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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when's the soonest after having a baby you'd have another?

238 replies

PennyBBT · 08/01/2018 21:24

My friend says 18 months old is when you should start trying again. Some say more years and some say soon as possible! Obviously it's totally personal opinion but how soon have you had another baby/would want to? X

OP posts:
GrumpyOldBagFace · 08/01/2018 21:27

Mine are 16 months apart. I would've had them closer (10 months) if it wasn't for the damned caesarean.

Spartaca · 08/01/2018 21:28

I fell pregnant with #2 when #1 was 1yr old,so he appeared when she was 21 months. Pregnancy was fine as I tend to have easy ones but I found the first few months very hard as she was still a baby herself really.

#3 came along when #2 was 5.5yrs and #1 is 7..it has been much easier! However the older two are very close and parenting them is pretty easy, they have similar needs and likes etc. I do worry that #3 will feel left out, or that we will struggle to do things they all like.

Nicae · 08/01/2018 21:28

16 months alert here too, planned to have them close together but did happen a bit quicker than we expected.

RavingRoo · 08/01/2018 21:30

They say 3 is the ideal minimum age gap because the eldest child doesn’t feel directly threatened in the same way an 18 mth old would. Have seen instances where an 18 mth child has regressed a little in terms of milestones to get attention

PsychoPumpkin · 08/01/2018 21:32

We had our last two thirteen months apart. Felt bonkers at the time but now I love the age gap

Smoochyschmoo · 08/01/2018 21:32

I have exactly 2 years between dc1 & 2, so fell pregnant when he was 15 months. Was great for them to grow up reasonably close in age and play with each other. Then there is 8.5 years between dc2 & 3...

Dc3 still just a baby and it’s great atm, older ones love him and help entertain him, and I get 1 on 1 time with him while they’re at school. BUT I do worry what it will be trying to go on days out pleasing a 4, 12 & 14 year old....

Advice79 · 08/01/2018 21:33

My eldest two have 13 months between them- it was planned- it was hard and tiring for a few months but so worth it they are 6 and 5 now x

BullshitSandwich · 08/01/2018 21:33

14m gap, started trying again as soon as I could manage doing the deed after the birth but it took nearly 4months to fall. I would have like them closer at the time but I'm glad of how things panned out.

Frazzled2207 · 08/01/2018 21:33

I got pregnant just after my first turned one. All turned out ok though the first couple of years with two were hectic!

A friend however got pg when her first was only 3 months. Eeek.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 08/01/2018 21:33

For me personally I couldn't have entertained the idea of being pregnant again til DC1 was a year old so hypothetically speaking the smallest age gap I could have ended up with was 21 months

RandomMess · 08/01/2018 21:34

14 month age gap, took that long for my periods to return!

SaucyJack · 08/01/2018 21:35

Nah, it's the other way round Raving.

An 18 month old is too young to feel sibling rivalry. They're just babies at that age. My oldest was 20 months old when DD2 was born, and after a day or so she forgot the baby wasn't ever there.

3 years old is terrible time to have a younger sibling.

Badgoushk · 08/01/2018 21:35

Mine are 23 months apart. It's great because they're interested in the same stuff at the same time. They're 2 and 4 now. But it was/is exhausting! If we had a third, I'd want the middle one to be at school so 5 years apart!

defineme · 08/01/2018 21:37

The dr told me 2 years before conceiving allows the body to recover, but so many things come into play. Ds2 and dd1 are 10 minutes apart, being twins!

NoWordForFluffy · 08/01/2018 21:37

13 month gap here. Would've been 10 months if I'd got pregnant as soon as we started trying.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 08/01/2018 21:39

I have just under 2 years with 1&2 and just over 2 years with 2&3. Really like the age gaps and wouldn't have done it any other way

PinkyBlunder · 08/01/2018 21:40

There will be nearly 5 years between mine. I did find that when my DD turned two, people really tried to pile the pressure on to have another Hmm

I don’t think there’s any ideal. It is what it is.

LuluJakey1 · 08/01/2018 21:40

DS was almost 28 months when DD was born. We had planned on him being about 3 so it happened about 9 months earlier. He was not very keen on her at first and didn't show much interest for a few weeks but loves her to bits now. It has been hard work. He is just 3 and it would have been a bit easier now.

YesMam · 08/01/2018 21:43

I had dc#2 when dc#1 was 25 months old, he'd just turned 2 the month before.

knowsnowt · 08/01/2018 21:44

Exactly 18 months between my 2 girls and they're so close. They're 3 and 2 now and it's lovely watching them play together. Just hope it lasts 😂

HughLauriesStubble · 08/01/2018 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yogagirl123 · 08/01/2018 21:53

I found out I was pregnant when DS1 was one, hard work having two under two, not sure if I would recommend it, however it is fab now, having two sons so close in age, they are teenagers now.

KatharinaRosalie · 08/01/2018 22:00

I planned 1.5 years, have 2 years and a day. It's great as they are very close, DC1 does not remember life before DC2, they like all the same things. You can get the baby stage over and done with.

Of course it probably would have been easier if there was a bigger gap and bigger one was more independent and more helpful - but I have a big gap with my sister and we were nothing like my own DC.

GreatFuckability · 08/01/2018 22:04

I planned 12 months. i miscarried sadly and the actual gap was 18 months. i had my third 15 months after the 2nd. again, we ttc from 3 months after but it took a few months to get pregnant that time. For me, the closer the better was preferable.

Prusik · 08/01/2018 22:05

Ds turned one on Saturday and I'm due in three weeks so am reading this thread with great interest.

Ds is a good napper so hopefully that will work out well. Other than that, he's not yet walking even though he's been cruising since 7 months and still has a few bottles a day so that'll be a challenge.