft. Surely as a taxpayer he’s contributing so no gratitude needed.

I think Britain should be grateful that so many Irish people came over and basically built the country's infrastructure..:)

@DullAndOld spot on!

Landowners sold their crops. The British didn't engineer year after year of disease and nor did they want it imported accidentally from N. America. Laws were made to benefit the Irish who were starving up to and including forcing their employers to feed them.

And who were the landowners, Bob? That's right, British.

Funny that you mention N. America, because the First Nation tribes sent substantial aid to the Irish during the 'famine' when the British landowners were still loading up the ships destined for Britain with food. And yet landowners had to be forced by law eventuallyto feed their own workers. Despite driving carts laden with crops past the corpses of men, women and children to the port.

Persecuted First Nation tribes with barely a pot to piss in willingly gave what they could. Yet the landowners had to be forced.

People like you, bobsharedalink, are by far the worst thing about living in NI. How embarrassing.

I'm English married to an East Belfast born and bred son of a Protestant minister and we and everyone we know call Derry by its proper name. As for your offensive and ill-informed views on the famine, one can only assume you received an extremely biased and one-sided education and haven't bothered to rectify that in later life. Unfortunately you're not alone in that.

(Also potato bread is delicious.)

Let’s not forget the fact that your queen blocked the funds from actually getting to the starving Irish.

But then, someone who received a top drawer Northern Irish education would know this already...

Apparently you struggle to read MadMags username! (Quick hint, it’s not megs)

Do you genuinely believe that all the British government has ever done is try to help the Irish? That’s a serious question.

Because if you do I absolutely despair. I bet you voted for Arlene Foster and her pals too.

Not, the IL's don't live here, so hardly telling them to go back home. It's saying that fine, they don't have to like the place because they didn't choose it, but their son did and it's their dil's country and therefore it's bloody rude to slag it off to her at every opportunity. Presumably the OP is not doing the same about Ireland because she has manners.

And yes, I do think that if you choose to live somewhere and it has provided you with opportunities you might not have had at home and you have a nice life, then you should be appreciative and not let uour family bitch about it all the time. Certainly not to your spouse, who is from that country.
It doesn't really matter what countries we are talking about btw.
I am just as critical of Brits who move abroad and then gripe about everything, refuse to take part and expect everything to be just like here but with sun!

I think if you move to a place and then moan about it it's not unreasonable if someone says don't let the door hit you in the arse...

I’ve decided you’re only here to wind people up. Nobody is that thick as shit. It isn’t possible.

Fair enough, I didn’t get that impression from your first post but I see your point (until the last line) in the second.

Actually having reread it, what opportunities would the UK offer that Ireland couldn’t?

Well, he presumably came for a reason. It might have been a specific job in a UK based company or even that he just fancied a change. All countries offer different experiences. It's not a criticism of Ireland. My own db lives in the USA - it's not wholly better or worse, but it is different and you can't do exactly the same things in both.