To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

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I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

Sadly probably not. Lots of reasons why. We don't hate each other though but the relationship is more like brother and sister than life partners.

No.
It has been everything I never wanted and I am stuck with it.

Only been married 18 months but honestly no I wouldn't.

He's become very complacent since we married and I think he thinks that having a ring on my finger means I'll always stay married to him.

I do love him though, and we have a DC together so I'd probably just stay as his DP.

Yes. We're very different people to those two who met 25 years ago but luckily we've grown together.
Wouldn't wear the same dress though

I would. Dh has mellowed with age. More chilled out.

Probably no

We’re opposites attract and I worry I married him because he loves me so much. Struggling to feel anything for him atm, we don’t argue however and the kids are great.

Now trying to decide whether to talk to him about how I’m feeling.

Interesting everyone saying yes and I wish I'd met him sooner.

I would marry mine again without hesitation but I wish I'd met him later . We met when we were young and I never got to kiss any frogs. I wish I'd had a couple of years to have adventures before I met the one for me.

On balance, no, but that’s mainly down to me. I just didn’t know myself well enough. I also didn’t understand how much/often I need to be on my own (which seems to become more pronounced as I get older), and really how ill-suited I am for this sort of relationship.

But it’s a good relationship, over 30 years, and I believe it will only end when one of us does.

Yes without a shadow of a doubt, I’m lucky I met the right man at the right time.

Oh, yes. The day I met him if possible.

No, he turned out to be a pathological liar and has moved abroad with his OW.

I wouldn’t change DD(2) for anything though so it’s hard to regret everything. It’s still very raw so maybe time will change it but we got married in the church I got christened in and grew up in and I’m raging I wasted it on a bastard, even a very convincing one. Turns out he was this person all along, he just got better at hiding it.

Getting married this year after 7 years and one DC together.

We got together relatively late in life, but had originally met ten years earlier. We should have gotten together then. It might have saved him from some pretty bad experiences and we would probably have more than one DC now.

We got there in the end and I love him 😍

No, we drive each other mad!

Yes. No question.

But I'd have had a different wedding.
Been married 5 years earlier.
Had one more child.

I would definitely and with even more confidence and happiness.

No. I settled.
I love him. I adore ds. He’s a good dad but so antisocial that it affects our life.
I am not unhappy though. I wish he was just a bit more open to socialising. I was very gregarious before we met and his behaviour has rubbed off on me.
In many ways he was exactly what I needed at the time. I needed to have someone steady and reliable. I got that. I told him when we met that I needed to be his priority and I wouldn’t play second fiddle to anything or anyone. I have that too,except there’s nothing to be second place to, no interests or friends.
So I would have still married him with some big tweaks.

No but because of other external factors.

No. I adore my DC but if I hadn’t met and married him, then I wouldn’t be living my life as a bereaved mother. It’s absolute hell to lose a child and has ruined my health and happiness. I’d rather be single and naive, rather than waking up to this hell every single day.

Yes absolutely!!!

I don't know many friends who would genuinely say yes though.

It's all pretences for a lot o couples!

Yes, because of my child. Otherwise I swing between regretting it entirely and philosophically believing that I learnt a lot during the course of our relationship and I wouldn’t be who I am now had it not happened.

@PavlovianLunge I feel the same. I also feel quite guilty as I feel I’ve settled. I met dh after a 7 year relationship and he persuaded me. I did end it once but he was quite relentless. I was mid 20s and wished I’d left it later but he’s a reliable bloke. But I’m struggling as he’s not supportive enough to our dc with Sen. He’s also very disorganised but financially very good. I often wish my life wasn’t this one but he’d be an absolute bastard if we split and I’m not sure it would be good for the kids.

@ChickenMom I’m so sorry for your loss. It must be heartbreaking to lose a child

are there more nos or more yeses?

Nope. I can't believe how poor a judge of character I was. The stories on here are heartwarming though.

Yep - together 29 years, married 25. Not always been easy but what is