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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the no pubes thing is a trend....

530 replies

inmyshoos · 10/01/2018 07:55

My previous career had me seeing people's genitals on a daily basis. Most had full pubic hair. Now I can see (mostly on naked attraction) that fully shaved is the fashion.
But was slightly surprised when a 50 something friend of mine said he prefers shaven as I assumed he would be less 'trendy' like me with my 80s stylefanny
Is it just a personal preference?? In my day at work it was defo rare to see fully shaved. Out of 20 people you'd be lucky if 2 were bald!

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 12/01/2018 05:48

WatchTheFoxes and MoreGalaxyNow The point I was making was that that poster had such vitriol about anal sex (and quite clearly the “only slags have anal sex” comment was not by her granddaughters, but her) yet hadn’t had it in order to have an accurate and informed opinion on it.

Of course everyone is entitled to say no and refuse to do any sex act they wish for whatever reason; nobody is trying to say otherwise. And of course you can have an opinion; again, nobody is trying to say otherwise.

But what I was trying to say is that that poster cannot have an accurate and informed opinion having never tried it, and perhaps they should be less judgemental and rude about something many people enjoy.

She might never want to have anal sex and that’s fine, but there’s no need for the attitude that she had about it.

Battleax · 12/01/2018 05:51

and quite clearly the “only slags have anal sex” comment was not by her granddaughters, but her)

IS that clear? It's not clear to me.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 12/01/2018 06:12

IS that clear? It's not clear to me.

To me and many other posters, yep.

Battleax · 12/01/2018 06:18

I thought it was the teen/gran relationship that sounded unusually relaxed, TBH. Not that strange blanket condemnations sometimes issue from the mouths of teens.

Slarti · 12/01/2018 06:21

Seems hypocritical of the young ones with full face fungus

What on earth is "full face fungus"? Please tell me its not a shaming phrase for beards, that would take the hypocrisy of the thread to a whole new level.

Slarti · 12/01/2018 06:22

Seems hypocritical of the young ones with full face fungus

What on earth is "full face fungus"? Please tell me its not a shaming phrase for beards, that would take the hypocrisy of the thread to a whole new level.

GreenFingeredGardener7 · 12/01/2018 07:44

But what I was trying to say is that that poster cannot have an accurate and informed opinion having never tried it,

Yes you can. You do NOT need to try something sexual to know whether you want to try it, especially something painful and dangerous. That is an accurate and informed opinion. I don’t think you are making it come across any better by saying the same thing again. Thinking that women need to try anything sexual before having an accurate opinion on it is a completely misogynistic and repulsive attitude. The same thing would never be said to a man.

Slarti · 12/01/2018 08:03

You do NOT need to try something sexual to know whether you want to try it

Do you mean to keep misquoting? The first couple of times can be explained as a mistake but I'm starting to interpret it as dishonesty now. Nobody has said what you are saying they have said.

shhhfastasleep · 12/01/2018 08:17

All sorts of wilful misrepresentation on this thread.

ChocolateWombat · 12/01/2018 08:31

People who think it is a trend - does that mean it will pass and people will return to not shaving again? Or now it's here, is it here to stay?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 12/01/2018 08:48

GreenFingeredGardener7 Are you deliberately missing out the bits of my post that don’t stack with what you wish I said?

You apparently missed the paragraph above the bit you copied Confused so I’ll just repost it for you:

Of course everyone is entitled to say no and refuse to do any sex act they wish for whatever reason; nobody is trying to say otherwise. And of course you can have an opinion; again, nobody is trying to say otherwise.

Also, everything is dangerous when proper precautions aren’t taken. So no, anal sex in and of itself isn’t dangerous. It only becomes dangerous when you’re not careful, same as if you’re an idiot and don’t look while you’re crossing the road.

Italiangreyhound · 12/01/2018 08:57

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017 I don't think it is clear that the use of the word slags came from the grandma. I think she was quoting. That is what she said.

I don't care if adults have anal sex but I think it is not a natural place to put a penis and can be dangerous. The way you suggest only people who have tried it can really understand about it is annoying because it is coming across that if you haven't tried it you can't really make an informed decision or have an informed opinion on it. That is how it is coming across to me.

Slarti · 12/01/2018 09:09

Whether or not that little nugget of misogyny came from Honky or her DGCs, the fact that she felt no need to challenge it and actually repeated it here seemingly to bolster her position on anal sex does speak volumes.

As for a sex act being natural, do you really want to go down that road? It's the argument that's been used to justify homophobia for decades. Besides which, your mouth is not a natural place to put a penis, vulva, or nipple (for an adult). So do you really think it's a good justification against a sex act?

Sharkynose · 12/01/2018 10:58

Re-read this thread and I didn't read what other posters seem to have done.
It seemed to me that the Dgd's were asking advise on anal sex as a friend of theirs had told them that she was doing this with her boyfriend and did not like it.

They asked their Dgm opinion on this and she gave her opinion.
Why, some posters seem to be shocked that teenagers are talking to their Dgm regarding a worry about sex, is very odd.
Does anyone know if these teenagers have a Dm and so need to confide in their Dgm.

In either case I think teenagers should be able to ask opinions from anyone, even, shock horror Dgf's

RoseWhiteTips · 12/01/2018 11:04

It is not a trend. There is no returning.

squoosh · 12/01/2018 11:08

There's no returning to pubes?

Is that a new law they passed?

squoosh · 12/01/2018 11:08

In either case I think teenagers should be able to ask opinions from anyone, even, shock horror Dgf's

And Grandmama darling should tell them not describe other women as 'slags'.

RoseWhiteTips · 12/01/2018 11:09

WhatToDoAboutThis2017

IS that clear? It's not clear to me.

To me and many other posters, yep.

Don’t be absurd. You do not know this.
Pfft

shhhfastasleep · 12/01/2018 11:26

There's no returning so obviously there's also no pressure on young women Hmm.

Ginburee · 12/01/2018 11:58

As a HCP who sees a lot of genitals at work I can honestly say that noone bats an eyelid whether you are completely naked or very hairy. I have never heard another HCP ever comment on a patient's pubes in the staff room.
As someone mentioned before it does concern us if someone says that they have shaved all off as DP prefers it, and also if they say that about anal sex. Personally I don't have anal sex but I do have a particularly nasty haemorrhoid and so I can't, I do miss my anal beads though.
Many people are watching porn at a younger age and there is a level of expectation as to what is 'normal'. I could go on but it is cross posting.
Personally I never took it all off as I had too many skin issues when I did try. Now I just leave it and tidy up when I go swimming, I am quite lucky as mine is thinning out nicely with age. I do remember being at school in the late 80's and the pressure of not having any leg/arm hair and God forbid you have strays poking out of your swimming costume. My friends were all totally grossed out when I had some cousins staying from Europe and we went swimming as they had never shaved a single hair and didn't care that they had hair.
All my smalls have pointed out that I have hair on my bottom, and I say yes I do and one day so will you. It's up to them if they remove it.

Sharkynose · 12/01/2018 12:00

sqoosh
Working with teenagers, I can tell you that they come out with quite a lot of bad language.

I feel Dgm was more concerned that her Dgd's friend was having anal sex with a boy and not liking it, than what language they used.
She did not say that she approved of the language, only that she did not "pull them over the coals" about it.
Keeping lines of communication open with teenagers is more important than
being shocked at their language.

Joey7t8 · 12/01/2018 12:38

I think that no pubes is more of an evolving fashion rather than a trend. And that includes men as much as women.

Manscaping wasn't really a thing about 10 years ago, but it's fairly normal now. I'm one
of an increasing number of men that have the whole back, sack, crack wax done and love the way it looks and feels :-)

Maireadplastic · 12/01/2018 12:54

SeamusMcDubh- totally agree about resenting the time and effort involved in getting 'presentable' in a swim suit. My effort is definitely diminishing.
Italiangreyhound- Yes, capitalism has a lot to answer for here.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/01/2018 13:05

I'm agreeing very much with WhatToDo's post and I think that some posters are deliberately misleading/misquoting and otherwise being collusive in presenting mis-statements as some kind of facts.

Sharknose - This was Honky's post:
As someone mentioned, it's been popularized by the porn industry, which is mainly the degradation of women and don't get me going about anal sex, that someone mentioned. I've told my Dgd's if anyone suggests it tell them to eff right off!

Where exactly did she mention about her granddaughters' friend having had anal sex with a boy and not liking it? Confused

That said, why on earth would anybody comment on something they've not tried with an opinion on what it's actually like and whether other people should be doing it? That's just stupidity. I don't like mushrooms, have never eaten one, probably never will. I can tell you that too me they look grey and slimey but I can't tell you what they taste like. If I were to tell you that you were wrong (change to 'slutty' for context) for eating one then you'd rightly tell me to bore off.

It's great that we can have discussions about this subject but the outright lying and mis-leading is getting old - and tired. You either have the facts to back up what you're saying or you quote other posters properly. Or at least have the decency to apologise to the poster you've maligned rather than look frantically around for some chums to back you up in your inaccuracy.

Sharkynose · 12/01/2018 13:41

LyingWitcinInTheWardrobe

Please read the thread, you are becoming boring and tiring!

So, on Wed @ 13.32. Honky posted in answer to being attacked and pilloried for having the temerity to answer her Dgds questions. And give her opinion.

They brought it up as a friend of theirs was having anal with her boyfriend and didn't like it. So, I gave my advise

Teenagers need to be able to ask questions to as many people as they can.
Whether they take the advise or opinion given is up to them.
I am at a loss to understand why you cannot understand this most basic premise.

And again anyone is allowed an opinion on anything whether they have tried it or not. And allowed to voice that opinion.