To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

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I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

Absolutely definitely NOT

Gothmummy that's good👍

Saying no to this question does not necessarily mean you want to split up. It's possible to be happy with a relationship but also feel you think things could have gone better if you'd make other decisions because, statistically, they probably could have.

Could my life had been better somehow if I'd become a doctor, solicitor, or whatever? Yes. But that doesn't mean I hate my job now. If I had my chance again, I would do everything different merely for the change and to experience new things - who wants Groundhog Day?

Llangollen not sure that people change suddenly when married, think it may be more that people change over years. We've both changed, I suppose life has stepped in and I def think we're both so much more negative(God we both used to be so chirpy!!!) than we were but we still try to keep positive and enjoy life as much as we can

Balsamicbarbara Id kill to go back and change my job and do what I really wanted to do but then wouldn't have met himself, had our brilliant kiddies etc, but this is something I activel think of and wish for, can't get it out of my head!

No chance - I wish I'd listened to my gut all those years ago.

Yes in a heartbeat. Almost 20 years together.

Def yes!! In fact I would liked to have meet him sooner 😍

A yes because of my kids but a NO for my confidence & sanity. I should have seen the selfish git that he was and ran a mile. A decade of marriage down the line, I have no confidence, money and a broken heart.

But I do have my wonderful children!!

I’m definitely in the “hell yes!” camp. Together for 15 years, married for 13, 2 gorgeous DC. He’s a true partner - doesn’t “help me with housework” but does far more than his share because he just sees jobs that need doing and gets on with them. He does more than his share when I’m flagging, in turn I do more when he is. We’re a team, no competitive tiredness or “my life is harder than yours” arguments.

He brings me coffee in the mornings 😍 still gives me butterflies with some looks, knows what I’m thinking sometimes even before I do. Yes I’d marry him again. Even knowing that at some point, we’d both have to undergo major surgery to stay together (I’m giving him a kidney, he doesn’t get to cop out of our life early just because his don’t work!)

I love him to pieces and would cheerfully marry him again - but not if I had to plan a bloody wedding again. That was dreadful. I loved the day but the planning nearly sent me over the edge.

So yes but only if we could elope.

Lovecamping did we marry brothers?

I wouldn’t go through with it again at the moment, but there’s still time for that to change.

To Langollen, I didn’t live with him beforehand, but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have made a difference. It was only when the children arrived that I realised he was more selfish and immature than I’d thought. I suspect there were some red flags too, but I was clinically depressed when I met him. I was lonely and desperate for love.

Absolutely. Yes.
I still get excited when he is coming home!

100% Yes! He is my second husband. Been together 13 yrs. he’s till sexy and fascinating to me. Most days of the week! 😊

Not only two outcomes, Ninefortysix - I would absolutely remarry DH now, but there was a time when I wouldn't have done. Sort of fell out of love for a while and then back into it again for no reason I can explain.

Sadly no I wouldn't. We've been together for 3 years but I already want to leave. He's frequently grumpy and unpleasant and doesn't pull his weight around the house. His adult children make life difficult also.

Probably as already too invested as had kids and a house when we married.

Would I have allowed the relationship to start at all knowing what I know now? Nope.

Hind sight is a fucker.

Yes 100%
But there have been times over the last 4.5 years I would've said no!
Thank goodness for Relate

Yes, without a doubt. He has been my rock for 16 years and 3 children (plus 3 miscarriages and all kinds of health problems etc). I'd probably have waited longer to have children though, and changed some other choices I made along the way!!

Yes - Met at 18, engaged at 19, married at 20, pregnant now at 24 (we are the same age). I'm aware it hasn't been a long time though and no bambino yet. We do have our disagreements and I am still having stern conversations about him helping with the 'mental load' now in prep for baby coming as I can't/don't want to be doing all that for all our future children as well as the two of us. He listens and is making an effort. He's a great guy and I adore him. I'm definitely the one that is 'hard work' in the relationship - I have Asperger's and an anxiety disorder, and for the first few years of our relationship moderate-severe depression. I often struggle to see what he gets out of our relationship as I often feel like he is the one giving and I am the one taking, particularly in the past when my health was so poor for so long. He is amazing though and I hope he will be the great dad that I think he will be. My family all adore him as well (after my parents & dad's side got over the shock of him being from a different ethnic/cultural/religious background) so I think that's a good sign too.

Yes. In 13 years I've not met a man as wonderful as my husband.

I'm not especially happy at the moment, but that's due to my job.
So I would have chosen a very different path for myself, but taken him with me (and DC's)!

No, 2 kids and a business that has to carry a huge debt and the stress has turned him into an unpleasant person who spends all his time analysing spread sheets and treating me like shit has put me off him. Funnily enough before business and DC you couldn’t have found 2 people more lived up. Now I spend a lot of time worrying about the effects of EA on me and my 2 DC and wondering how much longer I can do 120 hour weeks without some sort of serious physical or mental breakdown.

It’s really sad because 5 years ago I would have been very much in the yes camp but it’s been hell. And I’m not very impressed with how he’s handled it.