To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

When DC1 was in reception I had to wrap the present and hand it over without him seeing because he'd have a meltdown if it was something he wanted!!

Now that's a grabby child! Thankfully he grew out of that.

Very ungrateful op.

I understand what you mean about people not listening. We flew to inlaws for xmas. Did our own early Xmas with kids before leaving so they'd already had presents from us, santa and my family. Inlaws asked what to get kids and were given gift suggestions including small games eg dobble, and story books, and asked to
Please not to get lots and particularly not anything bulky or heavy as we would never fit it in luggage on return flight. Christmas day arrives, there's a sports bag full presents for each child. I know they want to spoil them, and I'm grateful for that but we had to leave two thirds of it behind because we couldn't fit it in luggage. Every single thing apart from the small things we suggested was age inappropriate too unfortunately, eg really complex fiddly lego set for a just turned 4yo, games which involve reading and maths (he doesn't even know the alphabet yet and can only count to 13). Almost two year old got a load of stuff that specifically says not for under 3's, and is impossible for her to play with anyway as she doesn't have the dexterity yet, and then randomly some Fisher price baby toys, the sort of thing you normally give a 9mo.
I don't want to be ungrateful but it's frustrating that they have wasted their money on toys that can't be played with, and that I know have my 4yo asking where his Christmas present is and have to tell him that we had to leave it behind.

Also, being scared of a book? If it was a movie of scary dinosaurs I could maybe understand. But at 6 being frightened by a book of dinosaurs would seem like pretty extreme anxiety. Perhaps it might be a good idea to use the book to help lessen that? Maybe look at a picture a day explaining that they don't exist anymore so are nothing to be frightened of.

I really would find that level of sensitivity concerning at 6.

You give me polyester two piece pyjamas (how dare they) and i'll raise you an age 6-7 girls top and leggings set for a 9 year old boy.

I just took it back to the shop and exchanged it for something more suitable

Why on earth haven't you just taken it back to the shop and exchanged it for something else. I've done just that this week at Disney, Next, M&S and Matalan. Didn't have receipts for any of them but they were happy to exchange or put the amount on a gift card. At least that way the givers money isn't completely wasted and you/your child has something you want. What an absolute waste.

I know it all snaps together - but if you love building forts, houses, towns or train stations, you may find that car parts will not be easily incorporated into your ideas. As a child I played with Lego non-stop for years and used everything I could from kits I was given. The car parts were not that useful (ime).

One of the best Lego presents I got was a big set of various bricks. If you look at the packaging of sets like that today, you will see that they feature vehicles. It's a pity Lego is labouring under the misapprehension that this is a selling point. I think it may be offputting for girls and for people buying for girls.

And again, how much storage space is available determines how welcome a toy is in given homes. If very little, it's frustrating that people are giving gifts that won't be used.

So ungrateful
And awful attitude, you and your son. You can't let him say stuff is stupid when lots of other people like it.
Lego is pretty expensive, there is no reason why you couldn't have exchanged the unopened boxes.
Out of interest, what presents did you buy?

You sound unreasonable to me. Re-gift, exchange the toys or sell them on Gumtree or Ebay. My kids got given a wrapped gift to hand to a friend at birthday parties & they rarely asked what it was & did not care that if it was something they had no interest in. I have boys so they didn’t have any interest in gifts I bought for girls at all. How odd your 6 year old has an opinion & input on a gift for one of his friends. Get a grip.
Use the money for something that meets your very high expectations.
YABU.

The age-range for Lego is mostly about 6-14. FFS give him a chance

My DS (now 9yo) totally not into cars. Never has been. But Lego? Geez he has played with the stuff for hhooouurrrrs. But probably only really got it about aged 6. The cars and the people may not be your DS's thing now - but if he builds up more Lego gifts over the years he will be in a world of huge creativity and imagination. If you let him.

DS spends hours building playgrounds, spaceships, spacestations, schools, castles, furniture - anything and everything. From sets. Including car sets. And then the Lego people do stuff.

If you really, truly, cannot see the value in Lego then stop. Stop whining about it. Give it back to your son and wait. . Allow your son to find out about it.

The lego is all from the easy to build range, its very, very prescriptive.
we got loads of happyland cars when he was a baby, he never played with them. tons if duplo cars - he never played with them. now lego. i hope the older lego is as versatile as i remember it!
He is actually really easy to buy for, puzzles, arts & crafts stuff, playdoh. his favorite present was a notebook and a pack of crayons .
Presents are from grandparents and aunts/uncles, but since he's a boy he gets cars. even if he has never been into cars, and has never played with them. he still gets cars or clothes.

I'm thinking that a MN 'swap shop' (RIP Keith Chegwin) would be a really good idea perhaps?

Perhaps donate the unwanted gifts direct to a refugee charity rather than a charity shop?The clothes will defiantly be used and possibly also the LEGO. Then next year ask for a donation to charity rather than gifts if you feel that you really don't want them. TBH I have always thought that LEGO in any form is a good gift as expensive to buy for what you get but it is very small so not a burdenon space in your house. I expect your school or othe local chilftens organisation might be grateful for the donation of LEGO. Lots of schools use LEGO. Our school is always asking for LEGO donations. Or take to a shop that sells it (supermarket) and exchange it for something your DC would play with..and also next year remind family.about the polyester issue. I would not want to give cash gift to a 6 year old and would rather risk something as a risk.

*risk an unwanted gift

Just exchange stuff. Everyone gets things they don't ask for. Dealing with disappointment, saying thank you and making the best of it are skills that serve you well in life.

Ah, you have a point about the easy to build range. My youngest has some (Pixar Cars range) and there are fewer pieces and they do pretty much just make the model they are sold as.

Shame.

Good grief! I’d never have believed this was such a controversial topic if I hadn’t just read 4 pages of ‘YABU’!

If I took your post to my group of peer parents (kids aged 4-9), it would meet with universal empathy. Who is benefitting from all this unused, inappropriate gift-giving? Certainly not the families or the planet, or the wallets of gift-givers.

It is not unreasonable to think that a gift could include 3 minutes consideration of the recipient child’s physical needs and/or personality preferences! Or the tiny amount of regard of listening and remembering what the parent has told you.

Sorry, but OP has put far more thought, effort and manners into dealing with these gifts than the givers have.

Unless the gift is from Maiden Aunt Maude or the teenage babysitter, who might be understandably a bit off the mark about appropriateness, I think OP is allowed a mini whinge!

I also think it’s ironic that so many posters are piling on with what the OP should use the presents for, when she’s been clear they are not usable for her kids in her household. Sounds like lots of people here gave polyester clothes, baby pjs and LEGO car sets this year and are miffed they weren’t shown more gratitude themselves?

After making the original model in the Lego kit my DS (also 6) uses them to build rockets or spaceships or boats with wheels or any number of weird inventions.

But it’s not just one item skittles it’s a list load nothing is good enough

Keep the lego boxes and the book so they can be re gifted as birthday presents for your kid's school friends.

Take the clothing back to the shop and explain they were gifts and ask if you can exchange. If you can, great. If you can't then charity bag them. It is worth checking.

I understand your frustration but tbh if your children' were not gifted anything, you'd be more upset Believe me.

Your son might think cars are stupid but other people may like them. It's funny that even after receiving things he doesn't like, you still haven't taught him that giving is about what the receiver would like, not the other way round.

My 5 year old will have the scary dinosaur book! We all sat and watched Jurassic Park today. Am slightly concerned this makes me a bad parent. He also loves Jurassic World (as do I).

Modern polyester microfibres are softer and more breathable than cotton. They wick sweat away from the body and keep you cool. I've suffered from eczema and the worst thing for it is wool. Might it be worth giving the clothes a try?

What are these Lego sets you speak of that only have cars and people? Surely the cars are made from bits of Lego, no?

And 2 part sets are fine. My 2nd DC hated sleepsuits (hated having her feet covered) so she went into footless babygrows and 2 piece sets almost from birth.