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Original poster

To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

484 replies

constantchange · 09/01/2018 08:27

I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

OP posts:
Raisedbyguineapigs · 09/01/2018 13:12

I agree with pps. My DH is a good man. Thoughtful, does his fair share, good with the kids but he is prone to anxiety andcdepression. Selfishly, my life would be much easier if I didn't have to worry about another adult and their stressed.

Dontbuymeroses · 09/01/2018 13:13

Sadly not. To steal from a post up thread it's 'bad but not bad enough to do anything about'. The ducks are being lined in a row but it will take a good few years. The DC couldn't bare a split atm and financially it would set us too far back. Some days I really don't even want to get up. I regularly kick myself for getting it all so wrong .

Disclaimer is that not ALL of our troubles are his fault.

theDudesmummy · 09/01/2018 13:14

Current DH, absolutely 100%.

First marriage, well I think I would have done that too, but only for the reason that if I had not married him I would have married someone else and might have stayed with them rather than divorcing, meaning therefore I would not be with current DH (I could not have married current DH first time round as he would have been too young).

bumblingbovine49 · 09/01/2018 13:16

Yes I would even though I had some doubts about getting marrried -
at the time (the state of marriage, rather than him per se) but this as well:..............
I would have to think very, very hard about marrying a vegetarian because it annoys the hell out of me. but I probably still would.

Weird thing is my first husband was vegetarian as well !! (I can't seem to escape them)

I am also not sure DH would say he would marry me againa though, I am the much harder work in our marriage. Being with him is incredibly easy

JessYouMe · 09/01/2018 13:19

Yes, 100%. We've only been married 2 years but together for almost 10 and I love him more now than ever. He drives me crazy sometimes but is basically the best human being, husband and father you could ever meet.

Gottabenow · 09/01/2018 13:19

Divorced now but I definitely chose the wrong man to marry and I regret that a lot.

Kintan · 09/01/2018 13:20

Yes, in a heartbeat! Married 7 years and he is still my favourite person in the whole world, and the best co-parent I could have asked for :)

Ridingthegravytrain · 09/01/2018 13:21

No

Teutonic · 09/01/2018 13:21

Yes, yes and thrice yes. Only to my husband though, no other man.
Married 33 years now, despite everyone saying it wouldn't last. Had all the crap life can throw thrown at us, but we're still here holding hands and laughing in the face of adversity.

CrustyCob · 09/01/2018 13:22

Yes, been married decades. He is honest, loving, hard working, a bit grumpy, and has never done anyone a bad turn in his life. We still make each other laugh.

Iwantaunicorn · 09/01/2018 13:24

In a heartbeat. The only thing I probably would change is I’d bring it all forwards by a couple of years so my kids got to meet someone special who died before they were born.

YearOfYouRemember · 09/01/2018 13:24

I've changed my mind a bit having just had an emergency with dd and dh sorting it so he could do what I asked with no issue. He's a fabulous dad.

hungryhippo90 · 09/01/2018 13:25

Yes. It’s funny because looking back, he was a pretty shitty boyfriend, but now we are married he has committed himself to being the very best husband that he can be.

Marrying him is without doubt the best thing I’ve ever done except for having my daughter.

JudgementalSquirrel · 09/01/2018 13:31

Yes. Without a doubt. He is a good man and possibly the only person on the planet that gets me. Its been 17 years and I dearly hope we are still together in our old age.

mummyDA · 09/01/2018 13:31

Yes - even more so now. He truly is my best friend and I find him more handsome now than we got married. I feel so lucky for the life we have built together.

Trytrytry2018 · 09/01/2018 13:32

God yes! Even more so now ❤️

Palegreenstars · 09/01/2018 13:46

Maybe not if I’d seen on paper how hard supporting a partner with depression can be. As pp said I might selfishly have chosen an easier single life and I think back then I wouldn’t have thought myself capable of handling it.

But I’d have been mistaken because although it’s tough sometimes our life together is wonderful and the tough times continue to bring us closer together. I’m so glad I didn’t know because I wouldn’t have been brave. Ignorance can lead to good things

RosaDeZoett · 09/01/2018 13:55

No I would not. Had DC with him before so we didn't even "need" to get married. He is lazy and selfish, a big spoilt man child. I could maybe live with that, but he has no interest in me, outside of what I can do for him. He doesn't care how I feel, or what I think. And he doesn't find me funny, which is proof absolute that he's not listening. Because I'm absolutely HILARIOUS! 😁 We are negotiating at the moment but it will be ending in divorce.
I won't be looking for another relationship, but am heartened to hear how many have happy second marriages. I'm looking forward to freedom, choices, independence.

goose1964 · 09/01/2018 13:59

Not sure, he has his good Points. but behaved pretty badly financially for a few years and he always has to be right.If I could go back and stop the financial problems,then yes

A580Hojas · 09/01/2018 14:02

I want to say a big fat NO but then I wouldn't have had the children I have, and I wouldn't change them for anything. I suspect a lot of answers on the thread are similar, I haven't yet read it all!

WaitingForSunday17 · 09/01/2018 14:04

No. but I have huge regrets over my whole life really. If I had my time again I wouldn't get married or have children. I will strongly be advising my children, particularly my daughter, to do neither. Happiest people I know are single and without children - by choice. It's different if it's something you want but can't have for whatever reason.

If either of my children decide to get married I can only hope that at least they don't have any children.

Lizzie48 · 09/01/2018 14:06

Definitely. I'm just sorry we didn't meet earlier, he did apparently come to my childhood church a few times when I was a teenager, pity we didn't see each other. Smile

Fionne · 09/01/2018 14:07

I want to say a big fat NO but then I wouldn't have had the children I have, and I wouldn't change them for anything. I suspect a lot of answers on the thread are similar, I haven't yet read it all!

But you’d have had other children and the children you have now would never have been in the first place.

JaneEyre70 · 09/01/2018 14:10

Yes I would, even though there have been many times in the last 25 years that I've thought what the hell am I doing with him Grin. We balance each other out well, and I think we've also realised how lucky we both are to have each other after some hard family times.

I consider myself very lucky with him too after reading a lot of threads on here.......

KateGrey · 09/01/2018 14:12

@WaitingForSunday17 I hope none of my children have kids either. I love my kids but life would be so different if it was just me.

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