To think the no pubes thing is a trend....

[inmyshoos]

My previous career had me seeing people's genitals on a daily basis. Most had full pubic hair. Now I can see (mostly on naked attraction) that fully shaved is the fashion.
But was slightly surprised when a 50 something friend of mine said he prefers shaven as I assumed he would be less 'trendy' like me with my 80s stylefanny
Is it just a personal preference?? In my day at work it was defo rare to see fully shaved. Out of 20 people you'd be lucky if 2 were bald!

@Slarti we are not talking about homosexuality or men. We are talking about teenage girls or women's views on anal sex where the anus in question belongs to themselves.

Gay people can do exactly what they like, but we are not debating them at the moment.

I am not arguing against any sex. I am arguing against pressure, coercion and expectations to shave one's vagina or engage in anal sex that is not wanted.

I have oral sex. It's fine. Personally I don't think a mouth is a natural place to put a penis. I don't think the female body is a collection of places to put a penis!

But if consenting adults wish to do it, I don't care. I also don't need to have tried everything to have an opinion on it!

Yes , nipples do go in infant mouths. If adults put nipples in mouths, that's fine. I like it too. But risks involved in nipples are miniscule, and even a penis in a mouth is considerably less dangerous than a penis in an anus.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe have you got kids? Have you tried all drugs? Have you given your kids your opinion on drugs you've not tried?

It is ok to have an opinion on something you've not personally done. I know this is hard to understand but we all do it. All the time.

And you are 100%.ok to have an opinion on mushrooms. You know some people die eating the wrong kind of wild mushroom. It's ok to not try mushrooms. It's ok to have an opinion on anything.

I am so sorry @BatShite that your 13 year old is being teased. Schools should be telling young people their natural bodies are totally fine as they are not. Not providing any platform for children to be bullied. Changing rooms should not be communal for just this reason, I think.

Can’t believe that girls are now teasing each other for having pubic hair, how awful. I really hope that your DSD doesn’t give in to peer pressure Bat.

Yeah I also don't think teens should be changing together at school and swimming tbh. The baths they use has a couple of cubicles but apparently the kids aren't allowed to use them as there would be arguments of who got them...

Teachers appear to be doing nothing. When her mum spoke to them they basically said 'kids tease each other all the time, its normal' and that was pretty much it. She was raging about it.

I have advised if the school won't let DSD use the cubicle, to say she is not doing swimming at all. Thats what I would do if it was my daughter..my hands are pretty tied with it being my stepdaughter as school obviously would not listen to me. Dh wanted to go and see the teacher about it but DSDs mother said no as he can have a terrible temper when its something to do with his kids, which IMO is pretty understandable but him going up shouting on is not going to help anyone.

I am expecting her breaking down again this weekend about something. Such an awful time for children when they start going through puberty. I cannot believe that kids are picking on each other over fucking pubic hair.

Also the 'only slags do anal' is ridiculous.

I am expecting her breaking down again this weekend about something. Such an awful time for children when they start going through puberty. I cannot believe that kids are picking on each other over fucking pubic hair

This is heartbreaking. I truly believe women and girls are under so much pressure these days all in the name of a "trend".

Well you can keep your fucking trend. My bush is bushy and always will be.

The word bush in this context is grim.

This is a bush:

c8.alamy.com/comp/BT96Y6/rose-bush-in-bloom-on-mainau-island-on-lake-constance-baden-wuerttemberg-BT96Y6.jpg

Well, each to his own I suppose.

I can barely be bothered to pluck my eyebrows, so beautifying my fanny is not a priority for me ...

*her own!

Sharknose, thanks for picking out Honks post but what about the other one where - having not tried this herself -

Womblinglove and WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Have you ever tried anal sex? I don't need to stick a pen in my eye to know what it's like! 🤣🤣🤣

Along with the snide comment to Wombling before flouncing off.

People can say what they want but it doesn't mean that it won't go unchallenged. So you can keep your patronising post but as we're obviously boring each other, I won't mind a bit if you don't respond.

Itailan yes I do have kids. No I haven't tried every drug. No, I don't want my kids to do drugs. Have we covered it all now?

Yes it's ok to have an opinion on everything under the sun. It's not ok to judge people for the things they do that impact nobody else. In case this is 'hard to understand' we'll use my mushroom analogy;

"I do not like mushrooms, they're grey, slimey, pink with purple spots". OK
as opposed to
"I don't know why anybody would eat mushrooms? They must be stupid/uneducated/insert more choice insults". Not OK

I see a difference because it's quite massive. One is an opinion and one is an insulting diatribe that isn't an opinion at all.

Sharkeynose: I feel Dgm was more concerned that her Dgd's friend was having anal sex with a boy and not liking it, than what language they used.

This was only mentioned as part of a drip feed several pages later. The initial post was "I told them that if any boy suggests anal to tell him to eff off." I think it's fair at that point for pp to challenge the wisdom of telling young adults what sex acts they mustn't do, just as we would challenge anyone telling them which ones they must do. If this really was all about a boy pressuring a girl into doing something sexual that she didn't like then it's not an anal sex issue at all but a consent and possibly sexual abuse one! I can't help thinking the story of the friend was made up and introduced because Honky got challenged. Telling quickly became advising became opining became someone was getting pressured into performing a sex act.

@Italian You must surely be aware of the homophobic connotations to what you said even if the thread isn't specifically about gay men (it wasn't about anal sex at all but that's how the thread has gone). I just find the notion that a sex act is wrong because it isn't natural to be a justification which lies on very dodgy ground.

I did not say I judged you! Frankly of you have sound something sexually pleasurable good for. I honestly mean that.

My references to 'natural' was about biology, not sexual preferences. I don't look down on anyone for consenting sex.

I hope I personally did not call anyone stupid for consensual acts. It's about vulnerable people being pressurized.

@Slarti why don't you believe the poster was telling the truth? Do you think it is not true young girls get pressurised into anal sex. There seems to be information 'out there' that it really does happen.

@Slarti did I say it was wrong? I'm not homophobic and not all gay people have anal sex, not even all gay men, so I am told. 'Natural' refers to the mechanics of how bodies work. So there are dangers associated with putting something up it. You must know that. And consensual, safe anal sex is very different to younger women being pressurised.

I do apologize if you took my words to be homophobic. I am not. But I don't want to give you the impression I am.

I think I had better exit this thread. I don't want to be offending people and I think I''ve talked enough about anal sex amf shaving for one year.

Good luck all. Just remember you are all fabulous women and men are lucky to have you.

Don't leave the thread, Italiangreyhound, I can be am completely forthright myself. I don't mind a robust discussion and most on the thread seem capable of doing that.

I don't really have an opinion on anal sex other than I don't like it much so unless my partner really wants to - and I feel like obliging - I don't do it. It's interesting to know what other people like (without my sounding like some sort of 'perv') but the thread sort of segway'd into that from the bod hair issue.

I'm very much in favour of removing my body hair and for defending my position because I think I have to. That is really the crux of it. No woman (or man) should have to defend their consented removal of body hair or any other practice to others. That's why this thread is long and emotive.

I'd like to be a better feminist than I am; I just can't get past this topic which seems to be some sort of 'deal-breaker' and it's a shame because as Hoof said on another thread, "... there really are more pressing topics that we as women need to stand up for and causing an issue over a minor thing would be needlessly divisive". That really accords with my own feelings. I know I can be passionate - and I think I can be fair - I just don't need the distraction of minor things to get hung up on.

Not sure you are giving a good account of yourself if you say you only have anal sex to please your partner. I hope that's not the case.

Firstly, shhhfastasleep, I don't need to give an account of myself at all. Secondly, any sex I do have is entirely consensual, that included - and I'm free to say 'no' to it or anything else - and that is the point. Between two consenting adults it's nobody else's business.

This is why these threads get so pithy. You didn't need to write that post the way you did, you just chose to. It would get my back up, if I cared, but I really don't.

Slarti
what I am wondering, is why, presumably grown women, are so upset and outraged at a comment made by a couple of teenagers!
These posters, who are so angry at the comment should be confident enough with whatever sexual practice they enjoy, to shrug and think, as I did, just a couple of kids, using language which a lot of teenagers use.
The degree of outrage and animosity shown could have more to do with how posters may perceive themselves than what a couple of teens said.
If you have the confidence that what you are doing is fine, surely a couple of teenagers comment should not bother you to such an extent.
It seems to have touched a nerve with some posters to an alarming degree!

Not sure you are giving a good account of yourself if you say you only have anal sex to please your partner

Just wanted to pick up on this point.

I don't think anyone doing anything sexual to please their partner provided they haven't been coerced is an issue.

Everyone has their preferences, as long as they're discussed between consenting adults and someone isn't being forced into doing anything they're not comfortable with, I don't see an issue.

These posters, who are so angry at the comment should be confident enough with whatever sexual practice they enjoy, to shrug and think, as I did, just a couple of kids, using language which a lot of teenagers use

Attitudes towards women and sexuality won't change until words like "slag" and "slut" aren't used as insults. What better place to start a change than with young people.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe thank you for your kind sentiments.

JaquesHammer
But they're not going to change how teenagers think or speak by raging about it on Mn.
Teenagers will have their own words and expressions and if they upset us too much, the best we can do is ignore them.
Giving them a telling off won't work, they'll still walk away and carry on swearing. But in time, I'm sure most of them grow out of it.

back at you, Italiangreyhound... I'll see your flowers and raise you a and and

I wasn't saying you were homophobic Italian and I certainly wouldn't want you to feel pushed out of the thread because I've given off that message. It's just that there is an obvious and inescapable connotation that exists, even if you aren't intending to allude to it, when saying anal sex isn't natural. It reads as a negative value judgement. I accept that is perhaps my own misinterpretation but that is how it is often contextualised. What were you meaning to convey by bringing it up?

why don't you believe the poster was telling the truth? Do you think it is not true young girls get pressurised into anal sex. There seems to be information 'out there' that it really does happen.

That's as obvious a strawman as I've ever seen. No, that's not the reason I don't believe Honky. As with any dripfeed that justifies a poster or deflects from criticism, I am naturally sceptical of this important information that was initially omitted and which conveniently changes the poster's role from unreasonable to reasonable.

Let's face it, her first post was "don't get me going about anal sex, that someone mentioned. I've told my Dgd's if anyone suggests it tell them to eff right off!" When coupled with the "only slags have anal sex comment", which she felt no compulsion to challenge, I think the likeliest scenario is that she personally has a negative view of anal sex (and those who practice it). When challenged on this and her exercising control over her DGDs sexuality, the story conveniently changed to include this friend who has been pressured into anal sex and that the conversation was really about advising them about the pressures they face as young women. From unreasonable to ultra reasonable, yet her first post said none of that.

Do you really find it likely that a situation occurred where a girl has been coerced into sex and Honky's main issue is with the type of sex act rather than the potential abuse that's taken place, and then to be ok with her DGDs indirectly calling their friend a slag. "Hey Grandma, we're a bit worried about our friend who's boyfriend has been pressuring her into having anal sex even though she doesn't enjoy it. Oh, by the way, only slags have anal sex." Sorry I'm not buying it.

@Slarti thank you. I don't feel pushed out but I do feel one should be able to talk about vulnerable girls/women without having to reference gay men.

'Natural' as I explained above is about the function of the body part not a human choice for use. I don't object to people consenually using their bums for pleasure but the biological nature of an anus is to have something pass out of it, not into it.

This makes it a 'vulnerable' part of the body of used for sex. It's quite different to talk of safe, consensual behaviour against the expectations on young women (girls) by casual boyfriends of anal sex. I am sorry if you see that as a straw man. I don't.

So in this context we are talking about girls feeling pressurised into it, that is what a previous poster was talking about. So consenting adults - gay or straight, male or female was not my concern.

And no one needs to defend their position to me but equally to me we can all have an opinion on what we think without having to have experienced it. That was my point.