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Original poster

To ask if you would re-marry your DP, knowing now what you didn't back then?

484 replies

constantchange · 09/01/2018 08:27

I thought this would make for an interesting thread.--

If you could go back to the year you married your husband/wife, would you still marry them, knowing everything you do about them now that you didn't back then?

OP posts:
Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 09/01/2018 22:26

"No. I adore my DC but if I hadn’t met and married him, then I wouldn’t be living my life as a bereaved mother. It’s absolute hell to lose a child and has ruined my health and happiness. I’d rather be single and naive, rather than waking up to this hell every single day."

I'm really sorry.

MissEliza · 09/01/2018 22:28

Yes because I love my dc, but no because I'm not his priority quite frankly.

Lovewineandchocolate · 09/01/2018 22:44

Amoregentlemanlikemanner

Flowers
myusernameisnotmyusername · 09/01/2018 22:45

Absolutely. Well we're not married but been together 15 years, engaged for 6. I wish we'd got married straightaway as we can't afford it now! We were really young when we got together and I would absolutely do it all again.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 09/01/2018 22:57

Not me. Quoting another poster.

GammaDelta · 09/01/2018 23:06

I most definitely would but I know he won't for sure..

I am very short tempered n not organised though he is very calm n organised ...i am sure he is really funding it difficult to be with me.... I need to know How to control my anger.... I love him to bits but find it very difficult to change.....

NotInMyBackYard1 · 09/01/2018 23:45

No. Absolutely not.
I wouldn't wish away our DC - but I have a tough time bringing them up virtually single-handedly.
Poor choice as a father, he's far too selfish and single-minded.

sweatylemon · 09/01/2018 23:48

100%
27 years later

boilingstormyseas · 09/01/2018 23:51

Absolutely not

LuluJakey1 · 10/01/2018 00:08

Yes because I love him and he loves me to bits and we have a happy relationship and two beautiful children who he is the most patient, loving father to. No one makes me laugh more than DH and he is such a good kisser.
But I have given up too much. He knew I did not want children but I gave in because he did. I love them both but have given up my career as a Deputy Head in a large comp to be a SAHM and I am really torn by that. I could have been a Head Teacher by now but it won't happen. I don't have that thing that I know I am really good at anymore.
I think about it a lot. It was an all consuming job and our DC are more important but I am disappointed that it is my career that has taken the traditional hit.

ChocolateDoll · 10/01/2018 00:10

I most certainly would not.

He is not the person I thought he was when we married Sad

PuntasticUsername · 10/01/2018 00:12

Yes. Definitely. We met in our crazy early 20s and thought we were happy then. But living with him, marrying him, raising our DC and loving him through thick and thin, has made us happier than I even knew we could be.

Dontsweathesmallstuff · 10/01/2018 00:25

Absolutely Yes.

Life hasn't exactly turned out as we would have dreamed, but the struggles and difficulties have actually brought us closer. Yes he has his faults but so do I and we actually compliment each other very well.

CrikeyPeg · 10/01/2018 00:57

Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. In lots of ways I wish we had met and married sooner but he would probably have run a mile if he'd met me when I was younger! Grin

Mummadeeze · 10/01/2018 01:32

So love reading all the posts from people who are happy with their partners after years of being together. I genuinely didn't think it was possible, let alone so common! It makes me want to strive for more.

verystressedmum · 10/01/2018 01:59

Yes although I shouldn’t have married him then when I did.
He was immature emotionally and had a lot of issues to work through and it was hard but we had 3 children and we got married. However he’s become a different more mature fantastic husband and if I hadn’t have married him we wouldn’t have now the life and relationship we have.
A strange one!

ImTrying · 10/01/2018 02:02

Mmmmm difficult one.

I love him to bits, a lot more since having children. He’s an amazing dad and a great husband to me. We have a nice life, financially comfortable, nice holidays etc. We don’t argue. However as much as he’s my best friend he’s not my soul mate. if I could have my time again I would of chosen someone closer to my age, but more intelligent, someone who’s more career driven/had more prospects (I am a professional who earns 4x what he does, the pressure on me is quite a lot whilst he has a lazy office job), someone who I could just have something “deeper” with.

sadiesnakes · 10/01/2018 02:10

This time last year I'd of said yes, without doubt. But since I've discovered he's not as honest and truthful as I thought he was, I've lost my rose colored glasses for him. I really can't say for sure anymore, but I love our DCs so couldn't change that for anything.

NickyNora · 10/01/2018 02:13

No. 18 years & 4dc here. I wouldn't. Hes not the man i thought he was.

RustyPaperclips · 10/01/2018 02:16

Without a doubt. I wish we had married sooner but such is life

LaughingLlama · 10/01/2018 02:33

No. Biggest mistake of my life.
I love my kids though except they are all grown up now and I'm left with just him.
Good news is that at 45 I probably have less time ahead of me now than
already past.

Theshipsong · 10/01/2018 02:40

Gosh no.

I met DH quite late and before I met him had a nice life but there was something missing. I wanted the (stable) relationship, I wanted to leave the ups and downs and dramas of my previous relationships behind and I wanted children. Things moved quite fast between us and within three years of meeting, we had our first baby. It was only then that I realised that what had initially attracted me to DH was what I now found least attractive. He totally lacks spontaneity and impulsiveness and the simplest thing seems to require meticulous planning until all joy is drained and I can't be bothered with it. He is unable to make a decision without so much consideration which results in nothing being done.

Sadly, while I don't miss the drama of past relationships, I equally dislike the boredom of this one. I would have been better off staying in my own house and being content in my own company.

Treasures · 10/01/2018 02:56

I absolutely would, he's the best thing ever!

ConstantiNoSugarInMineThanks · 10/01/2018 03:54

Oh yes x 10000000. He is a wonderful man, he’s a great Dad and also, while I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety, he’s been an absolute rock. Far more patient than I fear I would be if the roles were reversed. I love him even more than I did when I married him. He’s not perfect, no-one is, but he’s the perfect match for me Grin Wink.

I am really sorry to hear about the people who are stuck in loveless relationships, that must be so hard.

PollyBanana · 10/01/2018 04:08

Yes and no.
I love him to bits and he loves me even more, but I sometimes wish I'd married a man who would shag me on the kitchen table in the middle of the afternoon

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