To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

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I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

yes but I would've waited a few years and let us both go our seperate ways a while as I didn't take an amazing job offer up so that I could get married that year and I still regret it years on.
I think even if we had seperated back then we would be come back together again I'm quite confident abiut that.

I know that Fionne but you are talking logically and I am speaking from my heart. I do find that particular kind of pedantry rather tiresome.

No but it breaks my heart to say it. He died from cancer after 11 years of marriage and now I’m raising two kids alone. I wouldn’t choose this life for myself if I could turn back the clock.

Yes. If my wedding day would be as perfect again. ❤❤
I've been with DH for 10 years since we were teenagers, dd came along 18 months later and then it took a further 7 years to get married. I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't even do it sooner.
We've both done a hell of a lot of growing up in those 10 years. I love him more now than ever before ❤❤❤

Hell yes!
I just wish that we'd met a little later in life to have the opportunity to build up more individual friendships and play the field (we met when we were both 21)

After 20 years most definitely not. Am almost divorced but looking back I'd never have married anyone and never will.
The institution of marriage doesn't suit me and I can't see the point of it.

So sorry Tiggy, that is devastating and must be so terribly hard for you .

What a simultaneously lovely yet sad thread. And, yes, in a heartbeat. But no other man on the planet. Of that I'm sure.

Tricky one, known him for 31 years and married for 28. Not sure really , we are chalk and cheese ( still) and he has some annoying habits that will never change - I am dreading retirement, although, hopefully, he will carry on with his hobbies and manage to go out a lot during the week once he is no longer at work. It might be testing if we spend too much time together during the week.
I would say no, although we are reasonably happy together now , had lots of rocky moments though. I really dont know , but hindsight is a wonderful thing!

sorry to read Tiggy's post, that really is sad to hear. must be so hard for you all.

No.

pinksun12 that's exactly what I meant too, we were 20 when we met and I kind of wish we had met later as I've only ever been with him and him me and sometimes I think it would've been good to get partying etc out of my system before I met him.

I'd be even more sure that it was the right thing! I was sure I was marrying the right man then but 26 years on and things have just got better and better ❤️

Probably not. We are happy together and I have no intention of leaving, but I would have chosen someone more financially stable/career minded.

Waitingforsunday I only have boys, but if I had girls, I'd agree with you and tell them not to get married. I think I'd be happy for my boys to marry the right person because often marriage and partnership seems to be better than they think its going to be, but for women, it's much worse! Maybe that won't be the case by the time our kids are adults!

God no.

Yes.

I would still marry him but I would wait a few more years. We got married and started TTC very young, (got married at 21, had dd1 at 24). I'd like to travel more and do more (uni) before we settled down together.

Marriage is not always 'much worse' for women than men!

It makes me sad that we'd want to discourage marriage rather than address the reasons as to why that might be in some cases.

I would not have married my DH if he hadn't seen me as anything other than his absolute equal. That means sharing the housework, sharing the childcare, each of us being a bit flexible about our career if necessary. All sorts of other things too.

I will encourage my daughters to think very carefully about what they want out of life and have frank and open discussions with any potential husband/wife. I won't be discouraging marriage as a point of principle.

We have to be the role models here. What chance is there that things will change before our children are of marriageable age otherwise?

Absolutely 100% yes! 26 years since we met, 22 married this year. I love him and fancy him even more now than I did then.

I honestly don't know. As pp said I would still want the dc, but we were young and hadn't lived together before we got married. We are together a long time (30+ years) and there have been more downs than ups in the last 8 years or so. Feel a bit sad writing that down actually.

After 39 years - yes without hesitation.

I had to RTFT to see what the OP meant. I have a colleague who got married and divorced three years later; then she met her ex again and they lived together for nearly twenty years before they got married again recently. I think the remarriage was to keep the Chancellor of the Exchequer from sending round the begging bowl taking IHT when one of them joins the vast majority.

Hell no.

I would never have married someone from a different country and culture with family who would never accept me. My DC have missed out on a whole side of their family who couldn't give two shits about them and never see them.

The cultural misogyny is engrained and he is hating living away from 'home' more and more as he gets older.

He feels the same way and regrets not marrying a woman from his country who would have slaved after him, kept her mouth shut and would never have let herself go like I have

Yes definitely! Actually in Feb we are getting married again in that we are having a small ceremony to renew our vows!
We have been together 20 years and married for 15. The only thing I would change is that we had our DCs very soon after getting married, less than a year, and I wished we had had more time just us. I in no way regret having our DCs though, just have preferred to wait another year.

No, not in a million years. After 28 years together, he has just been diagnosed with ADD. It's ruined our lives. Would have to keep my beloved children though :-)