Horrible argument, am I being childish or is this something to be concerned about?

[Mulch]

Sorry this may be long winded. Agreed with oh that I will go gym in morning, he'll drop lo off at nursery. Wanted me to get him dressed and ready, got all his stuff out night before. I don't drive he does, its 5mins in car for him 1.5hr for me to drop off and get to work.

Sooo I go gym, him and baby are both asleep. Other half is self employed so comes and goes as he pleases. Night before said he wants to be gone for 7:30. As they're both asleep at 6:50 I just leave. At gym get an angry phone call saying he's leaving soon as I get in, very angry I didn't get him ready.

In the evening I'll be spending 1.5 picking him up and doing his bath, also all the household stuff and my uni work.

He's really angry, I got back just before 8 from gym so would literally not have time to get baby to nursery and work whereas is takes him 5mins. The amount of time he spend arguing on phone he could have got him ready, its just a matter of getting him dressed and in car. This is the only child care he's doing today.

My reaction probably wasn't ideal. I stood in front of door to stop him going, he tries to push me out way. He then says ok get him ready and I'll take him but jumps in car to leave....I then sit in passenger seat and he drives off while we argue leaving baby alone in the house with the door open.

I'm crying telling him his reaction isn't normal, he went round the block but it was scary thinking what could have happened. I know I shouldn't have jumped in car with him but I was really mad that it was all being left to me and I'll never make it to work on time whereas it takes him 5mins and that's the only child related care he's doing that day

I think his realised he was behaving ott so then sat and waited while I got baby ready. It was a horrible argument.

I'm sorry, you can not paint him as the only bad guy.
You got in the car, leaving your door wide open and a baby asleep inside? I'm sorry but you should feel fucking awful. Yes he was terrible for driving off but why the hell didn't you get out of the car?! I doubt it's that fast a car that does 0-60 in a couple of seconds. What the hell were you thinking to even put yourself in that position?
He's a fucking arsewipe but I fully understand why he was pissed off.

Hardly anyone on here has painted him as the only bad guy. Most of us have acknowledged that the car bit was bad - on both their parts.

However, I don't particularly see why he was so pissed off. OK, so there was an agreement that she'd dress the baby. Did there really need to be such a drama over the fact that she didn't? To the extent that he had to phone her at the gym to complain and get her to come home and do something he should have just sucked up and done himself? Mildly annoying, yes, but to kick off in the way he did? No way.

I do feel awful, getting out a moving car didnt cross my mind

I was addressing that to OP.

She told him she would Dress the baby yet snuck out the house leaving him 40 minutes to get himself up, washed, dressed & fed as well as a 1yr old. No where near enough time. Yes he should have used that time to do as much as he could and just accept being late, but he didn't. That does make him a dick. I see why he was annoyed, I don't agree with his reaction. However everything could have stopped there except OP refused to let him leave, so he pushed her. If a man was refusing to let a woman leave and she pushed him, no one would think anything of it. Then, when he was trying to leave (perhaps trying to leave the situation before it escalated further?) she climbed in the car. Obviously indicating that he couldn't leave or he would be responsible for leaving the baby. He called her bluff and drove around the block. Once again, he is a fucking dick. So is OP.

Poor child doesn't have great role models

She told him she would Dress the baby yet snuck out the house leaving him 40 minutes to get himself up, washed, dressed & fed as well as a 1yr old

Firstly, OP is a grown woman, she didn’t sneak anywhere. That’s ridiculous.

Secondly, if he had his shit together he’d have ensured he was up and organised.

Thirdly, if you can’t get yourself and 1 child fed and dressed in 40 minutes then you have a serious problem getting organised.

OP didn’t help by blocking his exit or getting in the car, but the point is that ALL this shit could have been avoided if he was a proper fucking grown up!

All of that shit could have been avoided if OP stuck to the agreed plan of getting baby ready in the morning. Get baby ready, wake dp up "off to the gym now. Cya later"

Its not her job to wake him, no...but how easier life would have been had she stuck to the original plan.

And also, he wasn't technically "late" for anything. He's self-employed and arranges his own timetable, apparently. He just decided he wanted to leave at 7.30. Not ideal, no, to have to change his plans in this way, we've established that, but his response was way OTT.

I would struggle to get me and DS up, washed, fed and dressed in 40 minutes. I don't have organisational problems, I have 1 yr old problems. Takes about 15 mins to give him his breakfast let alone the rest.

If it took him 30 minutes to get ready for work he probably set an alarm 30 minutes before he needed to leave under the assumption that OP would be doing what she had agreed to and all he had to do was get himself read and leave with the Baby.

And yes I would call it sneaking. Or being blatantly disrespectful to just not do something you've agreed to do for absolutely no reason other than just not doing it.

He failed by not setting his alarm earlier but if he trusted his OH to do as she agreed to why would he set it earlier?

All of that shit could have been avoided if OP stuck to the agreed plan of getting baby ready in the morning

Ah yes, the plan that absolutely absolves the baby’s other parent from doing the most basic of tasks. Silly me, of course OP should do everything because goodness knows we can’t expect a MAN to actually parent

The baby has breakfast at Nursery, the OP told us that earlier.

@FitBitFanClub he could have had a conference call or a meeting lined up? He could have had orders which needed to be placed before a certain time. Just because you are self employed doesn't mean you have no timetable at all. If his job involves any form of communication with another person or company in any way, there will be certain things he has to do by certain times.

I do feel awful, getting out a moving car didnt cross my mind

Neither is leaving the baby in the house on their own with the door wide open.

You both need to grow the fuck up quite frankly.

The baby has breakfast at Nursery, the OP told us that earlier.

Apologies, I missed that bit.

Still, 40 minutes is not suitably long enough IMO

the pair of them didn't leave the baby in the house with the door open.

The P was going to drive away and the OP sat in the front seat to stop him doing so. Because she knew no decent parent would drive away with the other adult of the household in the car, leaving the baby on its own in the house.

She did what she did PRECISELY because she knew that him driving away in those circumstances was unthinkable and didn't think he woukd do it in a million years.

Have none of you ever walked out to the wheelie bin with a nappy leaving the front door open? It's pretty clear she expected her P to see sense in about the same timescale.

So she was wrong. Why is it her fault, not the fault of her utter arse of a P?

OP, using your driving to frighten your partner is abuse.

They both do parent though. This was arranged the night before - why leave it til last minute to change the plan without informing the other parent?
It would piss a lot of people off to be fair. Especially if it was the man who had changed the plans last minute.

It could have and should have been handled differently and that is where the issue lies. The way they have both handled this is just ridiculous.
Dp could and should have just got on with it.
Op should not have risen to his refusal in the way she did.
The outcome from both of their point scoring resulted in their child being left unattended.

Had the original plan been followed - none of this would have happened

Had the original plan been followed - none of this would have happened
Actually, it goes back further and deeper than that. This is to do with the unhealthy dynamic of their relationship as a whole, whereby he dips in and out of parenting, leaving her feeling harassed, put-upon and resentful.

Well if you agreed to get the baby dressed then you should have. And if it looked like he was going to oversleep then I would have woken him up to make sure the morning ran smoothly. But then he shouldn't have driven off with you either. I guess he was late and wanted to go. Massive parenting fail on both sides really although more on his for driving off with the door open. But it paints neither of you in a good light. What you going to do now? Things can't carry on like this can they.

the pair of them didn't leave the baby in the house with the door open

Yes they did actually. Unless there was some other adult hanging about.

They were having an argument. She blocked his way to stop him leaving he got in the car.

No one comes out of this situation well imo. It was pathetic point scoring.

Being pissed off and calling the other parent home to do a five minute job just to be petulant are not synonymous. If he'd called her at the gym to complain but done it anyway - because it needed doing - this thread wouldn't be here

Gosh, there are some seriously fixated people around, who can't get their heads around the idea that sometimes a plan can change. Yes, she said she'd get him dressed, but as things turned out, and he was soundly asleep, she thought it wouldn't be the end of the world (as t shouldn't have been) for the child's OTHER PARENT to chuck some clothes on him, just as she does every other morning when he's not there and only tending to himself.

But Yy to what Fitbit said ^

dreadful. him but also you.

But why not communicate that to the other parent? A note, a text, wake him up and tell him, send a bloody messenger pigeon- just basic communication.

But why not communicate that to the other parent?

Yes, maybe, in an ideal word. But even so, it shouldn't have been an issue.

They were both wrong. Is that not fairly obvious? And a baby was left alone while the parents drove off, with the front door swinging open.

And even if the risk to baby was minimal in that situation, it's royally fucked up!

Because who actually behaves that way??? Seriously, who doesn't stop themselves at the point where he or she is about to leave their baby alone like that?