To despair of children’s Christmas presents

[Yura]

I just packed a huge charity bag with unusable Christmas presents - why oh why do people not ask? And why do they not listen to the answers?
Loads of Lego - child likes the bricks, but not cars. It’s all cars (5 boxes)
Clothes with polyester - both kids have eczema that is triggered by polyester. Everybody around us know that as it took us ages to get wearable school uniform for the oldest. A bag full going to the charity shop with labels attached.
Warm winter clothes 9-12 months size up for the baby. He is in 3-6 months now, they would fit in summer (Polyester anyway, so can’t use them)
2 part pyjamas for the baby? Polyester anyway so he can’t wear them, but 2 parters for a 7 month old?
A book on “ scary dinosaurs” for a very sensitive 6 year old suffering from nightmares (we’ll keep that actually, maybe the baby will like it when he’s older)
I’m thankful that people give us presents, but we end up giving 90% unopened/labels attached to the charity shop, it’s such a waste.

I know they're polyester so your children can't use them but your other points about the PJs and clothes are daft. Lots of people use two part PJs, I use a mix of them and full sleepsuits for mine. Also, my baby is 10 months, at a month old he was in age 3-6 clothes (he was a big baby), age 6-9 from around 3 months and 9-12 from around 5 months. He's been in 12-18 months for a good 3 months now though and likely will for a long time, they slow down but also can have big spurts. Let's face it too, English summers aren't here for 3 months, will definitely be cold enough at some point in summer for warm outfits to be needed.

As for the Lego, use to regift.

no, he doesn't like to give things he didn't like to receive to others. and his friends have similar likes, none of them line racing cars

They're not entirely wasted if you've donated them to charity - imagine someone on a very low budget stumbling across one of your brand new things that was exactly what their DC wanted at a fraction of the cost - you might have made someone's day!

Apart from the polyester, they all seem like decent presents. Would these people know your child is scared of dinosaurs?
The regifting thing seems odd... surely if he doesn’t like them he can comprehend that someone else might? My three year old hates paw patrol but knows her friend likes it and wanted to get her some paw patrol merchandise for her birthday.

What do you mean, it's all cars? Surely the Lego cars are made of Lego bricks?

Wow just wow! All the children/people who get nothing for Christmas or birthdays and here you are moaning. Yes YABVU - you sound spoilt and rude tbh

We used two part pyjamas from about 3 months too, couldn’t stand the poppers on sleepsuits.

You seem to have a lot of people buying your kids presents! Mine get:
Grandparents (1 set)
2 x Aunties
1 godparent present each
Plus a token gift from childminder.
That's it apart from us and the stocking from santa.

Your kids sound as ungrateful as you do if they refuse to use anything but Lego bricks! Lol. Kidding on, just mix them up

You are unreasonable and fucking ungrateful

Yabu. Those are normal presents.

I give a lot to charity shops when we get unsuitable presents, so I don't feel they are wasted. I suppose we're lucky enough to afford to buy our dc what they need and it doesn't matter if presents aren't right. Also we do have storage space if I think something may be useful later.

My eldest is 6 and has asd and is developmentally behind her peers. It's frustrating for her when she gets gifts marketed at 6yo but she cannot do them. If people asked, I'd ask them to buy toys aimed at younger children, but they don't ask. It's disappointing to me but as I say my dd doesn't go without.

Yabu. And ungrateful.

I honestly don’t understand why you don’t speak to the person who bought them for your DC. I would much rather the gift I bought be used by the recipient than sent to the charity shop.

Wow! Maybe you should suggest no presents next year OP?

I really don't think it is a good idea to teach your son that presents are rubbish and you take them straight to the charity shop.

@brutusmcdogface The cars are made of bottom plate, wheels attached, and custom side plates and roofs. they are only for cars. no regular blocks sadly, not made for creative play.

and yes, its hard to explain to a 6 year old that he won't be able to ever wear his favorite character pyjamas (pokyester, again) - and to still write a thank you note for them.

Most of that list is just clothes they can't wear due to the polyester, I don't understand why you've split them into separate lines? Fair enough they can't wear polyester but I don't see anything wrong with 2-piece pyjamas or winter clothes. You can take them back and swap them for different sizes or materials.

I would keep the lego - your DS's tastes may well change as he gets older, why not keep it - surely if it's all mixed in together he'll end up playing with it all at some point? The same goes for the book.

Op you are being ridiculous. Do you really expect your relatives or friends to remember something so specific about your child as liking particular parts of Lego but disliking other parts to the extent of rendering the gift unusable? Allergies, ok maybe but when it isn't something like a peanut allergy that the gift giver needs to account for every time he sees your children, it would be nice but not essential that they remember it. Just ask for a receipt to exchange the clothes and explain why.

I think you have to adjust your expectations about what other people remember/consider about your children.

YOU know they have eczema, hate cars, and would be scared by dinosaurs, because you're their parent, but it's just not the kind of information that sticks in other people's heads...

It's not like the presents were wildly inappropriate.

I think you should make 'no present' deals. Waste of people's money buying your kids anything.

The "very sensitive" 6 year old doesn't even need to know what's in the birthday present, just tell him it's a surprise. My not very sensitive three children wouldn't have thought of that when they were that age - I bought something I deemed suitable and they handed it over!

Yanbu. I hate the waste of Christmas. You’ve been given so much stuff that you don’t need, don’t want and that is of no use to you. When you have told people that polyester is bad for your children’s skin and they still buy it for them. We have a sil like this, we exchange ideas for the children and ask what she wants. she listens to what the dc want and then buys something similar but not the right thing (eg instead of a spider man toy, she bought a blanket, when ds had specifically asked for the toy). It is so frustrating and means we have to go to the charity shop with a bag of stuff and buy what we actually wanted in the first place. On the other hand, she gets exactly what she asked for becasue that’s why I asked in the first place.
Our country and the whole world has such a problem with rubbish and plastic especially and yet people still buy, buy, buy with no regard for where the products are going to end up. It makes me so sad.

i would love no presents! a nice card is all we need.

I'd suggest next year you ask for people not to give you presents and maybe give one to charity instead. I'd be mortified if anybody I made the effort to buy for wrote such an ungrateful post as this.

You are teaching your DC terrible attitude. Maybe they could try out the Lego instead of just moaning about it, you never know. Just say no presents next

YABU and prissy.