To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

DD1 got loads of dolls. Then DD2 got loads of dolls. Then DD3 got loads of dolls. Then DD4 got loads of dolls. When I moved from our house I gathered a collection of 32 baby dolls plus doll clothes plus a cradle. Then there were numerous Barbies, all naked. One grandparent used to send expensive Madame Alexander dolls for each birthday and occasions like First Communion. The intention was that they would be purely decorative. DS got plane kits that the girls and DS all loved, and a savings bond for FC.

The DDs liked drawing, painting, crafts, Lego, reading, biking, swimming, roller skating and ice skating. They did not play with dolls. They did not incorporate dolls into their play. I had enough space to store so many dolls, but it was quite a boxfull to send to charity shops when the time came.

It was a case of present buying based on a stereotype of 'girl' presents. They always sent a thank you note though.

YANBU.

It is such a waste! We got some awful fleece onesies. Our kids only wear cotton PJs- even the younger one refuses babygros and we live in a warm area so they would just bake. We also got lots of chocolate which DH had to eat (dairy issues) and lots of really awful books when our house is already way too full of books.

There are a lot of people on this thread who don't realise how different lego us these days. Most special kits have hardly any normal bricks. I hate this and the way so much of it is linked to franchises like Star Wars (and I actually like Star Wars, just don't want it in lego!) and Cars.

I hear you op. Although I do swing from, ah the thought was nice, to why the fuck would you buy that. One particular present buyer for my children likes to buy things in 5 yrs too big/ 2yrs too small, and then cut off the tags before giving them. So left with the option of storing for five years the too big things and charity shopping the too small things. It does destroy all that was really thoughtful feelings.
Lego juniors range really does only make what it shows on the box, if it's cars you literally click together a few pieces to make a car. There seems to be a bit of a habit this year for pjs to be cotton except the front character panel which is polyester. Ds got a pair that said cotton on outside but front panel is definitely polyester. At least when you charity shop things it's a double positive, the charity gets the money and someone else gets a bargain. Win win.

'and his friends have similar likes, none of them line racing cars'

You sound ridiculous

How on earth would you even know

A bunch of 6 year olds which you catagorically know 'don't like racing cars' Lego....

Presumably the cars you have got are these or similar:

shop.lego.com/en-GB/Thunder-Hollow-Crazy-8-Race-10744

They do look a bit shit as no building or parts involved, if you don't want to play with cars they are completely useless and you have about 3 random bricks left over.

I don't blame his school friends for not wanting them, they've probably outgrown them too.

Basically you gave friends and family a list of 'he hates cars, no polyester' and you got cars and polyester. I think you have a point.

What's the betting they don't like dinosaurs either?

Yura yes I agree. It is awful that they do not ask. I know it is terrible that people do that sadists.

If it's lego juniors range then I kind of see what you mean. My 3yr old got Disney cars one. I think it's a bit young for a 6 year old to be honest so he would be better off with the normal lego. So if I was you I would certainly be trying to swap it or keep it to regift when your baby gets to 3 and gets party invites.
My 6 year old daughter loves lego and is fine with the normal range. My 3 yr old also got a box of lego classic and I'm happy to report that you can make many things with them. You can even go online to lego.com/classics and download the instructions for loads of different things.

The pyjama thing is annoying for you if you know it irritates them but I think you being quite ungrateful as I don't think anyone thought 'ooooh look polyester pjs!' They would have thought oh look it's his favourite character . You are being very martyr like sighing and charity shopping, if they are tagged still just go and swap them.

Dinosaurs?? He's 6. I have a 6 year old, I teach 6 year olds and I'm yet to meet one who is traumatised by a book about them so you are being dramatic thinking the gifter should have known better. Send it this way my 3 year old loves dinosaur books.

I understand how OP feels.
What a waste, my child would be gutted, too, etc.
I don't get starting an AIBU thread about this.
AIBU is rarely light-hearted & there was plenty in OP that did sound unreasonable.

Maybe this Christmas you should just tell everyone no presents.

Loads of happy land cars.....I don't think I've ever seen a Happyland car let alone loads. Happyland ambulance, safari vehicle with animals, London bus and passengers etc. But not cars.

You sound whiny.

I presume you've been keeping a notebook by you all year to record minutiae from conversations with your family regarding their preferences / throwaway comments on what they like and that you've bought them perfect presents.

Take lego back to large toyshop, explain unwanted Christmas present and ask them if you can swop. Problem solved.

Maybe your son needs some help with imagination. My niece and nephew have loads of the juniors lego and rarely build what it is supposed to be, well maybe the once.

I also love babies in PJ's can't see the issue there. Also my 17 month old has only just grown into the 12-18 month trousers as he has short legs and skinny hips - so the 9-12 month stuff maybe fine come September.

Personally I would hate to buy for you - you do sound ungrateful, and as others have said your son is sounding it to.

Sell the Lego on eBay...

YANBU.

The etiquette around gift giving has to change for the sake of the planet. We cannot go on buying stuff that people then donate.

I understand your utter frustration. My DC have multiple allergies yet close family/friends buy standard chocolate Easter Eggs they cannot eat. DD2 cried last year when I tried to swap one of her eggs for Moo free chocolate.

'as son wouldn't want to give something as a present that he thinks is stupid, '

At 6

How odd

Maybe they bought them before they knew what type of Lego your older one was into and about the polyester issue? Some people buy well in advance, such as in the January sales ( particularly clothing) to give for the followingChristmas.

We all get shit presents, write a thank you note and allocate appropriately

Regift, ebay or car boot

What 6 year old prescribes his party gift or ever sees it opened

Actually sometimes I think it's more thoughtful for someone to go and pick something that they think your child will love, without asking. For example, when DD (or me for that matter) are given a book as a gift, someone's has taken the time to look at it and decide we would like it. Even if they get it slightly wrong, it's genuinely the thought that counts.
Maybe next year your children could pick a charity and ask for donations to that instead?
You do sound a bit ungrateful, one year DD got the same thing 3 times from different people. We found it funny and just passed the two extras on to the charity shop

I could say the same to you iamagreyhoundhearmeroar. In fact I will. Stop talking shite iamagreyhoundhearmeroar. You are in fact being stupidly judgemental about a small child's opinion which he's entitled to have. I expect you're the kind of person who doesn't give a flying toss and just grabs the first thing they see in the sales which loosely fits the demographic of the person you're buying for? They're just so ungrateful if they don't appreciate the thought!

Why don’t you say??? No car things please! They are not mind readers!!!

You are making such a fuss of something you could rectify!!

You sound nuts

But Lego cars are made out of Lego bricks. They're not all in one jobs.