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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despair of children’s Christmas presents

351 replies

Yura · 06/01/2018 21:03

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

OP posts:
dontbesillyhenry · 06/01/2018 21:54

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Lovemusic33 · 06/01/2018 21:54

Eczema household here too, the only thing that aggravates it here seems to be wool. Would cost me a fortune if I dressed my kids in cotton.

bobstersmum · 06/01/2018 21:54

Wow, a bit ungrateful op! By the way I swear by pj's for baby, so much easier to change.
Lego is lego we have loads of sets just mixed in with the bricks.
People have spent time and money on your family so try not to moan!

BusyBeez99 · 06/01/2018 21:55

Tell people to stop buying your kids stuff. You don't keep it. It's a waste of their money. Ask them to donate the toys to charity instead.

What an ungrateful person you are. YABU

Ratinthehat · 06/01/2018 21:55

God talk about ungrateful. Legos pricey (hence why my lego mad son didn't get any from me this year) but things he has got but didn't like he's pulled apart and made other things. Car roofs make great barriers apparently.

NotPayingAttention · 06/01/2018 21:55

Well I for one totally commiserate with you! I always put so much thought into what I get for other people/their kids, to the point that it stresses me out at Christmas a bit, but I do it because I care. I would never get something thoughtlessly because I think it reflects how I feel about that person and how much I care. If I'd had the faintest inkling that your kids were allergic to polyester I would go out of my way to find something nice non-polyester in the appropriate size (I would make sure to ask you before buying.) and I would get a gift receipt or at least keep the reciept and tell you you could have if needed. I can appreciate that some people have a very limited budget but you can always find something within your price range which shows you care. I get where you're coming from op. It's mindless spending just for the sake of giving a gift, usually quantity over quality and it just makes you feel guilty when having to take brand new things to donate. I, like you, would rather just get a card. I don't think that's unreasonable at all.

juddyrockingcloggs · 06/01/2018 21:56

We have more Lego sets in our house than I care to think about and the only thing that I can gain from your post is that a) you are ungrateful and b) none of you have the creativity to build something from your imagination. It's extremely easy to make something none car like from a 'car' lego set. The car 'base plate' was made into a robot by my 6 year old only this morning.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 06/01/2018 21:57

its hard to explain to a 6 year old that he won't be able to ever wear his favorite character pyjamas (pokyester, again) - and to still write a thank you note for them

Let him wear the top over a thin cotton tee shirt.

Sorry OP, but with all the 'why oh whys...' and 'despairing' and 'sadly's' this is quite whiney.

I can't add to the other excellent suggestions here for how to 'cope' with this terrible dilemma. Life, eh?

mathanxiety · 06/01/2018 21:58

You can play creatively with just about anything. However, if your child spends a lot of time drawing and painting and you have limited storage space, you might find yourself asking if you are willing to store Lego kits that might be used once in a blue moon, or if it would be nice if your child had received a pack of printer paper that she would actually use, and justify the use of space.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2018 21:58

Tell people NO gifts next Xmas.

Unicornfluffycloudsandrainbows · 06/01/2018 21:59

I think the fact op has an issue with all the presents her precious ds recieved suggests nothing is good enough it’s not one issue but several you are raising a very entitled child. Nothing is good enough unless you pick it.

CinnamonLozengesareyum · 06/01/2018 21:59

I've never seen a Lego car that cannot be taken apart and we have lots of Lego.

I wanna see OP, I do not think such a thing exists!

Absolutely. I looked at the set mathanxiety posted and it can all be used.

Honestly, my 7yo probably wouldn't be really excited to get a lego car set as he will have had most of them a couple of years ago. He wouldn't be disappointed either. He always says it's spare parts.

Unless you are loaded I'd keep the Lego for your little one or as birthday presents. I wouldn't let DC have a say in what we are giving other kids if it saves me money. Lego is a good gift.

I have been charity shopping clothes for years. My family always buy smart clothes and my DC find them uncomfortable. I don't like to ask for receipts as I think they buy them in sales earlier in year. I do feel guilty that they waste their money.

PistFump · 06/01/2018 22:00

We were asked for ideas - they suggested a scooter, we said no thanks but ds already has a scooter he is desperate for a trampoline- money toward that would be fab. He got another scooter.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 06/01/2018 22:01

Stop talking shite, NotPayingAttention

AnnaBay · 06/01/2018 22:01

mathanxiety the Lego kits we have fits all other Lego because it's Lego. Even if it's attachments rather than bricks, it still snaps on and off.
It doesn't matter what set it came from, it's still Lego.

PippaSqueaks · 06/01/2018 22:02

I think what you're pretty much saying is that you want to be able to dictate to people what they should be getting for your kids. And if they don't, then you'll find fault with whatever they do get to make your point.

You do sound grabby and entitled.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 06/01/2018 22:03

Why haven't you just exchanged it all?

OliviaMansfield · 06/01/2018 22:04

What is wrong with two part pj's? I think your just being fussy there.

LuluJakey1 · 06/01/2018 22:05

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expatinscotland · 06/01/2018 22:06

'I think what you're pretty much saying is that you want to be able to dictate to people what they should be getting for your kids. And if they don't, then you'll find fault with whatever they do get to make your point.

You do sound grabby and entitled.'

Yep, or 'give us money!'

Snooks1971 · 06/01/2018 22:06

So all labels are attached still? I get your angst over the so called wrong presents but please don't moan and despair, take them back to the shop and exchange, or get a credit voucher card. If you don't need the money by all all means donate to charity though!

I'm afraid you do come across as ungrateful and controlling, your eldest DC is 6 and he may well have a friend at some point soon that likes Lego car sets

You need to relax and stop clearing your home of anything that is not immediately usable

(I'm a slight hoarder though! Smile)

Patienceisvirtuous · 06/01/2018 22:07

2 part pjs for a 7 month old? Yes - they’re IDEAL...

expatinscotland · 06/01/2018 22:07

And bringing up the next generation of entitled and thoughtless. Your son won't give a gift that he wouldn't like to receive? Eh? A gift is about the other person.

ShatnersBassoon · 06/01/2018 22:09

Lego is Lego; if you're struggling to work out what to do other than recreate the picture on the box, you're doing it wrong. If your kids don't like cars this week, there's always next week...

Athaliah · 06/01/2018 22:09

I’m sure that all gifts were bought with good intentions.

You sound very ungrateful and a little bit as if you’d only be able to see the negative in any situation.

The eczema must’ve very painful for the children and difficult for yourself. Complaining about the cars and two part pjs doesn’t cast you favourably.